Following the Natural Curve: Part One
by Bella5
Summary: Lily Evans believes her life is over when she finds out during the summer before her seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry that none other than James Potter, a.k.a. the king of arrogant, bullying toe rags, will be starring opposite he
1. Chapter One

_Life and love are life and love, a bunch of violets is a bunch of violets, and to drag in the idea of a point is to ruin everything. Live and let live, love and let love, flower and fade, and follow the natural curve, which flows on, pointless. _

_-D. H. Lawrence_

"Mum!"

Chrissie Evans turned around from her spot at the sink and raised her eyebrows as her youngest daughter came pelting into the kitchen. Her eyes were wild with excitement and her dark red hair was escaping its confines in the knot at the back of her head. Usually Lily was immaculate; Mrs. Evans was instantly curious to find out what it was that excited her so much to not pull her hair back properly. She looked down and spotted a thick, heavy piece of paper – parchment, really – clutched in her daughter's fist, and began to smile.

Lily waved the parchment in front of her face. "I did it! I'm it! I'm Head Girl!" she gasped.

"Oh, darling, that's wonderful!" Mrs. Evans exclaimed, face lighting. She pushed the letter aside and squeezed Lily tightly. "I'm so proud of you, darling! Dad's going to be terribly excited!" The truth was, Mrs. Evans had had a strong feeling Lily would be appointed Head Girl. It was the highest honor for a female student at Hogwarts, and she, along with the Head Boy, would be the voice of the students for the whole of the school year.

"And look! Look at my badge!" Lily cried, stepping out of her mother's embrace and opening her palm. A shiny gold badge proclaimed her title in bold letters.

"I've got to keep it on at all times – well, at least until everyone knows I'm Head Girl, you know – and I get to attend some faculty meetings and keep track of House points and preside over meetings with the prefects – oh, Mum, this is the best day of my life!"

Lily said all this very fast and in one breath, and while Mrs. Evans hugged her yet again, she had to process her words. "Meetings with faculty, eh? That's going to be quite interesting, I'd say."

"Can I call daddy?" Lily asked, looking at the phone on the counter eagerly.

"Of course, and we'll have to tell Petty. But, Lily – isn't there also supposed to be a Head Boy?"

Lily paused next to the telephone, her smile wilting slightly. "Yes, but it doesn't say who it is." She looked down at the much-wrinkled letter in her hand, rereading it, as if hoping to find the answer. But she didn't care very much so long as she knew who it _wouldn't_ be, and that was one of the Marauders. She told her mother as much, and Mrs. Evans smiled. She had heard much about the four boys who liked to terrorize the school with their pranks and practical jokes, and had ever since first year. Lily despised every one of them, even though one, Remus Lupin, had been made a prefect.

"But how do you know?"

Lily picked up the receiver and turned the dial. She cradled the phone in between her cheek and shoulder, and looked down at the papers again. "None of them make good enough grades," she said, shrugging as if it were obvious. "No, I have quite a good idea as to who it is – a Ravenclaw chap named Christopher Mi – Daddy!"

Mrs. Evans smiled, shaking her head, and turned back to washing out her paintbrushes in the sink, listening with one ear as Lily talked a mile a minute to her father. She stole a glance at her daughter. Her cheeks were flushed, and the huge smile was back in place. Mrs. Evans returned to the sink, some of the happiness ebbing out of her as it was replaced with concern for her daughter. Lily never smiled enough – it was always schoolwork, schoolwork, schoolwork, never enough time for anything else. She had friends – one of the girls in her dorm had been friends with her since they met on their first day six years ago. Lily smiled around Gwen Watson, but never as much as a seventeen-year-old should. Mrs. Evans was more grateful for the raven-haired witch than she could ever attempt to explain. If it weren't for Gwen, Lily would stay in her room or the library all day studying, and Mrs. Evans knew that-

"Mum, I'm going to Floo Gwen!" Lily called, flying out of the room. "Dad wants to speak to you!"

The receiver was lying on the counter, and Mrs. Evans picked it up with a slight sigh and a smile. "Hello, dear."

Lily tossed the green powder into the gas fireplace in the living room of her house. She called, "Number 300, Huckleberry Lane!" into the flames and promptly stuck her head in.

It was a lot like traveling by Floo Powder (in which case one would step completely into the fireplace and be transported completely to a destination, instead of just one's head): the dizziness, seeing all the other fireplaces on the network and glimpses of the rooms they were in. Luckily, it only lasted about ten seconds, and soon she was looking out into the very familiar front room in Gwen's large home. "Gwen! Are you at home?" she called, catching someone just passing by the doorway. It was Mrs. Watson, Gwen's mother, and she smiled warmly when she recognized Lily.

"Lily, darling! Gwen was just about to Floo you as well, I think. She wanted to know for sure if you've been named Head Girl. The Head Boy just got his letter today." She winked. Lily was about to ask about the Head Boy, but just then Gwen pushed past her mother and flung herself in front of the fire.

"Lils!" she squealed, her lovely face lighting up. She leaned in as close as she could. "Have you made it? Do you know yet?"

"Yes! I just found out this afternoon – I'm Head Girl, Gwen!"

"Aaaaah!" Gwen cried, wringing her hands in excitement as she always did. "I wish I could hug you – I knew it, I absolutely _knew_ you'd make it, your grades are alarmingly perfect, you know-"

Before she could continue babbling (which she often did for long periods of time), Lily cut her best friend off. "And your mum mentioned something about the Head Boy – it's Christopher Miller, isn't it?"

But the smile on Gwen's face was fading. She turned around to see if her mother was still in the doorway, and upon seeing her still there, she said, "Mum, do you have something you could be doing just now?"

Mrs. Watson rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Fine, fine, I can take a hint. Congratulations again, Lily. Perhaps you can come spend the night this weekend? I'd be glad to take you and Gwen to Diagon Alley on Saturday."

"Yes, yes, we'll sort it out later – good_bye_, Mother," Gwen said impatiently, turning her back on her. Mrs. Watson smiled and waved to Lily, who grinned back, and left the doorway. "Good, she's gone."

"Why did you want her gone?"

"Because she's friends with the Potters."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Gwen swallowed audibly and suddenly became very interested in the rug beneath her. She then said, in a voice so low Lily almost missed it, "Because James Potter is Head Boy."

Lily felt the blood drain out of her head, and she fought the urge to fall backwards onto the floor in her living room. "He's what?"

"Head Boy, Lily," Gwen said quietly, now meeting her eyes. "His grades were loads better than everyone else's, apparently. Even Christopher Miller's-"

The shock was suddenly gone, burned out by the irrepressible anger that welled up within Lily. "I'm going to kill him."

"Who, James? I don't think that's-"

"No, Dumbledore."

Gwen raised a shocked black eyebrow. "Erm. Well. Go right ahead, then, be my guest. I'll cry at your funeral."

Lily wasn't paying attention to her best friend at all. Her blood pressure was steadily rising; she could feel it. Her temper rarely got the best of her, but when it did, she couldn't control it at all. "How could he do such a thing? Make James Potter Head Boy! He's a lazy, inane, trouble-making, cocky, egotistical, immature bloody bastard!"

Gwen moved away from the ranting head in the fire with alacrity. "Lily? Breathe, okay? It's not going to be so bad."

Lily glared at her, her eyes smoldering. "Do you remember what he did to me in third year? How he embarrassed me? And then how he didn't even feel bad for it? And still he goes after me, expecting me to leap into his arms like everyone else? He thinks he's Jesus Christ, for God's sake! And I have to have weekly meetings with him! Forced to sit with him at prefect meetings! He's not going to let me get a word in edgewise!"

"Lily! Stop, okay? I know how you feel about James," Gwen reminded her forcefully. "I was there, remember?"

Lily swallowed hard. She looked down and breathed deeply. "I'm sorry," she muttered. "It's silly for me to let him upset me like this." _Get a grip on yourself, Evans! He's just a boy!_

"It's okay, Lils," Gwen said gently, her heart going out for her friend. "I just saw him today, that's how I know. We had lunch together with our families. Sirius was there too; you know, he lives with them now." The note of disgust in her tone with unmistakable.

Lily frowned and looked up, distracted for a moment. "Wait – literally?"

Gwen looked a bit uncomfortable. "Yeah, his parents tossed him out last year or something. But don't tell, okay? I don't know if anyone's supposed to know."

"That's – that's horrible," Lily said, wondering what had happened to make his parent's disown him. Probably blew up one too many cauldrons, she thought to herself, and didn't consider the matter again. "But so, what did James say?"

Gwen shrugged. She and James had an odd relationship – they weren't friends, but were very comfortable with each other as they had been forced to play together since before they could walk. James's parents and Gwen's parents had been friends at Hogwarts, and both families were very influential in the wizarding world. "Just that he got his letter in the mail today. He was wondering who the Head Girl was." Gwen was quite uncomfortable now, and Lily knew someone had said something about her – probably bad. She didn't want to know and suddenly had the strong urge to be alone.

"Oh. All right, well....I suppose I'll talk to Mum about going to Diagon Alley this weekend. Is that okay?"

Gwen was looking at her anxiously. "That's fine, but we could get together earlier, you know. Tonight, maybe? Mum and Dad are going to a party, but besides that, we're not doing anything...."

Lily managed a smile. "Gwen, I'm fine, really. I think Mum'll probably want to celebrate or something," she said vaguely. "My knees are starting to hurt, though – I'll talk to you later, all right?"

Gwen was still looking worried. "Well, if you're sure..."

"I'm positive. Bye, Gwen, I'll see you soon."

Gwen had scarcely said goodbye when Lily jerked her head out of the fireplace. She sat back to give a respite to her aching knees and stared at the now-normal fire. The flames were licking the fake log perfectly, as if their every move was being controlled by a machine. Or magic.

"Get a grip," she told herself firmly. "You're a Gryffindor, Lily, this is nothing." She resolved not to let James rule her life, that she wouldn't let him bother her. If he got into trouble, well, that was his deal. She wouldn't speak to him except when necessary, and everything would be fine.

That night, though, after she had been warmly congratulated and toasted at a family dinner by her parents (Petunia sat at the end of the table and sulked, as she was forced to attend the celebration) and then tucked into bed, her mind turned to darker things. Before she could stop it, she was reliving the day that had forever shaped her idea of James Potter...

"_Lily!"_

_Lily's head jerked up from her book when she heard her name called. She was angry at the noise level in the common room and trying to concentrate through the talk and laughter, so it didn't occur to her who had shouted for her. If she had known it was James Potter, she would have completely ignored him and returned to her book, because James had just asked her to go to Hogsmeade with him last weekend and she had turned him down. He had been angry, she knew, and she took some sort of perverse satisfaction in irking him, because he was a conceited troublemaker – not the sort Lily hung out with. But, as it was, she had mistaken his voice for that of Tommy King, a fifth year on whom she had a terrible crush, and she stood up, looking for him._

"_Lily!"_

_Her heart sank as the person called her name again and she recognized the voice. Knowing there was no way of avoiding it, she turned around slowly to face the corner where the "Marauders" were. Luckily, they weren't far from her chair, so she wouldn't have to shout across the common room. _

"_Yes?" she said warily. James was looking at her with a mocking, cold expression on his face, and she felt herself tense up. _

"_I heard you were hoping Tommy King would ask you to Hogsmeade," he said. Well, shouted, actually, so the whole common room could hear. The noise level slowly decreased, and people began to turn and whisper. Lily could feel her face heating up._

"_What?" she said, but it came out rather strangled. Her hands started to shake, and she couldn't take her eyes off of James Potter._

_Parts of the common room were still chattering away; James called out to the far right corner. "Tommy," he yelled, "we've got a girl here who wants to ask you to Hogsmeade!"_

_To Lily's complete and utter horror, Tommy King, who had been talking with his sixth-year friends in the corner, turned around, puzzled. He was seen more as a nerd and therefore was quite astonished to see that James Potter was the one calling his name. _

"_Go ahead, Lily," James said, laughing. Sirius Black, his best friend, was laughing as well._

"_Yeah, he's all ears!" he called, doubling over._

_Lily was frozen, the blood pounding uncomfortably in her face. She couldn't breathe. The common room was now completely silent; she was sure everyone could hear her heart thumping erratically. She then turned, getting one last glance of James and the Marauders, before pushing blindly through the crowd to the portrait hole. She was through quickly, but not quick enough to miss the titters that went up from the assembled students at the spectacle. _

_She ran through the halls blindly until her legs felt like they would fall off. She slowed to a walk and then slumped quite suddenly into the wall, overcome with sobs. She kept trying to get a hold on herself, but whenever she tried, a new wave of embarrassment washed over her, making her cry harder. She couldn't ever show her face in Gryffindor Tower again..._

_Then, one thought overrode all others with a sudden clarity that made her head throb: I HATE JAMES POTTER._

Lily smiled grimly to the ceiling. She had returned to Gryffindor Tower later that night – snuck in – and woke Gwen, who had been sleeping in a chair right next to the portrait. Gwen was stricken by the incident and hadn't known at all what to say, but by then Lily had resolved to act like it had never happened. It was easy to pretend because no one ever mentioned it to her face – and Lily did end up dating Tommy King (who was appointed Head Boy two years later) for quite a while.

She realized now that it was probably because she had injured James's pride by turning him down when he asked her to Hogsmeade that he had done that. But still, he had gone overboard. He hadn't ever apologized and Lily never expected him to. Her contempt for him only grew after that incident, and she would go red with anger whenever she saw him. Her temper flared to life especially when he took to abusing people for no apparent reason. She still felt that way.

She also resented him, though she wouldn't ever admit it. His grades really did pass everyone else's by a lot, if word was true, and yet Lily had never once seen him study. She, on the other hand, worked her tail off to make good grades – the only class that seemed to come easily to her was Charms, while James was a natural at everything.

Lily rolled over onto her side so she was facing the window. The lights from the street below filtered into her room in a slightly orange glow; she got up and shut the curtains. When she turned back to her bed, she found she didn't really want to get back in – her brain was too full. She sat at her desk in complete darkness and had a serious talk with herself. It was time to resolve her situation with James Potter once and for all.

It was simple – ignore him. Be the stronger and better person – make him work just as hard as she would have to. She decided that on the Hogwarts Express, when she would sit in the same compartment with him and all the prefects, she would politely and civilly ask to speak to him. She planned out exactly what she would say, and she would say it firmly and maturely. If he acted like a prat, then fine – he would be the one with his badge taken away, not her.

_Everything'll be fine, Lily_, she told herself as she climbed back into bed some time later. _You have to stand up to him and establish your power. If you handle this year like an adult, everything'll be just fine._

Easier said than done.

"I love you so much, darling!" Mrs. Evans cried for the hundredth time the day of Lily's return to Hogwarts, hugging her daughter tightly. "Remember that we are _so_ proud of you, all right?"

Lily smiled into her mother's shoulder. "I know, Mum." She pulled away and was hugged by her tall father, who reiterated once more their pride in their youngest daughter.

"I love you both," Lily said, stepping back and firmly gripping her wand. She was used to saying goodbye to them, but she always got a bit teary-eyed anyway. Christmas was a long way away, after all, and because of the circumstances, it seemed even farther now.

"And no more of those misconduct letters from the headmaster, all right?" Mr. Evans laughed to try to cover the sadness that Lily knew was there. She had to smile, though; her father had said that every year since her second year and still thought it was one of his best jokes.

"Okay, Dad," Lily promised, hugging him once more. She stepped back and waved, and then turned and headed towards the front of the train. She was glad for her strong father so she didn't have to put her trunk up in the luggage racks by herself. She wondered where Gwen was briefly, but as they had just spoken together the night before and promised to meet up in front of the carriages at school, she didn't seek her out. Lily paused before climbing all the way into the train, turned, and waved once more to her parents. They waved back and blew kisses, and she smiled and blew one of her own before disappearing inside.

And there it was – the prefects carriage. Lily had sat in it since she was in fifth year and it was very comfortable, but this year it took on a new meaning. She was in charge.

But so was James.

She cleared her throat and pushed open the door. It was loud and rambunctious as always, and she immediately scanned the crowd for her Ravenclaw friend, Lauren Stevens. They had sat together their first time in the prefects carriage and stuck together during the meetings; as a result, a strong friendship had forged. Lauren's brown face lit up when she saw Lily, and she motioned over to the seat she was saving. Lily smiled back at her friend, and they embraced when Lily got over to her.

"Lils! I'm so proud of you!" Lauren was crying, pushing her dark hair out of her face and beaming up at her after they released one another. She was very petit and had a slightly exotic look to her, with large brown eyes and very tanned skin. "I know you must have heard that a thousand times, but oh well!" she said. She leaned forward to have a look at the Head Girl badge Lily had pinned to her shirt. "Ooh, it's so pretty," she said reverently. "Lovely. I can't think of anyone else who deserves it more. And is it true that James Potter is Head Boy?"

Lily's heart sped up slightly. "Yes, he is," she said as calmly as she could manage.

Lauren looked at her shrewdly. While she herself had a crush on James and Sirius (like most of the females in the school), she knew very well Lily's outlook on the both of them. "And your feelings on that would be...?"

Lily shrugged. "I'm fine with it," she said, sitting down. "Really," she added, seeing the doubt on Lauren's small face.

"Ooohkaaay," Lauren said, still doubtful, but before Lily could say anything more the door opened and James Potter, looking taller than she remembered, walked into the carriage. He was instantly and loudly hailed by the side of the carriage where most of the Gryffindors were. He flashed a smile (which sent Lauren and other girls onto cloud nine) at them, but made no move to sit over there. His eyes were traveling over the room, plainly seeking someone out – Lily felt her stomach drop. She knew instinctively he was looking for her, and she concentrated on smoothing her pants out, pretending not to notice him. Next to her, Lauren sucked in her breath sharply.

"Oh! Lily, he's looking this way! He's coming!" she hissed, clutching Lily's arm.

Lily, suddenly embarrassed, wrenched her arm away and took a deep breath. She would face him head on.

He was making his way towards the two girls with little difficulty. Everyone parted like the Red Sea, probably whispering to their neighbors at how terribly handsome he was and how they _knew_ he would be Head Boy, but did anyone happen to know who the Head Girl was?

"Can I talk to you?" she asked, standing up, before he could say anything. She wasn't short, but James was rather tall; she had to tilt her head back slightly to see his face. He smiled mockingly.

"You're Head Girl, then? How _surprising_."

She stiffened, feeling her blood heat slightly. Be mature, Lily, she reminded herself. You're the adult. "Yes, I am," she said, as coolly as she could manage. "Can we please talk?"

"We are talking."

Lily clenched her jaw. "_Alone,_ if you please?" Without waiting for an answer, she sailed past him and made her way with slight difficulty through the scattered students. She sincerely hoped he was following her. She very nearly missed colliding with the witch who wheeled the food cart once she exited the carriage, and the witch said eagerly, "We'll be setting off in a moment, m'dear. You'd best take a seat."

Lily nodded and glanced behind her; James was right there, thankfully, shutting the carriage door. "Thank you," she said graciously, and the witch nodded, a white eyebrow raised, and left.

James leaned against the wall opposite, smirking. "Ladies first," he said, sarcasm tingeing his tone.

Her blood pressure was rising steadily. She counted backward slowly from ten, during which he looked at her as if she were a particularly nasty bug he wanted dearly to smash, and then she began when her voice was calm. "I would like to have a civil, productive talk about our duties this year."

James rolled his eyes. "Lovely. Talk away."

"I'd like to have your input as well, Potter," she snapped, his annoyance with her making her flush with embarrassment and anger. "We're going to have to communicate a lot this year, you know."

"You think I don't know that?" he asked contemptuously, fixing her with a disdainful look. "I got the letter too, in case you've forgotten-"

"Potter, just shut up for a moment, won't you?" she cried, frustrated at his obvious attempts to make her lose her nerve.

He arched an eyebrow. "Temper, Evans – you're the one that wanted to talk to me, not vice-versa."

They paused, glaring at each other, as the train's warning whistle sounded loudly from somewhere above them.

"I know," she said with as much dignity as she could muster when the sound was over, and she cleared her throat. But suddenly her mind seemed to go blank. Everything she was going to say either had left her brain completely or suddenly sounded extremely stupid.

"You're – well, we don't exactly get along," she finally got out. "You don't like me, and I don't like you," she stated, and swallowed, waiting for him to comment.

His disdain turned slightly bitter. "Watch it, Evans. You're the one that turned _me_ down when I asked you to Hogsmeade, remember?"

Lily's jaw dropped as her temper rose. "I turned you down because you're the most conceited boy in the school! You just wanted to go out with me so you could say you dated me!" she cried.

"What makes you think I didn't ask you because I _liked_ you?" he shot back, standing up straight from the wall so he had his full height advantage against her.

Lily could tell with no little surprise that she had touched a nerve. She gaped at him. "Because that's ridiculous," she spluttered. "You never liked me!"

"Oh, and I suppose you know my thoughts, then?" he said sardonically.

"You treat me like – like _dirt_ our whole time at school, and now you're telling me you had a crush on me and expect me to believe it? I'm not an idiot, Potter!"

"Just shut up, will you?" he groaned. "I don't particularly want to discuss this right now."

She swallowed and looked away, fighting to control her temper. "It doesn't matter," she muttered. "Never mind, forget I even talked to you." She turned around with the intent of reentering the carriage, but he stopped her.

"Evans.... What – what did you want to say?"

He sounded as though it was causing him pain to ask, but her temper was worn out for the time being, and she decided just to get it all out. She sighed and turned around to face him. "I was going to say that we shouldn't let the students think we're anything but friends, no matter how we really think about each other."

His face was impassive, but she could see a muscle moving in his jaw. "Much as it pains me to say it, Evans," he finally sighed, "you're right."

She gaped at him. _Whaaat?_

He opened his mouth to say something more but was interrupted when the whistle blew sharply and the Hogwarts Express came to a lurching start. Lily, not supported by anything, lost her balance and tipped forward. James caught her by the upper arm with his lightning-quick reflexes, and helped her to steady herself as the train chugged out of the station.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine," she said, trying to regain her dignity as she smoothed down her clothing. It took her perhaps ten seconds to realize that she was practically leaning against him – and then about five seconds more to realize she needed to step away.

She did so, flushing hotly, her eyes pinned on the floor. "Erm – yes, well, yes, I agree completely, yes-"

"Erm," he said, his voice a bit hoarse. Lily was startled into looking at him – dear Lord, was he blushing?

"Yes, okay then, that's settled, I'll just go-"

And, mortified beyond thinking, Lily backed away and grappled with the prefects carriage door when it opened on its own accord and she tripped backwards into –

Oh God. It was Remus Lupin, of course, one of James's best friends and a fellow prefect. He caught her, looking startled, and quickly she moved away. "Sorry, er, I was just trying to get by-"

Before he could say anything, she pushed past him into the carriage and slammed the door shut behind her, her face on fire. That did _not_ just happen. The prefects near the door were looking at her with barely suppressed giggles. She knew they were laughing about her running into Remus, but she wondered – had they heard the heated conversation between the Head Boy and Head Girl?

When she took her seat again, Lauren was intently reading this week's copy of Witch Weekly, a tabloid. "How did it go?" she asked, looking up from an article on more controversy surrounding the breakup of the extremely popular wizarding group The Ladybugs.

Lily shrugged, her face still hot. "Erm..."

"We could hear you yelling...." Lauren ventured hesitantly. "It, um – didn't sound good."

"You heard us?" Lily exclaimed in shock, turning to face her friend. "All of it?"

Lauren looked uncomfortable. "Well, not all of it, just the parts you yelled....Oh, Lils, I'm sorry!" she gasped as Lily closed her eyes in complete and utter horror. "We didn't mean to – I mean, that is-"

Lauren's voice was rising; Lily grabbed her wrist and hissed, "Hush, please!"

"Sorry," Lauren said, wincing. She watched silently as Lily fought to master herself. Finally, the redhead looked up; her face was still deathly pale, but her features were calm and serene.

"I'm sorry," she said coolly. "I shouldn't have got so upset. This isn't a big deal."

Lauren watched her warily. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Lily nodded. "I'm fine." She reached down into her small bag and drew out a thick book. "I got this book from Flourish and Blotts the other day," she said with feigned excitement. "It looks terribly interesting, all about the Eleventh Goblin War-"

As she rambled, Lily became aware of the carriage door opening and closing behind her. She knew without a doubt James and Remus had entered because very soon she heard raucous laughter from the crowd of Gryffindors and the unmistakable sound of James's low voice.

Lauren had just about dozed off by the time Lily was finished describing the book.

"Hmm! Yes, that sounds fascinating, Lily," Lauren lied, attempting conviction and failing miserably.

Lily deigned not to answer and opened the book to the correct page. She didn't think she would be able to read much, but soon she was sucked into the fascinating details of the war and lost all sense of everything around her – she didn't even get up when the trolley of food was wheeled around at the lunch hour. It was dark outside when Lauren spoke to her.

"Lily!"

Lily's head jerked up. She focused on her friend with some difficulty; her eyes were used to the tiny print on the page before her.

"I've only been trying to get your attention for ten minutes," she said, rolling her eyes and shaking her head with a smile. "Everybody's getting dressed."

Sure enough, all the prefects were busy changing into their standard black robes. Lily reached up to the luggage rack above her head and pulled her robes out easily; she always packed them closest to the top so she could easily access them on the train. As she slid them over her head, she relished the moment of being unseen. She told herself to breathe, that everything was going to be fine, and popped her head through the neck. She pinned her Head Girl badge onto the front of the robes and darted a glance over to where James was. He was busy fastening his own badge on and Lily had to suppress a smile of satisfaction – he didn't think he was too _cool_ to wear the badge.

She reached up into her trunk again and withdrew her pointy black hat. It was raining outside, and she was glad of the wide brim that would allow her to stay marginally dry-

"Evans?"

Lily whirled around from fixing her hat and saw James Potter looking at her with a guarded expression. "D'you think we should make a speech or something?"

Her mouth fell open in shock, not because he was proposing to make a speech (all Head Boys and Girls did that) but because he looked like he honestly wanted her opinion. "I'm not stopping you," she blurted, and he grinned.

"That's not a very attractive expression, you know."

Lily clamped her jaws together and scowled. She cursed her easy complexion.

"Shut up, Potter."

He raised an eyebrow, taunting her. "No need to snap, Evans."

"I'll make the speech," she said haughtily, stepping in front of him. "Excuse me!" she said to the loud, boisterous carriage. No one turned around. "Excuse me!" she said, this time a bit louder. A few people nearby turned around, but then turned back again to whomever they were chatting with. Lily made a frustrated noise.

"Step aside, Evans," Potter said in her ear. Before she could say something back, he turned to the loud carriage and raised a hand slightly. Predictably, the room hushed right away. Lily scowled and resisted the urge to slap the smug smile he directed at her off his face.

"Right, you lot. I'm Head Boy, in case you hadn't noticed-" (here there were loud shouts and cheering) "- and the lovely Lily Evans is Head Girl -" (half-hearted cheering) "- and we figure we should go ahead and talk to you before we get back to school. First off – everyone needs to remember that pushing the first years into the lake is entirely acceptable and encouraged by all-"

"Potter!" Lily hissed, kicking him, her temper flaring. The entire room had erupted into laughter. "_Excuse me!_" she yelled to the prefects, and everyone was startled into listening to her. "Thank you," she said calmly when the noise had died down. "You all know that pushing first years into the lake is entirely _un_acceptable." She glared venomously at James before turning back to the students. "You returning prefects know the drill on the platform, but for the new prefects, please direct all students to the waiting carriages. Once inside the castle, make sure everyone is seated and behaved at their respective tables. We'll be having our first prefect meeting sometime during the month and so please keep an eye out on your House bulletin board." Lily paused, surveying the quiet room with piercing eyes that made no one doubt her authority before turning to James. "Do you have anything _mature_ to add?"'

"Yes," James said, straight-faced, "beware of fire hydrants."

The room burst into laughter again, but this time it was confused laughter – half the room had no idea what a fire hydrant was, and those that did (like Lily) were just as mystified as everyone else. Lily turned to James. "What did you say?" she demanded.

He shrugged secretively. "You'll have to wait and see like everyone else, Evans."

Oh, she did.

As everyone left the Great Hall that night after the Welcoming Feast, the first years going first and being led by their prefects, they were doused – _soaked_ – by water coming from small, odd-looking devices that none but the Muggle-born children had ever seen before.

Fire hydrants.

Lily, Gwen, and the two other seventh-year Gryffindor girls were just exiting the Hall when the hydrants were activated. It was chaos in the entrance hall as everyone scrambled to get away from the blasts of water, most taking refuge at the top of the huge marble staircase.

Professor McGonagall, Head of Gryffindor House and Transfiguration teacher, looked truly frightening as she surveyed the mess after the hydrants had been stopped, as did Head of Slytherin House Professor Kiser and the ill-tempered caretaker, Argus Filch. On the other hand, the Headmaster, Dumbledore, looked as though he was badly trying not to laugh, and the rest of the faculty was in similar states – laughter or extreme anger, depending on their temperament. All were standing in thigh-deep water, which was quickly filtering down into the dungeons below. Dumbledore waded out into the middle of the room and looked up at the students, eyes twinkling madly, as if searching for someone.

James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew were nowhere to be seen.

He turned back to the problem at hand and raised his wand. A hulking shape materialized, and some of the students laughed when they realized what it was – a giant sponge. The sponge, with help from Dumbledore, absorbed all the water in the hall and then was guided gently down into the basement. Dumbledore followed it down, as did many of the teachers. Professor McGonagall turned to the students, her mouth compressed. "To your common rooms!" she barked. "Slytherin and Hufflepuff Houses, wait here until the Headmaster returns!"

Lily watched as each House separated and went its own way. The Slytherins and Hufflepuffs remained at the stairs, the Ravenclaws went off to the right, and the Gryffindors continued climbing the stairs, all soaking wet and tripping on the water from their robes and shoes.

Lily was one extremely upset girl, as were Gwen and the two other Gryffindor witches of their year, Dorcas Meadowes and Mary Katherine Wampler. All four were slipping and sliding since they had decided to head up at the back of the Gryffindors (and therefore had the water from themselves and the other two hundred or so Gryffindors to deal with), and all four were muttering curses under their breaths towards the Marauders. They had long since fallen behind the rest of their House.

"I mean, really!" Mary Katherine burst after Gwen saved her from falling down the stairs for the umpteenth time. "It used to be funny, but they've gone too far this time!"

Gwen merely scowled, no doubt thinking, like Lily, of what they would do to James and Co. if they got their hands on them. "Immature bastards!" Dorcas yelled with no little frustration, clutching the banister for dear life.

"Why, thank you, my dear," someone said from behind them. The girls made similar sounds of surprise and whirled around. The four Marauders were standing at the foot of the stairs, looking smug and as dry as autumn leaves.

"I'm going to murder you!" Gwen burst, making her way with some difficulty down the stairs. Lily caught her wrist and stopped her, not taking her eyes off James Potter.

"Don't bother, Gwen," she said, "they're not worth it. All they want is attention, and we're certainly not going to give it to them."

Dorcas and Mary Katherine, who had discovered very early on the stupidity of dating a Marauder, made noises of agreement and turned to continue up the stairs. Gwen hesitated, still looking as if she dearly wished to squeeze Sirius Black's neck until his eyes popped out, but she turned almost regretfully and headed back up the stairs when Lily tugged on her wrist again.

"That's harsh, Evans," Potter called, but she ignored him. Her blood was boiling, and she wanted revenge.

She didn't speak again until she and Gwen had caught up with Dorcas and Mary Katherine at the landing. They turned around and looked down at the laughing and joking Marauders, and Lily made up her mind. "Come on," she said loudly, and started up the next flight of stairs on their extreme right. She positioned herself close to the banister and stopped when they were above the four laughing boys and turned to her friends.

"Oh, Lily, we're not really going to...." Mary Katherine trailed off when she saw Lily's vengeful face. Gwen grinned evilly and said, "I love you, Lily. Let's go."

All four lined up and positioned their wands on the boys. Lily called, "Hey Potter!"

All of them looked up, and all looked at the wands with dawning horror. Potter dove aside just as Lily cried, "Now!" and the four girls shouted, "_Aquatius!_"

Water burst from their wands and the boys, in their hurry to escape, slipped and fell in the water that was already there. By the time Lily murmured "Finite Incantatem," they had got up and slipped multiple times and were completely soaked. The girls were helplessly gasping in hilarity as they made their way hastily up the stairs in case the Marauders tried a retaliatory attack, but they made it to the seventh floor without incident, stomachs hurting from laughter.

"Prongs?"

"What?"

"I think we've been bested by a group of girls."

James wiped his hair out of his eyes and glared at his best friend. "D'you think I haven't realized that, Sirius?"

Remus was on the step below them, red in the face from suppressed mirth. When Sirius glared at him, he couldn't help it and burst into loud, ringing laughter. James felt a smile tugging at his mouth despite himself, and so he looked away, which was a mistake. Peter was lying on the floor at the foot of the stairs, motionless and groaning, and James couldn't handle it anymore – he burst out laughing as well. Sirius glared even more.

"Come off it, mate," James said, gasping, "you've got to admit it's funny." He gestured to Peter and then erupted back into helpless amusement.

Sirius looked down at Peter for a moment and then back to his two other best friends. A reluctant grin cracked his face. "I'll laugh about revenge," he declared, and joined in the merriment louder than anyone.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Lily couldn't help but be in bright spirits the next morning, despite the dreary day and the fact that it was Monday. She still remembered the looks on the Marauders' faces from the night before. ... It was a sight she would carry with her to the grave.

Her fellow female seventh years seemed to be of the same mentality. The four practically skipped down to breakfast together and sat down like they always did – Lily and Gwen side by side and Dorcas and Mary Katherine directly across from them towards the end of the long House table. Lily helped herself to a healthy helping of bacon and eggs and watched the Great Hall fill around them as she ate. The other three girls were discussing the new robe shop that had just opened in Hogsmeade.

"I still want to go see," Dorcas was saying stubbornly, taking a gulp of pumpkin juice. "It could be cool, Gwen."

"Nothing beats Madame Malkin's," Gwen argued. "And it's relatively new, it opened in – what, third year?"

"Second year," Mary Katherine corrected, neatly wiping her mouth. "Be open-minded, Gwen. This shop could be cool too-"

Just then, there was a loud rustling from above and the owls swarmed in, carrying packages and letters from home to the students. Lily was surprised to see an owl land in front of her – she hadn't expected her parents to write that quickly – but a glance at the envelope, which was heavy parchment as opposed to the flimsy paper her Muggle parents used, told her it wasn't from them. She opened the envelope and a short note fell out.

_Miss Evans,_

_Thank you for your very decorous and prudent conduct at the unseemly show last night. I have scheduled a meeting for you and Mr. Potter tonight in hopes of catching the culprit. Be in my office at eight, if you please._

_Professor McGonagall_

Lily laughed outright and passed the letter to Gwen. She leaned towards her curious friends and whispered, "She's going to corner Potter."

They read the note and all grinned evilly. "I'd like to see him squirm his way out of that one," Dorcas said in satisfaction, handing it back to Lily.

"Timetables! Here are your timetables – Mr. Potter, some assistance, if you please?"

Lily looked down to her right and saw Professor McGonagall bustling along with stacks of parchment in her hands, prodding James Potter on the shoulder. She stood up, feeling a bit embarrassed; she had always come down early and helped Professor McGonagall pass out timetables on the first day. What had she been thinking?

She hurried down to where the Professor was and apologized. "Oh, quite all right, Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall said dismissively, handing a heavy stack to Lily. James was on her other side, waiting expectantly for his own share of papers. Professor McGonagall stopped and lowered her voice.

"I trust you both received my note?"

Lily nodded primly, her eyes fixed, challenging, on James's. His own dark eyes flicked briefly down to McGonagall's but returned almost instantly to Lily.

"I have," he said mildly, but his own eyes held a bit of a challenge as well – he was prompting her to accuse him without evidence.

Professor McGonagall glanced sharply between the two students on either side of her. The tension between the two star pupils was almost palpable. She shook her head.

"Very well, I expect to see both of you there and on time," she said, before hurrying off with the timetables.

James arched a brow, a mocking smile playing around his lips. "See you there," he said, bumping into Lily as he passed.

"Can't wait," she muttered, rolling her eyes.

Lily's day went very well, despite the feeling of dread that rumbled in her stomach whenever she thought of the meeting with Professor McGonagall. Because she was a seventh year and knew what she wanted to be (a St. Mungo's Healer), she only took classes she would need and therefore liked. While she was a fan of history, the ghost Professor Binns made it so monotonous and boring that even she fell asleep a few times. Luckily, being a Healer didn't require knowledge of history. Potions, Herbology, Charms, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Arithmancy were the classes she took. Arithmancy was the only class she took that she wouldn't actually need to become a Healer; she had always been excellent at Muggle math and wanted to continue in it. She enjoyed them all immensely – well, except Defense, but that was only because it was James's favorite class and so he got everything instantly right because he paid attention in it. He seemed to perform the complicated spells effortlessly, and proudly would tell anyone who would listen (i.e., everyone) that he wanted to follow in his famous father's footsteps and become an Auror.

It all made Lily rather nauseous. Arithmancy was the worst because they were the only Gryffindors in that class. Luckily, Lily's Ravenclaw friend Lauren was in it, so they usually ended up sitting together in the front, while James was silent in the back with a few Ravenclaws that tried to be his friends.

When school ended, Lily went to the library, as was her custom, and worked on her homework until dinner while it was still fresh in her mind. She then carried her heavy bag to the Great Hall, where she met her friends and enjoyed a happy meal. The four girls walked back up to Gryffindor Tower without incident (thankfully) and Lily did more of her homework while they gossiped.

Seven forty-five arrived entirely too soon.

Lily looked at her wristwatch regretfully and stood, stretching. The common room was quiet and full of busily working students of all ages (though James wasn't among them, she saw), and Lily waved goodbye to her friends and tiptoed out the portrait hole, not wanting to disturb anyone.

She walked briskly down stairs and through long corridors, finally coming to a stop at Professor McGonagall's office. She knocked on the door and was summoned inside. As she expected, James wasn't there, and she had to suppress a smug smile when McGonagall looked up from her desk and smiled approvingly at her. "Right on time, Miss Evans."

Lily walked fully into the room and sat down in one of the uncomfortable, high-backed chairs, taking McGonagall's polite offer of tea. They passed the minutes idly chatting, but when the clock chimed the half hour, Professor McGonagall started to become irritated.

"Well, Miss Evans," she said, her lips pursed, "thank you at least for coming. I shall have a word with the Headmaster about this, make no mistake-"

A loud knocking interrupted Professor McGonagall. Her lips pursed even tighter, and she called, "Come in."

It was James, looking completely windblown and out-of breath. "S-sorry, Professor," he gasped, coming all the way into the room and closing the door. "Quidditch meeting..."

Professor McGonagall softened slightly, and Lily stared at the two of them. No, surely not – McGonagall didn't buy that complete and obvious lie, did she?

"Well, Mr. Potter," she said, her tone much warmer than it should have been, "please be sure in the future not to schedule team meetings when you have one with me, yes?"

James shot a heart-breaking smile at her. "It won't happen again, Professor," he said and took the chair next to Lily.

Lily was clutching the arms of her chair so tightly her knuckles were turning white. _What the hell just happened? If I had come in thirty minutes late, McGonagall would have fried me and taken my badge away! But all darling Mr. Potter gets is a warm rebuke?!_

James winked at Lily smugly before turning to McGonagall. "I've been doing a lot of thinking about the incident last night, Professor," he said, completely solemn.

McGonagall's face was impassive, a look Lily recognized. She relaxed her grip on the arms of her chair slightly; McGonagall looked as if she knew exactly who had committed the "incident" last night. "_Have_ you, Mr. Potter? I'll be very pleased to hear your thoughts."

"Yes, James, so will I," Lily chimed in sweetly.

James didn't even glance at her. "I did it," he said straight out.

Lily's jaw dropped. What? He wasn't supposed to tell the truth! He was supposed to lie about it and get his badge taken away!

"Well, _we_ did," he amended, shrugging. Everyone knew who "we" was.

McGonagall was flabbergasted for a moment but quickly regained her dignity. "I thought as much," she said, her lips pursed. "Mr. Potter, we have been over this countless times. You will serve a month's detention, along with Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, and Mr. Pettigrew." She stared at him for a moment, as if trying to decipher his calm and collected exterior. "I had rather hoped becoming Head Boy would mean more to you than silly childish pranks. If it happens again, Mr. Potter, rest assured I will ask the Headmaster to seriously consider revoking the privilege."

James nodded respectfully. "I understand completely, Professor."

"Aren't you going to apologize or anything, Potter?" Lily snapped, unable to believe his audacity. "You could have caused a serious accident! Not to mention the extra work for Professor Dumbledore and Mr. Filch!"

He looked at her, pushing the glasses up farther on his nose, not rattled at all. "But we didn't, did we?"

"But you could have!"

"Why waste time thinking of 'could haves,' Evans?"

"Because you should have given it more thought, Potter! What's your problem? Why doesn't anything seem to matter to you – even the highest position that can be awarded to a student?"

"You know what your problem is, Evans? You don't have a sense of humor at all! The only reason you're not walking around depressed all the time is because of-"

"Oh, don't even say that! You know perfectly well I have a sense of humor! Forgive me if I don't think it's hilarious to soak the entire student body and the entrance hall with fire hydrants! That sounds more immature to me than anything!"

"Immature?! And your little stunt afterwards was mature then, I suppose?!"

"That doesn't have anything to do with anything, you inconsiderate, childish, bast-"

"You are nothing but a heartless, cold, bit-"

"POTTER! EVANS! THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH!" Professor McGonagall roared, standing up in her chair and slamming a hand down on her desk, face white with fury. "YOU WILL BEHAVE CIVILLY TO EACH OTHER, BY HEAVEN, AND IF YOU DON'T, I'LL REVOKE BOTH OF YOUR DUTIES!"

Lily clenched her jaw and faced straight ahead, breathing heavily. _Damn_ him!

"This is a problem that should be resolved immediately, before it becomes even larger!" Professor McGonagall continued, hitting her desk again. "The Head Boy and Girl are united roles – you cannot have one without the other! If there is a conflict between the two, it must be overcome. You cannot successfully do your duties if you are at odds with each other all the time!" She paused, glaring at both of them, letting her words soak in. When she spoke again many minutes later, it was in a somewhat more controlled voice. She sat back down. "You do not have to like one another, but you must be able to bear each other, and for heaven's sake, if you must argue, do so in private. Now, apologize."

Lily swallowed, still staring straight ahead. No way was she going to speak first.

"Mr. Potter, you first."

Lily heard James take a deep breath, and for one long moment, she feared he wasn't going to say anything – until he cleared his throat and said in a steady, low voice, "I'm sorry."

McGonagall turned her sharp eyes on Lily. "Go ahead, Miss Evans."

Lily cleared her throat as well and murmured, "I'm sorry," quietly to the floor at her feet.

"Now, you both must conduct weekly meetings to discuss the state of the school. You will have a monthly scheduled meeting with myself – but the meeting isn't only about the students, it is also about the relationship between the two of you, how well you are working together. And that report will _always _be satisfactory, won't it?" Her question held an unmistakable warning.

Lily nodded, getting her bearings. _Breathe, Lily._

"Since I don't believe you two will speak to one another freely to set up your weekly meetings, I'll do it for you. Meet in the library every Wednesday night at eight o'clock, regardless, Mr. Potter, of Quidditch or whatever else might arise. Understood?"

"Yes, Professor," Lily said quietly as James muttered other words of agreement. McGonagall glared at them for a moment longer before waving her hand at the door. "You may go," she said, still stern. Lily got up and passed in front of James, taking care not to touch him at all, as McGonagall said, "Potter – Professor Kiser will be in touch with you about your detention."

"Of course, Professor," James said. "Goodnight." He closed the door behind himself and, without even a glance at Lily, walked away in the opposite direction of Gryffindor Tower. Lily scowled at his retreating back for a moment before turning and going her own way.

The week passed, thankfully without incident. Lily took ten points away from Ravenclaw because a third year was showing a spell he had learned to a group of friends in the hallways which was, of course, forbidden. She wore her badge proudly everyday and was secretly pleased when people looked at her with awe and respect.

Lily arrived in the library early (as was her custom) on Wednesday and grabbed a table in the middle of the room where James would be sure to see her. She positioned herself so she could see the door clearly; she wanted to be on guard when he came in. She always hated it when he caught her vulnerable – she never could think of anything sharp to say back to him and often her temper got the best of her anyway-

"Evening, Evans."

Lily jumped a foot in her chair, barely suppressing a shriek of surprise as James Potter came up behind her. _How does he _do_ that?_ she wondered angrily to herself as he sat down across from her, carrying an armful of books.

"Glad you decided to make it, Potter," she said huffily, trying to read the titles of the books. James noticed her attempts and turned the spines towards his chest. He half-smiled, his eyes mocking.

"I'm hurt, Evans," he said and leaned back in the chair, stretching. "So, which students have you marked this week?"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Marked?"

"You know, put on your list," he elaborated. When Lily still looked perplexed, he sighed in mock impatience. "Honestly, Evans, everyone knows you've got it in for a couple of 'troublemakers.'"

"I do not!" Lily said hotly, leaning forward.

The librarian, Madam Porter, looked at her sharply. "Shhhh!" she said in rebuke, pressing a scarlet-nailed finger to her lips.

"You can't help provoking me, can you?" Lily hissed menacingly, sitting back again, folding her arms over her chest. What the bloody hell was he talking about? She didn't have a _list!_ Sure, there were a few students who were troublemakers that she always took care to watch closely, but it wasn't as if she had a _list_ or anything!

"I've only taken ten points this week, and that was because that third year Kennan was doing magic in the corridor."

He shrugged. "I took fifty from Slytherin."

Lily's jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"

He pushed a wrinkled piece of parchment to her across the table, and she unfolded it. His spiked handwriting, which she could read with a bit of difficulty, said:

_Severus Snape: -10 for being greasy_

_ -10 for having a big nose _

_ -10 for having a nasty attitude_

_Rodolphus Lestrange:_

_ -10 for being friends with Snape_

_Jarvis Nott:_

_-10 for being friends with Lestrange, who, in turn, is friends with Snape _

"It built up over the week," James said casually in reply to her dumbstruck look.

Lily shook her head in disbelief. "How can such a complete idiot make such good grades? McGonagall will never accept this, and I won't even discuss it," she said, pushing away from the table and standing up. "Tell me when you decide to grow up, Potter!"

"Hi, Lily."

Lily turned around and smiled at Christopher Miller, the good-looking Ravenclaw who should have been Head Boy (well, in her opinion, at least). He was smiling at her a bit shyly and gestured to the chair beside her.

"May I sit?"

"Oh, of course, Christopher!" Lily exclaimed, moving her books over so he could put his own down on the table. He slid into the chair and smiled rather grimly at her.

"Homework?"

Lily returned his grim smile. "Yes. Stupid Potions, actually ... I just can't seem to get that Nutrition Concoction," she said, letting a bit of her frustration enter her tone. She'd been trying for the past two hours to figure out the missing ingredient to the potion Professor Lektor had assigned. He was a jolly old man and enjoyed forcing his students to think as much as possible by setting up "games" – missing ingredients, wrong ingredients, etc – in his assignments, and if you solved the game and correctly brewed the potion, you got full marks. If you failed to solve it and brewed the potion wrongly, more than likely you would be failed. The missing ingredient in the Nutrition Concoction, which she would be brewing tomorrow (correctly or incorrectly), was the hardest Lily had yet come across.

Christopher smiled mysteriously. "It took me a while, but I got it. It's right there, I promise. But look, I'll help you with the potion if you'll give me a hand with the Transfiguration homework..."

"Deal," Lily said, smiling a bit bitterly. Oh, if only....Christopher was such a _nice_ bloke, so sweet and kind and smart and caring....No way would he try to replace your quill with one that spurted out disgusting green goo if you bit it.... Lily shuddered at the memory as she half listened to Christopher. Just last week during their second prefect meeting, a certain Head Boy had switched her normal quill with the joke one, and as Lily had been writing down ideas for changing the prefects' bathroom password (as some mischievous younger students had figured it out the other week), she had bitten down thoughtfully on the end of the quill – and been covered in nasty, smelly green slime. The prefects had erupted into laughter; however, it was quickly stifled when they saw Lily's murderous look, heightened, she supposed, by the alarming goo. She had yelled at James in front of them all and Professor Kiser, the ill-tempered Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, had just happened to be passing by and had been only too glad to march both James and Lily to McGonagall's office. McGonagall had not been amused.

"Lily?"

Lily's eyes abruptly refocused. Christopher Miller's face was close – almost too close – and he was staring at her with amused curiosity. Lily blushed faintly and scooted away from him as discreetly as possible. "Sorry, yes, please go on."

"You haven't been listening to a word I've said, have you?" A smile glimmered about his mouth. Lily blushed a little more and grinned apologetically.

"Sorry ... I've been a bit preoccupied lately, I'm afraid," she explained, shrugging slightly. He moved a bit closer, though Lily couldn't tell if it was on purpose or not. She decided not to move away.

"With Potter, am I right?"

Lily was surprised, but her astonishment quickly gave way to apprehension. "Oh, no, it isn't obvious we're not getting along, is it?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Are you kidding?" Her face must have answered that question, and he continued, still looking taken aback. "You speak to each other in single syllables, he squirts you in the face with goo and humiliates you, and if I'm not mistaken, I could have sworn I saw you attempt to trip him in the corridor the other day after Charms...?"

Lily blushed horribly at that. Christ, she hadn't thought anyone had seen.... She tried to quickly regain most of her composure. "We just aren't very close, that's all."

"You'd make a terrific diplomat," Christopher grinned. He really was quite handsome, Lily thought absently. Wonderful smile. "But a horrendous actress."

Lily jerked back as her mouth dropped open in astonishment. "Pardon?"

He held his hands up and shrugged. "Just being honest."

Lily closed her mouth, a reluctant smile forming on her lips. "Thanks," she said dryly.

"So tell me about it," Christopher said, looking at her earnestly. "Why you don't get along and all that."

Lily frowned, thinking. She really shouldn't tell anyone (well, besides Gwen) about her real relationship with James, but if it was as obvious as Christopher said, surely it couldn't do any harm? Plus, he looked like he honestly didn't mind hearing her problems....

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Christopher, but I really shouldn't...."

He shrugged good-naturedly. "It's no problem; I just thought you'd want to tell someone about it."

She hesitated and thankfully Christopher didn't press anymore. "Well, maybe some other time," he said with a wink. "Now, onto that charm...."

That proved to be only the beginning of Christopher Miller in Lily's life. She kept running into him in odd places, but they always had much to talk about. It didn't come as much of a surprise when he asked her to Hogsmeade over Halloween weekend.

They were sitting in the library again, discussing the new spell they had learned in Defense Against the Dark Arts that day, when Christopher leaned over to her and said solemnly, "I have a very important question to ask."

Lily fought the urge to giggle. "Yes?"

"Will you, Lily Evans, go with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?"

She had giggled then. "I'd love to, Christopher."

They had talked a bit more, this time more intimately, until Christopher reluctantly bade her goodbye and said he had to go to a little Ravenclaw Quidditch team meeting in his common room.

Lily sat at the table for a moment after he left, feeling ridiculously happy despite the fact that the Marauders traditionally pulled a huge prank on Halloween, and was about to get up when, lo and behold, James Potter plopped himself down opposite her.

"He's a cad," he said.

Lily stared at him, her blood heating already. She knew who he was talking about, of course, but wanted to hear him say it.

"Who?" she demanded icily.

"Your Ravenclaw chap," James said, jerking his head in the direction of the library doors. He was looking at her with a very peculiar expression on his face that made her feel more than slightly uncomfortable.

"I don't see why it's any of your business, Potter," Lily said haughtily, gathering her books up into a neat stack. The truth was, though, that she was a bit curious as to why Potter felt that way. She met his eyes again levelly; he was still staring at her with that guarded, odd expression.

"Why?" she asked, but cursed herself the minute the question popped out of her lips as James's expression transformed into cruel condescension.

"Think about it, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes. Stupid bastard. She collected her books and exited the library, waving absentmindedly to her friend Lauren as she went. Even though she certainly didn't believe him, a traitorous part of her brain was wondering: what did Potter mean?

The next day, Saturday, dawned clear and lovely. It was surprisingly warm for October, so Lily opted not to wear her scarf as she had originally planned. After a beaming breakfast with her girlfriends, she went out into the entrance hall to search for Christopher.

"Lily!"

Lily spun; there he was, sandy hair glinting in the sunlight that was streaming in from the open doors where the students were making their way down to the little town of Hogsmeade.

"Hi!" she said as he made his way through the crowd. He smiled.

"Ready to go?"

"Yep," she said, smiling back. He put his hand on her lower back and proceeded to push her towards the big doors. Lily was taken aback at first – she didn't like the idea of being steered very much – but then decided that it was probably just a reflex or something and she wouldn't say anything about it.

However, three hours later, it really began to irritate her.

She gritted her teeth as he steered her into the Three Broomsticks pub, steered her to a table, and ordered two Butterbeers – which was what she wanted, actually, but he hadn't even asked.

"Wait, please," she said to the young woman in very high, sparkly heels who had taken their order, "I'd actually like some iced pumpkin juice, if you please." The woman's eyebrows lifted in surprise, but she nodded; smiled, teeth gleaming; and quickly clacked away.

Christopher frowned at her. "I thought Butterbeer was your favorite?"

Bloody hell, when had she told him that?

"It is, but I'm in the mood for pumpkin juice," Lily said as placidly as she could. Christopher nodded and smiled, and took her cloak as she moved to hang in on the stand nearby. She very nearly hit him. She was beginning to feel like he very much liked being in control.

The door to the pub, which Lily was directly across from and Christopher had his back to, opened, and Gwen, Dorcas, and Mary Katherine entered. They scanned the pub and their eyes instantly came to rest on Lily. They grinned madly and Gwen waggled her eyebrows; Lily tried to send an S.O.S. as inconspicuously as she could with her eyes, but to no avail. Her three friends took a table in the back of the room, their heads barely visible through the crowd of bar patrons.

"Are you all right, Lily?" Christopher asked, startling her back into looking at him. He looked very sincere, and Lily suddenly felt bad for wanting to abandon him. She smiled as kindheartedly as she could and shook her head.

"I'm fine," she said. "I just spotted some of my friends."

"You're friends with Gwen Watson, aren't you?" he said casually, though his eyes told a different story. Lily was instantly on her guard.

"Yes," she said warily.

He noticed her apprehension and smiled benevolently. "Ah, well, it isn't fair to judge one by one's friends, I suppose."

Her feeling of wariness increased. "And what do you mean by that?" she asked politely.

"Isn't she friends with James Potter and that crowd?" he asked, watching her closely.

Lily nodded slowly. "Yes, she is."

"Does it not bother you," he asked curiously, "to have her friends with your enemy?"

Lily bristled. "James isn't my enemy," she said, frowning at him. Maybe he wasn't as smart as she thought. Couldn't he see he was treading on dangerous ground?

"Lily dear, I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, that the definition of 'enemy' is one who dislikes you and you dislike back."

"Well, yes, but-"

"Then why are we arguing?" he interrupted gently. "James is your enemy, you're his, everyone's happy. Smile for me, now."

"James is not my enemy," she repeated firmly.

"You hate him, you told me that yourself," Christopher pointed out.

"I did no such thing!" Lily burst out. She lowered her voice as people around them turned to stare curiously at them. "I didn't say that. James may get on my nerves, but I don't _hate_ him."

"He's an immature fool," Christopher said intently, as though baiting her.

"_You're_ a bloody immature fool!" she exclaimed. "Taking me in here and treating me as if I was your damn girlfriend! I'm not, and never will be!"

She stood and reached for her cloak, face on fire, partly with anger and partly with embarrassment – she had forgotten to lower her voice again – intent on making her exit, but Christopher stood and placed his hand on her arm.

"Come now, Lily, don't you think you're overreacting? I didn't mean to offend you," he said, still smiling in an annoying, pacifying way.

"No, of course you didn't," Lily said with such sincerity that he looked honestly confused for a moment at her emotions. "You didn't at all, dear Christopher, but I'm feeling a bit nauseous quite suddenly; I don't want to be sick over your beautiful robes, now do I?"

Before he could say anything, she was out the door and strode purposefully back to the castle, so angry she could hardly see straight. How dare he? He and his stupid male condescension! Wasn't there any boy out there that could see past his own bloody ego?

The following Monday morning Lily received a very odd owl at breakfast. It was simply a piece of folded parchment tied to a school owl, which took off as soon as she untied the note. She curiously opened it and read, in the slightly familiar, untidy handwriting,

_Thanks for sticking up for me on Saturday._

_-JP_

_P.S. Your friend Lauren's on the Quidditch team, by the way. Think about it, Evans._

Lily stared down the House table. James Potter was with his usual crowd at the far end, acting his usual, arrogant self....She looked back at the note. What in the name of Winston Churchill did he mean by saying her friend Lauren was on the Quidditch team? Of course she was on the Quidditch team – Lily certainly knew that! A superb Beater, Lauren was, along with stupid Christopher Miller....

And then it hit her.

"Lils? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, you look like you've just walked through a ghost."

Her friends were staring at her in concern. She shook her head and looked back down at the letter, feeling slightly numb. Christopher had said he was late to a Ravenclaw Quidditch meeting as he left her in the library on Friday afternoon, but Lauren and her friend Joshua Banks, who was a Chaser on the team, hadn't looked like they were going to any meeting as she had passed by them and waved....

_They could have forgotten_, Lily told herself, even though she didn't believe that for more than a second.

_It doesn't mean he was cheating on you_,_ Lily_, she told herself very firmly. _Stop jumping to conclusions._

No, it didn't mean he had been cheating on her, but it didn't stop her from cursing him violently in her mind.


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Even though James had shown an odd compassion towards her by writing her the note, it changed nothing between them. They were still at each other's throats publicly and privately, and it got them in trouble a few more times. The Christmas holidays came as a complete and utter relief to Lily. She was already studying for her life-deciding N.E.W.T.'s, which were a set of examinations taken by the seventh years in the spring, and she was determined to do well, even though she was exhausting herself in the process. A Healer needed top grades.

Her parents greeted her at King's Cross with big hugs and warm smiles, all of which she accepted gladly. She bade goodbye to Dorcas and Mary Katherine, told Gwen she would see her in the next day or so, and was off, back home.

Christmas had always been her favorite time of the year. Everything smelled like gingerbread all the time as her mother baked cookies and pieces of houses. Lily and Petunia teamed up with their parents every year and "competed" for the best gingerbread house – or, at least, they had. Petunia had made excuses to miss the party ever since Lily's third year, when Petunia had left college and moved out to go to university. Now she that she was engaged, the excuse to miss the celebration was easy and resignedly accepted by the three remaining family members. Petunia hated Lily, plain and simple, and there was nothing anyone could do about it anymore.

And so, this year, as it had been for the past four, Lily made her own big gingerbread house and set it up proudly on display. Her maternal grandmother (and her only surviving grandparent) joined them for Christmas Eve dinner and the eating of the gingerbread house afterwards.

Lily loved talking to her grandmother. Grandmummy, as she was known, was a sprightly old woman with Lily's sparkling, large green eyes and a delicate build. Her hair had been a most startling red when she was younger, and though Lily's hair was a much different shade of red, Grandmummy had always preferred her to Petunia because of her eyes and hair.

"So, have you got yourself a beau yet, darling?" Grandmummy asked as the two were seated on the couch. Her father and mother had disappeared into the kitchen, doing God only knew what, and left grandmother and granddaughter to enjoy the gingerbread house all by themselves.

Lily sighed. The topic of boys was still a bit raw, even though it had been more than a month since the incident with Christopher Miller. "No, Grandmummy, not yet."

"Well, you know, my dear, I'd rather like to meet a grandchild before I die," she said, wiggling her white eyebrows at Lily, who giggled and tried to master her shock.

"Grandmummy, I'm only seventeen!"

"I was your age when I married your grandfather. Did you know?"

"Well, Petunia's getting married soon," Lily said, a bit hesitantly.

Grandmummy flapped her hand dismissively. "She won't carry on the genes, though, darling."

"The genes? Which ones?" Lily asked, her brow creasing.

Grandmummy reached a gnarled old finger up to a corner of her wrinkled eye and tapped it there. "The eyes, love," she whispered. "Our emerald eyes."

"Petunia could, though," she said cautiously. "It is possible, I think."

"But she won't," the old woman insisted, breaking off a corner of the house that was seated on the table before them. It was now nothing but a ruin, the iced roof caved in, large chunks of the walls and chimney missing. Lily felt a slight chill of foreboding and looked up into her grandmother's weathered face again.

"It'll be you," Grandmummy whispered confidently. "It'll be you."

Christmas Day was a haze of presents, family, and snow. As was the Evans' family tradition, they had a small Christmas lunch and then ate a huge dinner at Lily's aunt and uncle's house. Since all of her cousins were either too young or married already and because of her time away at school (they thought it was just a small, remote school way up north), no one really knew her. Petunia was there; they said a stiff hello to each other and parted ways, Petunia to show her extremely fat and ugly fiancé around and Lily to mope alone.

She sipped champagne and watched her sister suck up to everyone with Vernon Dursley glued to her side. Lily knew her sister had odd taste, but he really took the cake. She watched him eat a shrimp, the sauce dripping down his multiple chins before he wiped it away with a bloated hand, and shuddered. Unwelcome thoughts of kissing a mouth like that, having a hand like that touch her, made her feel suddenly nauseated; she turned away immediately and made to walk to the loo, and ran smack into her father.

"Oomph!" Mr. Evans said, narrowly missing spilling his wine all over his daughter. "Lily, darling, watch where you're going, please."

"Sorry, Dad," Lily apologized, though not feeling very chastised at all.

Her father looked at her shrewdly. "You're bored to tears, aren't you?"

Lily looked down and shrugged slightly. "I'm fine."

"You're not." He sighed. "I wish I could let you go, love, but I can't, not before dinner. Your mother would roast me. Why don't you go try and talk with Sarah?" Sarah was Lily's stuffy older cousin and former playmate. She thought she was queen of the world, having graduated from Oxford at the top of her class the previous year and gone on to get a very lucrative job at a law firm. It was her habit to use excruciatingly large words and then expect everyone to praise her for her cleverness – which they did. Lily couldn't stand her.

Mr. Evans saw her look. "Oh, Lily, she isn't that bad."

"Well, her fiancé is." Sarah was engaged too, to the young, dashing lawyer with whom she worked – also an insufferable swot. Sarah had the honor of being a bridesmaid in Petunia's wedding, as Petunia did in hers.

"I don't know what to tell you," Mr. Evans said, his gaze softening as he looked at his youngest. "Just try to last it out. It'll be over soon. And the next time perhaps you'll have a lad of your own, eh?"

"Dad!"

Mr. Evans winked and walked past her, knocking into her slightly and apologizing as he went; Lily realized he was well on his way to becoming tipsy. She sighed and sat down in the nearest chair. This was sure to be a fun evening.

The next morning she went down to breakfast in high spirits once more. Christmas was over, no more spending time with rude relatives....

"Morning, Mum," she said cheerfully, coming into the kitchen. It smelled divine, and her stomach grumbled audibly.

Mrs. Evans brushed a lock of blond hair out of her face and smiled tiredly at Lily. She had indeed become more than slightly drunk the night before, and Lily knew her head must hurt. "Morning, love," she said. "How about a cup of tea? I've made some scones."

"Mmh, sounds wonderful," Lily said, and watched as her mother poured a steaming cup of tea into a mug and then added one lump of sugar, just as she liked it. Lily accepted it from her. The steam heated her face soothingly and she sat for a moment, inhaling the comforting, familiar smell of the Earl Grey, before gently blowing on it and taking a hesitant sip.

"Did you sleep well?" Mrs. Evans asked presently, opening the oven to peek in at the scones within.

"Yes, thanks," Lily said. She set her cup down and peered out the window. "When did you finally come back in, Mum?"

Mrs. Evans shrugged wryly. "Who knows? Late."

Lily smiled. "I know a wonderful sobering potion, but unfortunately we'd have to get all sorts of different ingredients."

"Like what?" Mrs. Evans asked, and then held up a hand when Lily opened her mouth to reply. "Never mind, I don't want to know."

Lily chuckled and took another sip of tea. "Has the _Daily Prophet_ come yet?" she asked, looking around at the counter. Mrs. Evans had a supply of little copper Knuts to pay the delivery owl with, and the paper was usually waiting for Lily when she came down for breakfast.

Mrs. Evans frowned and shook her head, also peering out the open window. The sky was a clear blue, and the snow on the ground sparkled like diamonds under the sun's rays. "No – that's a bit strange, isn't it?"

Lily felt a slight stab of anticipation. Had anything happened? The _Prophet_ had only been late once, and that was when an attack had broken out in Diagon Alley and the staff refused to leave their homes. The attack had been, of course, by Lord Voldemort, the fiercest Dark Lord to rise in a century. He had been steadily gaining power since last year, and was now launching attacks against Muggles and wizards that had intermarried with Muggles. Some said that this Lord Voldemort's goal was to "purify the wizarding race", like Salazar Slytherin, one of the four Hogwarts founders, had supposedly wanted. The disturbing thing was that he was not short of supporters, either.

"Oh, look – there's an owl," Mrs. Evans said, spotting one through the window. Lily squinted as it came closer – it was a _Prophet_ owl, with a rolled up paper attached to its leg.

It swooped in and landed on the table; Lily quickly untied the letter as her mother offered it a dish of water and tucked a Knut into the animal's little pouch. Lily scanned the front page as soon as she got the paper free – and felt her stomach drop. There had been another attack – but this time on a dinner party held for the Minister of Magic....

Lily swallowed and read the caption underneath the photo of a burning home, just above the relatively short article:

_In attendance at the very informal gathering were members of the Potter, Watson, McKinnon, and Bones families, all known for their tireless work against the Dark side. The loss of Aurors Will Potter and Lucas Bones will be felt deeply by the wizarding community._

The blood drained from her face and Lily suddenly felt faint. The Watsons? And Will Potter? Surely that wasn't.... No – it couldn't be.... She looked down at the article and forced her brain to process the typed words.

_Late on Sunday night_, writes Special Correspondent Ophelia Jones, _a group of Death Eaters broke up a small Christmas dinner party held by the McKinnon family for Minister of Magic Millicent Bagnold and other influential families. This unfortunate attack resulted in the untimely deaths of Aurors Will Potter and Lucas Bones as they fought to save the Minister and the others._

_According to authorities who arrived on the scene shortly after eleven o'clock, the Death Eaters numbered fifteen and broke into the house simultaneously, despite the wards placed and precautions taken by the McKinnons. They assaulted the party, which had retired by then to the living room of the home to enjoy dessert, violently and without warning. It was several minutes before the two Aurors assigned to guarding Minister Bagnold could call for reinforcements, as they were stationed outside and were momentarily detained. _

_Minister Bagnold was unhurt but deeply shaken and grief-stricken by the encounter. Katharine Potter, George and Elizabeth Watson, and siblings Edgar and Amelia Bones were unhurt, though Marlene and Thomas McKinnon had to be taken to St. Mungo's as a result of minor burn wounds. _

_Mr. Bones and Mr. Potter leave behind grieving wives and children._

"What's wrong, Lily?" Mrs. Evans asked worriedly as Lily dropped the newspaper onto the counter, eyes wide with shock. Her mother's voice shook her from her horrible thoughts and she jumped up.

"I-I've got to Floo Gwen!"

She felt like her brain was full of lead as she ran into the living room. Hands shaking, she grabbed a handful of Floo Powder, lit the gas fireplace, and tossed it in. "Number 300, Huckleberry Lane!" she cried, and stuck her head straight into the fire.

To her immense surprise, Gwen was sitting in front of the fireplace when Lily's head popped up. Gwen cried out and jumped, her face whiter than a sheet, and stared at her best friend as if she were a ghost.

"Oh God, Gwen! I just heard!" Lily said, her face creased with worry. "Are you – oh, Gwen, are you okay?"

Gwen looked at her for a long moment, her eyes filling. She dropped her head into her hands and let out a strangled sob. Lily started; she could count on one hand the number of times she had seen Gwen cry.

"Oh – oh! Okay, I'm coming-"

Lily jerked her head out of the fire and stood, nearly banging her head on the mantle as she reached up for the small pot. She tossed more Powder in and stepped completely into the fireplace this time, crouching over slightly (the fireplace wasn't that large) and yelling out Gwen's address. Ten dizzying seconds later, she tripped out of the grate and landed right next to her best friend.

She didn't know what to do but put her arms around Gwen. She was unresponsive for a heart-wrenching moment before turning and embracing Lily back hard. Lily could feel the tears soaking her shoulder, but she didn't move, only squeezed Gwen tighter.

Some time later, the brunette pulled back, hiccoughing slightly, and wiped her eyes. "I'm s-sorry, Lily," she said, chest heaving, "but I h-had to c-cry to s-someone. Mum and Dad...." She shook her head.

Lily hugged her again. "You can always cry to me, Gwen," she whispered, and squeezed tighter before letting her go.

Gwen stared down at her hands, her hair falling to cover her face like a curtain. Lily waited, knowing she would speak when she wanted to – and she did, when she got her breath back.

"I was asleep when Mrs. Crockford – she's a neighbor and friend of Mum's – came over and said that the McKinnon party had been attacked. She told me that Mum wanted me to stay home, but both she and Dad were fine. I was scared, but happy that Mum and Dad were okay, you know? I didn't – I didn't think anything was...." She trailed off and made visible effort to control herself. "Mrs. Crockford stayed with me for a bit, and then Mum and Dad got back at about one-thirty or so." Lily heard Gwen swallow hard. "I knew something was wrong because Mum was crying and Dad looked like he had been. They told me – they told me Uncle Will was – was..."

She wiped her eyes impatiently, but the tears still fell. "They told me he was dead, Voldemort killed him. I – oh, Lily.... Uncle Will – Mr. Potter – he's my godfather, did you know? And now James and Aunt Katharine..."

Lily nodded wordlessly, her own eyes filling. She had never met Mr. Potter, but her heart ached for the pain James and Mrs. Potter must be going through.

When Gwen spoke again, it was a whisper. "James...he's going to be completely torn up. And Sirius, oh God.... Both of them, but James the most. Uncle Will is – was – his best friend, Lily." She turned slowly to face her friend, shaking her head. "I'm scared, Lily. I'm scared for everyone – you, Mum, Dad, James, Aunt Katharine, everyone!"

She burst into tears again and fell back into Lily's arms. Lily cried with her: for the fatherless boy and his mother, for the soul of Mr. Potter, for Sirius, and for their world – how it was being torn apart by a single man.

When the time to go back to school arrived two weeks later, they couldn't escape it. Mrs. Watson had firmly said that Hogwarts, under the care of Albus Dumbledore, was the best place for anyone, and she had a talk with Lily's very worried mother about it over the space of an entire afternoon two days before the Hogwarts Express would take them back. Gwen told Lily that James had tried to withdraw from school, only to be shot down by Dumbledore himself.

"I can see the difference," she confided soberly, picking at Lily's old coverlet as their mothers discussed things below in the living room. "He's more alert now.... But he's so different, Lily. You wouldn't believe it. He never smiles anymore."

When the day came to return to Hogwarts, Lily was extremely nervous to see him. Was he really that different? She didn't think she had ever seen him not smiling or joking – but maybe now....Maybe he would treat her as an equal? She was sad for his loss, yes, but a horrible part of her was looking forward to the change Gwen claimed was there.

"Bye, sweetums. We'll see you soon," her mum said, kissing her once more. Mrs. Evans' eyes were shining with unshed tears. "Do be safe, won't you?" she whispered, holding Lily by the shoulders. Mr. Evans stood behind his wife and rubbed her arms soothingly; the gesture wasn't helping their tension at all.

Lily swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, looking away. Her mother released her reluctantly and stepped back. She was scared for her parents – terrified, actually – and a small, evil voice was telling her this could be the last time she saw them.

Lily waved to them as she walked to the train. "I'll write as soon as I can," she called, and paused as she climbed up into the car. They were standing together, waving, and with one last slightly sad smile, Lily turned away and climbed up the stairs.

The prefects' carriage was as rowdy and noisy as it had been on the first day, and Lily battled her way over to an empty set of seats, muttering about disrespectful subordinates. Lauren wasn't there yet, so she saved her friend a seat and drew out a new book she had received over the holidays and started to read. Her mind chose to wander, however, and she thought once again about James Potter. Was he really that different? She knew that if her father were to die, she would be a complete and utter wreck.... But then, James-

"Lily! How are you? How was your Christmas?"

Lily was enveloped into a huge hug by Lauren and her thought was cut off. "It was pretty good, how was yours?"

Lauren apparently had had a wonderful break – her cute neighbor had finally asked her on a date and they had hit it off very well. Lauren was in the middle of gushing about their first kiss when the compartment door opened, and Lily instantly recognized the tall form out of the corner of her eye: James Potter.

A hush fell over the compartment almost instantly. The prefects who didn't know about the attack were quickly filled in by their friends, but James seemed oblivious to the whispering. He didn't look anything like Lily remembered. His face was thinner and wan, his expression was slightly dull, and circles were just visible through the glasses that framed his dark brown eyes.

Remus Lupin was behind him, and he steered his friend through the assembled prefects with ease to the corner opposite where Lily was seated. No one spoke until James was seated, and even then it was in hushed voices.

Lily was deeply unsettled by his appearance for some odd reason, and she wanted to say something to him to make him snap out of it. Her emotions were going mad – did she actually _want_ him to go back to making her life a misery?

The feeling of extreme unease only increased during the ride to the school, in which James neither stirred from his seat nor, from what Lily could see, said anything at all to anyone except Remus. She hadn't realized how much he lit up everything and everyone around him until that day, when it didn't happen anymore. She wondered about something else that hadn't occurred to her before then: what would this mean to her Head Girl duties? Would she have to do everything from now on?

And then the question hit her – would James resign?

It was possible. Possible and probable. But then they would have to replace James, and his replacement would almost certainly be either Christopher Miller or Sirius Black.

Lily would have rather kissed Vernon Dursley.

James was bad, but he wasn't _that_ bad. She looked across the compartment – he was staring out the window listlessly. _Think, Evans_, Lily told herself, _think_. _You could always go to McGonagall, right? _But then – it wasn't as if she could do anything if James turned in his badge, right? She couldn't force him to stay Head Boy when he didn't want to, could she?

And then, quite suddenly, James was looking right at her, and she had to stifle a shriek of surprise. His eyes, formerly merry and twinkling, were dead and showed more pain and grief than Lily had ever seen before. But, just as soon as he looked, he turned away from her.

She had the very, very absurd urge to hug him.

_I'm going insane._

"Told you," Gwen whispered through the dark. The two best friends were having a little powwow in Gwen's bed, speaking softly so as to not wake up their two other roommates.

"Lumos," Lily whispered to her wand, and instantly the tip flared to life. She closed her eyes against the sudden brightness and slowly adjusted to it. When she opened her eyes again, Gwen was sitting up against her headboard, knees drawn to her chest, her black hair spilling down her legs as she rested her chin on her knees. The pallor of her face was increased by the almost fluorescent light coming from Lily's wand.

"I told you," she repeated, looking at Lily intently. "He's a completely different person. Him and Sirius."

Lily didn't deny it, even the bit about Sirius Black. He was indeed a changed person, almost sick with grief. She had seen him at dinner earlier – he was glued to James's side and seemed to almost growl at those who approached them.

"I know," she said quietly. She didn't want to mention her absurd desire to comfort James; she knew it was a secret she would take to the grave.

"His mother is having a really rough time as well," Gwen continued.

"I imagine so," Lily said, and then hesitated. "D'you – d'you think he'll resign?"

Gwen's brow creased. "Resign?"

"The Head Boy position," Lily elaborated, looking down at the comforter and trying to keep her face hidden. She wasn't sure she wanted Gwen to know how she felt about the chance of James being replaced.

"He's going to talk to McGonagall tomorrow," Gwen said quietly, sadly.

Lily's head shot up. "He is?"

Gwen stared at her in astonishment. "Yes," she said slowly. "And if I didn't know better, I'd say you care about that."

"Is it because he doesn't think he can handle it anymore?" Lily asked, deliberately ignoring the second part of what Gwen said.

"And he doesn't want it," Gwen said, looking at Lily oddly. "Why do you care?"

"I don't," Lily said quickly. From the expression on Gwen's face, Lily knew her lie hadn't passed. She could hear Christopher telling her that she was a bad actress and knew it to be true.

"Right. Lily, what's wrong?"

Lily met Gwen's ice blue eyes. "I don't know," she said honestly. "I mean, you'd think I'd be leaping for joy right now. But – I don't know. Maybe it's the thought of who'd take over for James?"

A small smile flickered across Gwen's lips. "That would be bad."

Lily shuddered. Gwen knew all about Lily's disastrous date with Christopher and could sympathize. The thought of working the rest of the year with control-freak Christopher Miller was enough to make Lily consider turning in her own badge.

"So obviously you don't want him to resign," Gwen continued, still looking at her best friend oddly. "Right?"

"Well – yeah, I suppose."

"Then talk to him."

Lily's jaw dropped. "Talk to him?"

"He likes you more than he lets on, Lily," Gwen said almost reluctantly, eyes pinned on Lily's. "I'm sure it would make him think twice if you talked to him."

Lily snorted disbelievingly. "Likes me, does he? You must be blind, Gwen. Or deaf. Or both."

"I'm neither," Gwen said coolly. "Take my advice and talk to him. He'll listen, I promise he will."

Lily sighed. "But when could I talk to him? Before he talks to McGonagall, I mean," she pointed out, almost desperately.

Gwen shrugged. "We've got Transfiguration second to last tomorrow. Talk to him after lunch."

And so the next day, Lily found herself rushing to catch up with him after he left the Great Hall. She had almost missed him leaving, but Gwen had noticed and elbowed her sharply in the side. She was taking the stairs on the great marble staircase in the entrance hall two at a time.

"James!" she called, panting.

His three best friends, who had been surrounding him protectively all day like a pack of wolves, glanced backwards but kept on walking; James, however, stopped and turned. His friends came back and watched curiously as Lily hurried towards them.

Lily's hands were sweating as she drew up with them and stopped in front of James. "I was won-wondering if I could talk to you," Lily wheezed. She stole a glance upwards at his face; he was expressionless, which unnerved her, and so she instead looked at Remus Lupin, who was on James's right.

"What about?" Sirius Black demanded aggressively from his position on James's left.

"None of your business," Lily shot back, glaring at him.

He sneered at her. "Why don't you go tally House points or whatever it is you do for fun? James doesn't want to talk to you."

"Sirius," James said warningly. Lily didn't know what she had expected him to sound like, but it wasn't that. His voice was deeper, more commanding, and serious.

Lily looked up. James and Sirius, who were almost the exact same height, were having a wordless conversation with their eyes. After a few seconds, James looked down at Lily and nodded. "Go ahead," he said to his friends. They hesitated, looking between James and Lily. "It's okay," James assured them. Sirius was already walking away and the other two followed him after a moment, Remus clapping James on the back as he went.

Lily was staring down at the ground again, fingers twisted. Dear Christ, why did she have that completely, alarmingly insane urge to hug him?

He was waiting for her to speak. She cleared her throat and, still looking down, said, "I just wanted to ask if it was true – if you're giving up your Head Boy position."

She snuck a look up at him; he was surprised, which, in turn, surprised her.

"I don't know," he said after a minute. "Why – why do you ask?"

Lily looked back down again and took a deep breath, remembering Gwen's advice to tell the truth. "Because I don't think you should," she said quietly.

"You don't?"

She met his eyes again, feeling herself steady. "No, I don't," she repeated firmly. She struggled with an explanation, feeling helplessly inarticulate. "You – you're good at it."

"I'm not. You know that better than anyone." His gaze was direct and inquisitive.

Lily swallowed. "Well, you're – that is, I mean to say – er...." She trailed off, hoping he would catch the meaning in her stuttering. When he still looked curious, she sighed and decided to throw all caution to the winds. "I don't want you to give it up. I'll do all the work, help you lie your way out of meetings – you name it, I'll do it. Just don't resign."

He blinked and pushed his glasses up farther on his nose, obviously astounded. For the first time, Lily saw the vulnerable side of James Potter, and it wasn't a sight she would forget in a hurry.

"I – er, I don't know what to say," he finally said. He reached into his robe pocket and drew out his slightly tarnished Head Boy badge and ran a thumb over it meditatively. "I was going to go turn this in to McGonagall after Transfiguration-" He stopped short, realization flashing through his eyes. "Did Gwen tell you to do this?"

Lily was taken aback. He looked suddenly angry. "Well, she told me you were planning to turn it in. If you mean did she ask me to talk to you, then no. It's – it's just me."

"Oh," he said, carefully masking his expressions once again. "I still don't understand, though, why you're doing this."

Lily shrugged helplessly. "That makes two of us."

"I don't like being Head Boy," he persisted. "No matter what it looks like, I don't like it."

Lily shrugged again. "That doesn't matter. I'll do everything, like I said."

"But I don't want you to do everything. That's not fair."

Lily was starting to become impatient. "Look, I don't care. It's fine, really. What do you say?"

He sighed, apparently deep in thought as he rubbed the badge. He finally slipped it back into his pocket and fixed Lily with an intent stare. "I won't resign, but I'm not letting you do all the work."

Lily couldn't help but smile in relief. "Okay, it doesn't matter. Whatever you want to do." She was about to turn and walk away, but good manners kicked in. "Erm – thanks."

He held her eyes for a moment. "You're welcome."

She looked down at her feet, slightly embarrassed, and a silence descended on them. Lily was debating whether or not to say anything about his father and decided in the end that she had better just go for it.

"I'm sorry," she said, breaking the silence. "About your dad, I mean."

His Adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed, but his voice was even and calm when he spoke. "Thank you."

Just then, a bell rang from somewhere around them, signaling the end of lunch, and Lily started. She realized she didn't have her books for her afternoon classes. "Oh, no," she muttered. "Erm, I should go," she said, and then hesitated. "Thanks again, Pot – er..." She felt panicked suddenly. Should she use "Potter" or were they now friends?

"It's okay – Lily," James said softly. She was absurdly pleased with how he had said her name for some odd reason. It was new coming from him and sounded almost better than it did from those who regularly called her "Lily" and not "Evans".

She smiled and dashed away before she could give away any of her foolish feelings.

Lily was more than slightly apprehensive when she hurried breathlessly to the library the following Wednesday. She had almost forgotten the meeting with James (which showed how preoccupied she had been lately) and had run from Gryffindor Tower at breakneck speed. Unfortunately, the library was a bit far from the Tower, so Lily was reduced to a gasping lope by the time she pushed open the doors and entered the huge library.

She scanned the tables eagerly – James was at one in the very back, head in his hands. Lily hesitated for a split second before making her way over to his table. What if he'd forgotten about the meeting too and just wanted to be alone? She quickly dismissed that notion. No way would he come to the library if he wanted to be alone.

He raised his head when he heard her approach; his eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he hadn't slept in quite a while. "Hi," Lily said, smiling a bit shyly. "Sorry about being late – I, er, was held up in the Tower."

He shrugged, dropping his head back down into his hands, and she sat down slowly, almost warily, across from him. She wanted to ask him if he was all right – the first idea that popped into her head – but she knew that was a ridiculous question and couldn't possibly ask it. She decided on a safer topic – albeit one she had no idea about.

"So – how's Quidditch?"

Her question startled him into looking at her, and she blushed, knowing her strategy had been figured out. He stared at her for a moment, before shrugging again. "'S all right."

"What do you – er – think our chances are for the Cup?"

Yet another shrug. "Dunno."

"Gwen thinks we've got a good chance. Well, I mean, that is, if Slytherin beats Ravenclaw. That should be an exciting match."

James stared at her again. "Have you ever played Quidditch?"

Lily blushed again and cleared her throat, looking down at her hands. "Erm, well, the only time I've been on a broom was first-year flying lessons," she confessed, and then plunged on. "It didn't move when I said 'Up!' and so I grabbed it when no one was looking. I rose two feet off the ground, fell, and that was the end of Lily and flying."

She thought she saw the trace of a smile flicker across his face. "I don't remember that."

"Yes, well, you were too good for everyone back then," Lily replied dryly. "I was so jealous of you for being such a good flyer."

A smile definitely did flicker across his face this time. "Were you?"

Lily was so ecstatic he was talking that she didn't care she was revealing her secret envy of James Potter to his face. "Oh yes. I told myself that if I had been raised as a wizard then surely I would be a good flier as well....I didn't believe it then, and I certainly don't believe it now." She smiled.

Lily detected a hint of the old sparkle back in his eyes. "You just needed a proper teacher. Madam Price was rubbish."

"A proper teacher and natural talent," Lily retorted. "Of which I had neither, so it really doesn't matter."

He opened his mouth to say something, but evidently thinking better of it, shut it and leaned back in his chair. "Were any points taken during the holidays?"

Lily regretted going back to their duties – and regretted even more the points lost from Gryffindor over break. "Those two second years, Roger McKenzie and Allen Pope, stayed over the holidays. They bewitched snowballs to follow Professor Kiser around as he went on a walk." James winced. "He deducted thirty points."

"Thirty?" James repeated, incredulous, leaning forward onto the table again.

Lily nodded grimly. "They were incredibly pleased with themselves, or so McGonagall said."

"It's a good prank, but the point is not to be caught," James said reproachfully, sounding like a disappointed father.

"Coming from the master," Lily said teasingly, and for a second she was scared she had overstepped the invisible line. But James merely gave her a small but genuine smile.

"Is there anything else?"

"Nope," Lily said, trying to not look relieved. "I haven't taken any this week."

"I haven't either," James said quietly, looking sad again.

Lily hadn't thought he had. "And have you noticed any unease or anything?"

"No," he said, meeting her eyes. Usually he didn't answer her routine questions – he deigned not to, considering them to be unimportant. It meant more to Lily than she could say that he was answering them this time.

"Right, then," she said, attempting to be business-like, "I'll tell Professor McGonagall everything's fine, then."

James nodded, stood, and then paused, looking down at her. "Are you going back up?"

He wanted to walk with her back to the Tower?

Lily shook her head for reasons unknown even to herself. "I've – er, I've got to study a bit. Down here. In the library. With the books."

_Shut UP, mouth, shut UP! _

Lily was very aware of her talents, or lack thereof, in acting, and looked down at the table.

James said, "All right, then. I guess I'll see you later."

"Bye...James."

"Bye – Lily."


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Lily panicked a bit the following Monday when she received an owl at breakfast. Her father had just owled her the previous day, and since she never got any mail except from her parents, she thought it had to be from a teacher – which was never good.

It wasn't, however. It proved to be a short note, a bit shorter than the note she had gotten from James Potter, written in a neat but urgent hand. It read:

_Go to the common room tonight at one o'clock. If you follow the person that sneaks out, you'll find something dangerously important._

Lily flipped the note over, looking for a clue as to who had sent it and why. The owl was an inconspicuous school owl, so that didn't tell her anything. She reread the note. _Go to the common room at one o'clock tonight and follow someone? _

_Prank_ was the first thought that jumped into her head. A stunt pulled by James – well, no, probably not James, but maybe Sirius – to lure her out of Gryffindor Tower and douse her with water or something in revenge?

She stared at the note again, willing it to give her another clue. She decided, however, that going down to the common room at one wouldn't hurt – so long as she wasn't seen. She was a Gryffindor, for God's sake – there was no harm in _looking_.

So, she crept down to the common room that night after Gwen, Dorcas, and Mary Katherine had gone to bed, and hid herself behind one of the scarlet curtains framing the large windows. From her position, she had a clear view of the portrait hole, and the dying embers in the fireplace were enough light for her to see, but not be seen.

The clock was chiming one when a dark shape appeared before the fire. It was a person in a black robe…with a _hood?_ The person, whose face was hidden, looked around the common room and, evidently seeing nothing, threw back the hood. Lily had to stifle a gasp.

It was Dorcas, her light blond hair glimmering in the firelight, face paler than usual. Her hands were shaking slightly as she pressed them to her cheeks. She looked up at the grandfather clock (which was uncomfortably close to Lily's hiding place) and took a deep breath before flipping her hood up over her hair and moving towards the portrait hole.

Lily's heart was pounding as she counted slowly to ten after the portrait hole had closed and crept out from behind the curtain, moving stealthily towards it. She was feeling very short of breath, hundreds of possible theories running through her head as to why Dorcas was sneaking out of Gryffindor at one o'clock in a hood. But the more she tried to convince herself that it was probably a midnight rendezvous with her Ravenclaw boyfriend, the more she didn't believe it. She could see the words from the letter whenever she closed her eyes, as if they were burned on her eyelids – _If you follow the person that sneaks out, you'll find something dangerously important._

She located the dark shadow that was Dorcas easily – she was running through the middle of the corridor – and followed her down three floors and through all sorts of passages Lily had never seen before. Dorcas finally came to a stop in front of a mirror and went forward to it. She said a password that Lily didn't catch and the mirror slid to the side, revealing a hole large enough for someone to fit through.

Lily walked forward from her place against the wall in the shadows – and was jerked violently back again by invisible hands. She opened her mouth to shriek, but one of those hands found its way to her mouth before she could make any noise at all. As she struggled, she heard the whisper of fabric behind her, was pulled back onto something warm – a human chest? – and suddenly there was a blanket over her head. It was silvery and she noticed absently that it felt like cool water against her skin before realizing that the hand holding her mouth wasn't invisible anymore. She whirled around and almost shrieked again. It was none other that James Potter, pressing his free hand to his lips. He leaned down and said in her ear, so quietly she almost missed it, "Don't say a word."

She nodded, her eyes wide, and he released her, gently moving her so she was standing next to him underneath that cloak. Though it felt like an hour, it really had been only a few seconds since Dorcas had disappeared behind the mirror and James jerked Lily backwards. She saw why he had done it now – more cloaked people were emerging out of the shadows. She knew instinctively that what the people were doing here was dangerous and probably wrong, and she wondered why James thought a flimsy cloak could protect them from their eyes.

And then it hit her. James Potter had an Invisibility Cloak.

Well, that certainly explained a lot.

As she stood motionlessly beside him, watching as more people arrived and said the password to the mirror, she thought about all the pranks James had performed without being caught. He was _never_ caught, and now she knew why.

After a bit, the people seemed to be thinning out, and after two shorter cloaked people went into the mirror, ten minutes went by without the two seeing anyone. James motioned at Lily to follow him and they crept down the wall and ducked into the nearest classroom. He shut the door very carefully as Lily untangled herself from the cloak and stepped out of it. She lit her wand and looked down at the part of her hand that held a bit of the cloak – half her palm and fingers were completely invisible.

"How did you get this?" she asked incredulously, turning her invisible hand over.

James took the cloak from her and shook it out before carefully folding it. "It's been in the family for ages."

"Wow," Lily breathed. She could see by his face that he clearly didn't want to talk about his family at the moment, and so she shook her head to get rid of the thoughts of the Invisibility Cloak. "Did you get a note too, then?"

James nodded. "At breakfast, yeah. I decided to see what was going on."

Lily, who was still mystified by the events of the night, said, "And just what _is_ going on?"

He looked down at her, as if debating whether or not to tell her. He perched on the edge of a desk and ran his fingers through his hair, a familiar gesture, but this time he wasn't concentrating on messing his hair up so it was new to Lily. "A Dark meeting," he said finally.

Lily stared at him. "Dark meeting? But – you can't mean…."

"Those are the students interested in joining Voldemort when they leave school."

Lily's jaw dropped as her numb mind struggled to comprehend what he was saying. "What? But – but Dorcas-"

James shook his head in disgust. "Her whole family are Death Eaters. Cousins of the Malfoy's on her father's side. They were all shocked when she made it into Gryffindor and everyone shunned her. I guess this is her chance to prove that even though she's a Gryffindor, she can still be…."

"But – but I saw her in the common room," Lily said, her voice trembling, taking a seat on the desk nearest to her. "She – she didn't look like she wanted to go."

James sighed. "But she went, didn't she?"

Lily looked down at her lap, tears threatening to make an appearance on her cheeks. Dorcas, sweet Dorcas – she wanted to become a – a _Death Eater?_ Work for Lord Voldemort?

"_Dammit_, I wish I could hear what they're saying!" James burst out suddenly, and Lily started and looked up at him. He was pacing now, running his fingers through his hair agitatedly.

"What are we going to do?" Lily asked quietly, hoping her voice was steadier than she thought. She pinned her eyes to her lap again, blinking furiously to keep the tears at bay.

James thought for a moment, his pacing gradually slowing. "There isn't anything we can do except tell the Headmaster. Did you recognize anyone besides Dorcas?"

Lily blushed. She had been too busy marveling at the Invisibility Cloak to try and figure out who the figures were. "No," she said truthfully.

"I'll swear on my life that the two big ones were Crabbe and Goyle and the little skinny one with them was Avery."

Lily shrugged. "I don't know," she said. When he said nothing, only ran his fingers through his hair again thoughtfully, Lily slid off the desk. "Shouldn't we go before their little meeting breaks up?"

James looked up and stared at her, as if seeing her there for the first time. He shook his head to clear it and reached for the folded Invisibility Cloak. "Yeah – yeah, you're right." He disappeared under the cloak and then said, "Coming?"

Lily looked dubiously at the spot where James had just vanished. That cloak wasn't huge. Though it was all right for a mad dash to an empty classroom, the thought of going all the way back to Gryffindor Tower in such close proximity to James Potter was a very uncomfortable one.

"Erm – isn't it a bit small?"

Lily heard a snort from somewhere near her right ear. "If you want to go in plain sight, that's fine with me," he said, and she could almost see his shrug.

"Oh, all right, fine," Lily huffed, putting her arms out blindly towards the place she had last heard him speak. He grabbed her from the completely opposite side, scaring her half to death, and pulled her under the cloak. Lily put her light heart and short breath down to the scare she had just received (it definitely was _not_ because he had just touched her) and smacked his arm when she could see him under the cloak.

"Ow," he remarked – it would have been casual but for the amusement evident in his tone – and grabbed her lit wand. "_Nox_," he commanded it, plunging them into semi-darkness before handing it back to its disgruntled owner. Lily pocketed it and crept to the door with James. He stopped and carefully, soundlessly opened the door. Before exiting, however, he turned to Lily. "We're going back a different way – one you'll probably not know – so…." He trailed off uneasily, holding his arm out to her in the moonlight that filtered in through the lone window. Lily hid a smile – James Potter was feeling _awkward_ with a girl! – and took his arm, tactfully thanking him.

He waved off her thanks and opened the classroom door just enough for them to creep silently through. He turned right, back the way they came, past the sinister-looking mirror – behind which only God knew what was being discussed – and, instead of heading up the stairs, towed Lily past them, tickling a door on their right. They wound their way through so many odd, old corridors and passageways that Lily lost count, coming finally to a halt before a round hole with steps leading up to it, a mini-portrait hole, and James pushed Lily through it. She dropped three feet to the ground on the other side and found to her astonishment that on her left, not two feet away, was the portrait of the Fat Lady and the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. It had taken five minutes to get back this way, if that!

She heard James drop down behind her and she turned to him in amazement. "_How_ did you find that?"

He shrugged mysteriously, the faintest glimmer of a smile on his lips, and turned to the snoring Fat Lady. He had to yell the password several times before she jerked awake and swung forward, muttering very rich obscenities under her breath for a two-hundred-year-old portrait, and Lily and James climbed through.

They stood awkwardly together in the common room, Lily pretending to fix her robes as James shook out the Invisibility Cloak.

"So – I suppose we'll go see Dumbledore tomorrow?"

Lily looked up and nodded. "I suppose so," she said. "But when…?"

"It'll probably have to be first thing in the morning," James said, glancing at the clock. "He'll want to know right away."

"All right, so at breakfast, then?"

James cleared his throat. "Actually, I know the password to his office, so…."

Lily worked hard to conceal her surprise. "You know the password to his office?" she repeated, eyes wide.

"He and my dad are – _were_ – good friends," James explained. His voice hitched slightly at the "were", and for one heart-stopping moment, Lily thought he was going to break down.

"I – I see," she stammered, and without knowing exactly what she was doing, reached out her right hand and put it on his left, the one that wasn't holding the cloak. Her hand looked small and white against his still-tanned skin. She squeezed gently. "I suppose I'll meet you here tomorrow morning, then."

James nodded wordlessly, glasses glinting in the firelight, and Lily turned to go, walking towards the girls' stairs. He stopped her before she could climb them.

"Lily?"

She turned around to look at him. "Yeah?"

"I think Gryffindor has a fantastic shot at winning the Cup."

His back was to the fire and so his face was covered in shadow, but she knew he was smiling.

"So you've never been here before?"

Lily shook her head wordlessly, eyes glued to the gargoyle that was turning slowly, revealing a hole that was becoming progressively bigger. She was extremely nervous for some odd reason, and desperately wished she was under James's Invisibility Cloak. Come to that, she wished she wasn't even _there_ – she wanted to be in her bed asleep.

She had lain awake for at least an hour until she had heard the door quietly creak open and Dorcas come back into the dormitory. She had then lain awake for yet another hour or two, irrational thoughts about Dorcas murdering them all in their beds swarming through her head. Mary Katherine, who always got up earlier than all of them to go for a run, woke Lily up as she had requested when she got back around seven. Lily had dragged herself into the shower and down to the common room, where an equally dead-looking James was waiting. Wordlessly they exited the portrait hole and went all the way down to the second floor, past the classrooms (and Professor Kiser's office) and down an empty hallway. James had tapped a statue, said "Turkish Delight," and now it was moving.

"He's not that bad, you know," James said, his tone slightly teasing.

"But he's _Dumbledore_," Lily hissed as the gargoyle stopped moving and James stepped inside. "Don't you know what he's _done?_"

"Come on," he said, motioning her to the hole. A moving stone staircase was spiraling slowly upwards, and James was already going up when Lily gingerly stepped on. "Of course I know what he's done," James continued from somewhere above her. "Who doesn't?"

Lily had a bizarre desire to hush him, but she decided just to clamp her jaws shut and not say anything. At all. Until she was back downstairs.

James was waiting for her on the landing before a huge oak door. He glanced at her before knocking loudly on it. A familiar voice called, "Come in!" and James pushed open the door.

Dumbledore's office was the grooviest (to use Gwen's favorite word) place Lily had ever seen. Everything was whirring, ticking, or gurgling; the portraits on the walls were chatting; and a little baby bird on a large golden perch was squawking.

"Ah! Mr. Potter, Miss Evans! What a lovely surprise!" Albus Dumbledore called jovially from somewhere above them. He was climbing down an intricate wrought-iron spiral staircase, a large book clutched to his chest. "I trust both of you are well?"

Lily couldn't help but smile at the old headmaster as he came to a stop before them, eyes twinkling benevolently.

"We're well," James said, jumping right into it, "but not everything here is."

Dumbledore raised his bushy white eyebrows. "Is it not?"

"Yesterday Lily and I received anonymous messages to be in the common room at one o'clock in the morning in order to follow someone, and we did." James paused, glancing at Lily.

"Do continue," Dumbledore encouraged, "you have me quite intrigued."

"The person …" Lily continued – she didn't want to give up Dorcas, not just yet, "the person led us to the secret passage on the fourth floor, behind the mirror – but we don't think they actually went anywhere, Professor, we just think they had a meeting."

Dumbledore walked slowly to his large oak desk, looking thoughtful. He seated himself and then gestured to the two chairs before him. "Please, have a seat," he said, sounding infinitely more serious than he had before. "And tell me, who is 'they', if you please?"

"We're not quite sure," James said carefully, sitting down in the right-hand chair. "They were hooded and cloaked, though, and I thought many looked like – well…."

"Like Slytherins, sir," Lily put in, taking the chair on the left. "Although some – some weren't."

Dumbledore rested his elbows on the table and clasped his hands before him. "I am very aware of these meetings," he said finally, quietly. "I thank you both for your investigation, however, and hope that you will continue to keep your eyes and ears open in the future."

James was as dumbstruck as Lily. "You _know_ about the meetings? Know that they're probably planning to be Death Eaters?"

"I certainly do, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said, and Lily could see his mouth twitch slightly at James's description of the persons in attendance of the meetings.

"But, Professor, why haven't you _done_ anything about it?" Lily demanded, angry at Dumbledore for being so calm. "They could – they could rise up, and – and-"

"Let grown Death Eaters into the school or something," James finished for her, and Lily nodded vehemently in agreement.

Another smile flickered on Dumbledore's face. "I assure you, my dear James, if I thought these certain people posed a threat to the school, they would be dealt with. As it stands, they are nothing but a group of children anxious to be rid of school and enter the adult world."

Lily swallowed. "Do you – do you know who's in the group, sir?"

Dumbledore looked at her, his eyes seeming to poke straight through her. He gave her a tiny smile and the hint of a wink. "I know many, Miss Evans."

"But you still haven't answered the question. Why you won't stop them?" James persisted impatiently.

Dumbledore shook his head. "Mr. Potter, you know as well as I that they would merely reconvene in another place. You sound remarkably like Professor McGonagall," he added to James. "She wished to be done with the group as well."

James's eyes had widened at the comparison, and he seemed too shocked to speak, so Lily did. "The _teachers_ know too, Professor?"

"Indeed they do, Miss Evans. If the group were to attempt something nefarious on the school, I assure you it would not come as a surprise."

Lily bit her lip, thinking. It was a relief to know that others knew, but on the other hand, she was starting to feel a bit embarrassed about making a big deal out of something that obviously wasn't.

"I thank you once again for your desire to alert me with this," Dumbledore said, looking at each of them very seriously. "It shows much about your characters. And it also shows me that you both can't still abhor each other as you used to," he added with a smile. Lily looked down at her lap, flushing faintly in embarrassment. For some reason she had thought that perhaps their fighting hadn't reached Dumbledore's attention, which was completely ridiculous, since Dumbledore knew everything. "And, though I had hoped to schedule a meeting with the both of you at a more opportune time – I believe we are missing breakfast at the moment – I suppose now will do. I would like to briefly speak with you about what your plans are after leaving Hogwarts."

Lily's brow furrowed, and when James didn't say anything, she said slowly, "I want to train to become a Healer, sir."

Dumbledore bowed his head slightly towards her in acknowledgement. "An admirable profession, Miss Evans, and one I am sure you will excel at."

Lily blushed with the praise and looked at James. He was staring straight at Dumbledore and said steadily, "You know what I want to be."

Dumbledore met his eyes. "An Auror, Mr. Potter?"

James nodded. Lily saw him swallow, and the knuckles on the hand resting on the arm of his chair were white.

"Of course," Dumbledore said softly, sadly, the twinkle in his eyes diminishing. When he looked at Lily again it was with a tired, old face, the wrinkles standing out more than they had a moment before.

"What I wish to ask you – and this is in complete secrecy, bear in mind – is that if, after Hogwarts, you would both like to join a society, a _secret_ society that includes some of the most powerful witches and wizards of our time. We have all united in pursuit of one common goal – to stop Lord Voldemort and his supporters." He paused, his eyes looking past Lily at something only he could see. It allowed her to take a breath. He was asking _her_, Lily Evans, a Muggleborn nobody, to join his secret army? She felt a rush of – a rush of _something _flood through her veins, and she looked back up at the old headmaster. He was looking at them steadily. "I cannot stress enough how important the two of you would be to the society." He turned and focused on Lily. "_Both_ of you."

Tears started to form in Lily's eyes and she looked down. Albus Dumbledore thought _she_ was important! Thought _she_ could help him!

"I would love to, if I can be of any help, sir," Lily heard herself saying calmly.

"You don't even need to ask," James said quietly on her right.

"I really had hoped you would both agree," Dumbledore said, and Lily looked up. His blue eyes were twinkling madly again.

"Who else is in it?" James asked curiously.

"Ah, you shall see, Mr. Potter, you shall see," Dumbledore said mysteriously. "But once again, I do hope you won't mention this to your friends. Many of them are being considered as well, but I haven't spoken to them yet." He beamed at them. "Wonderful, wonderful. And I think we all have time to head down to breakfast."

Lily couldn't help the smile tugging at her lips. She felt almost exhilarated, as if she had been carrying something heavy around that was suddenly gone. She was going to help Dumbledore.

"Professor," James asked as they walked towards the door, "what is this secret society called?"

Dumbledore opened the door and bowed courteously to Lily. He said thoughtfully as she passed through the door, "Well, we haven't named it quite yet, but I do like the Order of the Phoenix, don't you?"

The following weekend the Slytherin Quidditch team slaughtered Ravenclaw with a three hundred-point difference between them. The Gryffindors celebrated as much as the Slytherins did – they had been tied with Ravenclaw for first place and were now in the lead, though Slytherin wasn't that far behind. The next match, Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff, would take place the weekend after Valentine's Day.

As for school, everything was slowly becoming much harder as the teachers loaded on homework to "prepare" the seventh years for their N.E.W.T.s, but Lily was managing. She was the most nervous about Defense Against the Dark Arts. Her blocking shield, though she was quick at getting it up, wasn't as strong as it should be. Last week she had walked out of class with a bad case of jelly legs because the shield had had a hole in it.

The relationship between James and Lily had certainly changed, even more so since their curious bonding experience over the romp through Hogwarts in the middle of the night and the admission into Dumbledore's society afterwards. After a while, it became apparent to outsiders that things were different between the two – especially at a prefect meeting on the night before the Gryffindor verses Hufflepuff match.

Lily had begun the meeting promptly at eight, wondering where James was. She was halfway through her speech on keeping the common rooms cleaner when James had burst into the Great Hall, the closest thing to a grin on his face that Lily had seen since before the Christmas holiday, and made a beeline for her. The prefects had watched in openmouthed astonishment as their Head Boy leaned down and whispered something in their Head Girl's ear, causing her to let out a whoop of glee and fling her arms around his neck.

Lily actually didn't know quite what possessed her to hug James, but she knew it felt right at the moment; he had just told her both Gwen and Sirius were asked to be members of the society. They had met with Dumbledore earlier and were walking back together from the meeting when they ran into James on his way to the Great Hall and told him all about it.

And so, she found herself with her arms wrapped about James Potter's neck on Friday evening and with his arms encircling her middle. It took both of them about ten seconds to realize, through their haze of joy, that they were indeed embracing each other – and in front of all the Hogwarts prefects, too.

Lily was sure you could have fried an egg on her face when she stepped out of James's arms. She turned slowly away from him, eyes determinedly cast away, and took a deep breath before looking out at the assembled students. Everyone, to her slight surprise and significant embarrassment, looked like they had just been hit by a particularly large block of wood. Remus seemed quite like he was going to faint; Lily hoped absently that he had the sense to fall forward, not backwards, if he indeed did pass out. Her body felt tingly, and she was trying to get control over her absurdly light heart, which seemed to be threatening to burst out of her chest.

She cleared her throat.

"As I was saying before, the house-elves do clean up after us, but only in the nighttime. The things that accumulate over the day make it literally impossible, at times, to walk through certain parts of our common rooms…"

"I still can't believe it."

Lily stopped dead and threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "Gwen! _Shut up!"_

Gwen pursed her lips and continued walking. They were on their way to breakfast the following morning and then would go on to the Quidditch match, in which Gwen was playing. "No need to be so cranky," she said archly. "You seem a bit too defensive, though, over such a small thing as a hug."

Lily caught up to her friend in a flash. "And what is_ that_ supposed to mean?" she demanded, her face heating. Gwen had been shooting Lily pointed looks ever since Lily got back from the prefect meeting and Gwen had heard about the "incident", and Lily was about to go mad from them. In fact, everyone seemed to be looking at her a bit strangely.

Gwen shrugged. "Oh, I don't know," she said, but her tone said something else.

"Gwen," Lily said warningly.

"You like him."

Lily's eyes widened and she stopped dead. This time Gwen stopped with her. "Is _that_ what you think?"

Gwen raised an eyebrow. "Oh, come on, Lily, everyone thinks it."

For a moment, Lily forgot to be annoyed. She stared at Gwen in open shock. "_What?_"

"You know exactly what I said."

"Gwen, all we did was _hug!_"

Gwen looked up and down the corridor they were walking down and, finding it suitably empty, stepped closer to Lily and lowered her voice. "James Potter has always liked you, Lily, you know that. Everyone's started to just think you're maybe reciprocating his feelings this time around."

Gwen turned on her heels and began descending a flight of stairs. After a moment's dumbfounded shock, Lily wheeled around and dashed after her. "But – but – I _don't_ like him. You know that, Gwen!"

Her friend shrugged again. "Sometimes I wonder, Lily. All that midnight wandering…."

"It only happened once!"

"Of course it did."

"You're provoking me, Gwen Watson, and I want to know why!" Lily jumped down a stair and stood directly in front of Gwen, staring her boldly in the eye. To her surprise, Gwen said nothing right away, only looked at her with – _sadness? _

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "Come on, or I'll be late."

Lily watched her as she passed by, thinking hard. She followed her down to the Great Hall, not a word passing between them, all the while pondering Gwen's attitude. _Sadness – impatience – possessiveness? _

As they entered the Great Hall, Lily resigned herself to the only possible conclusion – Gwen liked James.

"And playing for Gryffindor are Potter, Cunvil, Martin, Proust, Black, Harkerator, and Watson!"

The commentator, a cheery Hufflepuff called Jon Iwak, announced the Gryffindor team with as much gusto as he had shown for his own team minutes earlier. Lily watched from her spot in the stands as James and his team flew out onto the field, landed before the new Quidditch referee, Madam Hooch, and dismounted. James shook hands with Hufflepuff captain Lars Hummel before getting back on his broom and shooting into the air when Madam Hooch's whistle blew. He was in motion in seconds, and it made Lily a bit dizzy to watch him, so she focused on Gwen instead. She was soaring high above the game, eyes alert and searching for the tiny Golden Snitch that would end the game.

Lily's mind wandered as she watched the tiny figure of her best friend flying with ease. Breakfast had been the most uncomfortable affair with Gwen that Lily could remember because all she could think about was, _Gwen likes James, and she never told me. _Now Lily was sure that was the case. Gwen's sudden, almost hostile, change in attitude, her reaction to Lily's "midnight wandering" (she had blanched in shock) – it made sense. Why else would she suddenly behave so oddly?

"Lily? Can I sit?"

Lily stiffened at the sound of Dorcas Meadowes's voice. She shielded her eyes and slowly looked up into the face of her roommate – Dorcas looked distressed and not a little awkward. Lily's treacherous mouth said, "Yes, of course," and her treacherous body moved over on the seat to make room for Dorcas, while her mind shouted, "No way, you traitor! Death Eater scum!"

Lily focused her eyes to the game once she had moved over and didn't meet Dorcas's eyes, even though she could feel them on her. When Dorcas touched her arm, she flinched unconsciously, which made Dorcas remove her hand quickly. Lily sensed she was about to start talking.

"Lily…."

Lily turned in surprise at Dorcas's tone. She was crying freely, her tears soaking her Gryffindor scarf, shoulders hunched in misery.

"Do you hate me?" she whispered, and Lily's heart sped up in alarm. She looked around; the people around her, who were mostly Gryffindors, were paying no attention to the sobbing Dorcas as Hufflepuff had just scored twice.

Lily said desperately, "Oh, Dorcas, please don't cry."

Dorcas turned her tearstained face to Lily and repeated, "Do you hate me?"

"No, no, I don't hate you," Lily assured her hurriedly, and it was true. She didn't hate her – she just strongly disliked her.

"You don't talk to me anymore!" Dorcas sobbed, burying her face in her hands again, her blond hair falling forward. "I t-tried to talk to you the o-other day and you ig-_ignored_ me!"

Lily swallowed hard and looked around, as if for assistance. Oh, dear….

"I know what you think," Dorcas said when she could speak again. She took her gloved hands away from her face and stared down at her lap. "You think I'm a Death Eater, don't you?"

Lily paled in shock. _What? How did Dorcas … ? _

"I knew you were following me," she continued miserably. "I saw you behind the curtain in the common room."

Lily was speechless. "I-"

Now Dorcas looked up, her brown eyes connecting solidly with Lily's green ones. "I'm not a Death Eater," she said firmly, clearly. "I'm the one that told Dumbledore _about_ the meetings."

Lily's mouth fell open. "You-"

"Told him, yes," she nodded. "I don't know how you found out about them, but I swear, Lily," she said, taking Lily's limp hands, eyes filling with tears again, "I swear I'm not a Death Eater. I don't want to be one later on and I never will be one."

"But then why … ?"

"Dumbledore asked me to," Dorcas said steadily. "I was invited to the meetings because of my family, went to one, and woke Professor Dumbledore up in the middle of the night, I was so scared." She looked down, and Lily squeezed her hands reassuringly. "He told me he wanted me to be in something, a sort of society." Her mouth fell open in alarm. "Oh no, I don't think I was supposed to say-"

"I'm in it too," Lily said gently. She felt like crying. How could she have ever doubted Dorcas? "Dumbledore's secret society."

Dorcas smiled. "Good, I'm glad. I thought you'd be invited too. But anyway, he asked me to keep going to the meetings, like a sort of double agent. But I hate them, Lily, I _hate_ them! I feel the whole time like they're all going to realize that I'm not really interested in killing and torturing Muggles and then turn me in to the Dark Lord or whatever. … God, it feels good to get this out loud!"

Her last sentence was said with no little relief, and Lily smiled at her, happier than she could say. "Oh, Dorcas, I'm so proud of you!" she said honestly, and hugged her friend tightly. "And I'm so sorry I ever doubted you."

Dorcas pulled back from the embrace with a slight smile. "It's been killing me not to tell anyone, especially Mary Katherine." She hesitated for a moment, and Lily gave her hands a reassuring squeeze. "I think – I think Mary Katherine knows, actually. I think she figured it out."

Lily thought back to the anonymous note she received. Though the person's handwriting didn't match Mary Katherine's, that meant nothing with the Spy Quills you could get at Zonko's joke shop in Hogsmeade; they disguised your handwriting completely. She smiled to herself – she would probably never know for sure – and said, "Maybe she does."

"I dunno," Dorcas said with a shrug, looking down. Lily could tell that it really did bother her not telling her best friend – it had been _killing_ Lily not to tell Gwen about her admission into Dumbledore's society – and she squeezed her hands once more before letting go.

"Don't worry about it," Lily advised her. "She'll know in time." At that moment, the Gryffindor supporters screamed their happiness as James scored, making the score seventy to sixty with Gryffindor in the lead.

"Thanks, Lily," Dorcas said quietly, and Lily met her eyes with a smile.

"It's no problem," Lily said. She peered down onto the pitch where Gwen had just suddenly gone into a steep dive, the Hufflepuff Seeker right on her heels. Lily forgot her troubles as she stood and cheered when Gwen rose from the descent with the tiny Golden Snitch clasped tightly in her hand.

After the game, Lily bade goodbye to Dorcas and went down to the pitch, wanting to walk back with Gwen and perhaps talk to James. She felt a huge urge to make sure he knew that Dorcas was innocent, not who they had thought she was. She also wanted to tell her best friend that she didn't care – she could like whomever she wanted and Lily would never, ever like the same person. Not that she liked James, of course, but just in case, she wanted to make sure Gwen knew it.

She sat on one of the benches that were down on the pitch for the teams to rest on during time outs and watched as the students and teachers filtered out of the stadium. The players left the locker rooms at different times, and by the time the people Lily wanted to see came out, she was sure she had seen the entire Hufflepuff team pass by dejectedly.

Lily got up and ran over to her sweaty, disheveled, but elated best friend when she emerged and hugged her tightly, taking care not to poke herself with Gwen's broomstick. Gwen was astonished, but hugged her back just as tightly. Lily whispered, "We should talk," and when Gwen pulled back, her blue eyes were questioning but she nodded.

"Okay."

"That was an awesome catch," Lily said seriously as James and Sirius Black caught up to them.

Gwen flashed a happy smile. "Thanks, Lils."

Lily turned and smiled at Sirius, who looked surprised, but smiled back. "Great job, Sirius," she said, before turning and forcing herself to look at James. Her traitorous blood felt the urge to rush to her cheeks, but she held his eyes. "You too, James."

His eyes were steady and he inclined his head slightly. "Thanks."

Sirius, with a not-too-discreet wink at Gwen, said, "Soooo, Gwen, why don't we go up and celebrate? I really think that catch should go on your top ten, don't you?" He slung an arm around her shoulders and started to tow her away; the look on Gwen's face as she watched Lily and James standing together reminded Lily of what she wanted to do. She turned to run after the two, but James caught her wrist.

"Can we talk, Lily?"

Lily's heart sped up. _Oh, dear. _She looked after Gwen, whose head was bowed slightly as Sirius rambled on, and then turned back to James, feeling slightly panicked. "I've got to-"

"I just want to talk," he said, and Lily's protestations died in her throat.

"All right," she said, and he released her wrist. "But first, I wanted to tell you about Dorcas. She's not a junior Death Eater or whatever you want to call them."

James's brows furrowed and Lily went on, feeling more confident now that she was on safe ground. "She went to the first meeting and then told Dumbledore – that's how he knows." She looked around, just as a precaution, and lowered her voice. "She's a spy now for Dumbledore's secret society."

James raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Well, you could've fooled me," he said. "How did you come to talking about this?"

"She thought I didn't like her anymore," Lily said, feeling guilty, "which I suppose was true. But anyway, she told me she saw me back in the common room before I followed her."

"That's what's handy about having an Invisibility Cloak."

He was _joking_. He hadn't joked in too long. Lily grinned. "Well, not everyone is as lucky as you, Mr. Potter."

James smiled – not full-fledged, but a big one anyway – and cleared his throat. "I'm glad that's all resolved. She's – better – than I thought. I want to ask Dumbledore about it, though, just to make sure. Is that okay?"

Lily shrugged. "She knows about the society. D'you think that's enough?" She felt a bit miffed that James didn't take her word for it. "I mean, she told Dumbledore about the meetings. How else would she know?"

"You're probably right, I just want to make sure."

Lily shrugged again and snuck a glance over her shoulder; if they went now, they could catch up to Sirius and Gwen easily. "Should we-"

"Hold on just a second," James said teasingly. "Unless, of course, you have a pressing engagement this afternoon?"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "No," she said slowly.

"Good."

Lily watched as he took his broomstick from where it was resting on his shoulder and held it out. It took her a moment to realize he was handing it to her.

"Wait – no."

He smiled larger – it could almost have classified as a grin – and dropped the expensive broom onto the ground. "I'm your teacher, Miss Evans. The Quidditch teacher you never had. Now, say 'Up!'"

Lily stared at him. "But I-"

"Don't say you can't do it," James said patiently. "Hold your hand over it and tell it to jump up."

Lily held her ground for a moment before reluctantly smiling and stepping up next to the broom. She held her hand over it and said confidently, "Up!"

And, to her extreme and utter surprise, the broom did exactly as it was told and jumped all the way up into her hand. She was so amazed that she lost her balance and nearly fell over.

"Very good, Miss Evans," James said as he gripped her upper arm and helped her to steady herself. "All right, there?"

Lily grinned at herself and fixed a mock-anxious look on her face. "What do I do now, Professor Potter?"

James grasped an imaginary broom and mimed mounting it. "Swing your leg over it, like a horse."

Lily did so while looking at him curiously. "You've ridden a horse before?"

James nodded. "My mother's uncle's a squib, and when he found out he couldn't go to Hogwarts, he decided he wanted to raise horses. My mother grew up riding them and she made me take lessons with him when I was younger. I still go out there during the summers sometimes."

Lily nodded. "That's cool," she said, and smiled. "I don't know why I'm surprised."

James smiled and shrugged and turned back to his imaginary broom. "Right, Miss Evans, enough small talk. D'you remember how to hold the broom?"

"Erm – like this?"

"Frankly, Miss Evans, I really wonder how you remember every Charm we did first year, and yet you forget how to properly hold a broom," James admonished. He dismounted from his imaginary broom and went over to Lily, who was clutching the handle and trying not to lose her balance and slide off.

"Thank you for your encouraging praise, Professor," Lily said through gritted teeth. She tried to remain neutral as James stepped close and rearranged her fingers on the broom.

"Right, now, Miss Evans, you know what to do. Kick off."

Lily looked at him as he stepped back, and she turned then back to the broom skeptically. She sighed, told herself "What the hell," and pushed off ever so slightly from the ground. The broom rose a foot off the ground and started gently floating forward. Lily scrambled to keep her balance and, once she had, smiled in triumph. This wasn't bad at all! In fact, she was quite beginning to enjoy herself. Who needed to zoom around when you could gently float?

"Having fun, Miss Evans?"

Lily glared at James. He was walking leisurely beside her, hands in his robe pockets, doing his best to look bored. "Yes, thanks, I am."

He shook his head in mock sadness and grabbed hold of the front of the broom, effectively stopping it. It floated slowly to the ground, and Lily tried not to breathe a sigh of relief when her feet touched solid earth.

"Miss Evans, you shame me. When I said "kick off", I didn't mean to bend your knees slightly and push. I meant _kick off_."

Lily glared at him even more. She gave him an arch look, gripped the broom, bent her knees exaggeratedly, and shoved herself off from the ground.

She didn't know what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn't to go shooting off straight into the air at sixty miles per hour. She had just enough wits to come to a stop fifty feet above the pitch, but then could do nothing more. She was frozen.

_There's nothing between me and being squashed into the ground like a bug._

James cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted something, but she merely shook her head. She clearly heard him laughing, and while the sound warmed her heart, she couldn't think of much else but her own misery at the moment. He ran off into the locker rooms and returned a moment later with a broom. As easily as you please, he jumped onto the broom and soared up to her, grinning like an idiot, shoulders shaking in laughter.

"You didn't tell me what to do when I got up," Lily told him through gritted teeth as he drew even with her. This made him laugh even more as he slid onto his broom behind her, carrying the other broom under his left arm, which was also wrapped tightly around Lily's waist, and grasping the broom handle in front of Lily with his right. Lily wasn't too frozen in fear to feel the heat of James's body behind her, the comforting tingles that the arm around her waist was giving her, and the feeling of his warm hand overtop of hers as they soared down easily to earth. The second Lily's feet touched she slid off, let her knees collapse, and fell down into the short grass, eyes closed against the glare of the sun above her.

A shadow fell across her face and she opened an eye. James was looming over her, his hair falling into his eyes, and he was _still_ laughing.

Quite without warning, Lily felt a bubble of laughter well up within her as well. Soon she was gasping for air, her stomach muscles straining as she curled up in mirth. James fell down beside her and they laughed for what seemed an hour, completely at peace with the world and each other.

When her hilarity had subsided, Lily lifted up on her elbows and looked at James, who was still chuckling. "I told you," she said, and then fell back again, smiling at the sky.

"I can't deny it," James said, turning his face towards her. "But dear Lord, if I had known you'd freeze up like that…" And he was off again laughing.

Lily smacked him smartly on the head, which made him laugh harder, and said dryly, "If you ever interview for a teaching position here be sure I'll fight against it."

"No," he said, getting his breath back, "no, don't worry about that, Miss Evans. Maybe when I'm old and gray I'll start teaching, but only then." They sat in companionable silence for a moment – Lily soaking up the marginally warm sun – until James broke it. "And you want to be a Healer?"

Lily nodded, eyes still closed. "Yeah, I do."

"Any particular reason why?"

Lily shrugged. "I've always wanted to be a doctor, which is a Muggle name for a Healer."

"I know," James said. "But Healing – why not just be a Mediwitch? A Healer takes longer to study for, doesn't it?"

Lily smiled wryly. "I've never settled for the easy way. Bring on the books, I say. And why do _you_, Professor, want to be an Auror? Is it just because of…?"

"My dad? Yes, mostly," James said, sobering up quickly. "But he never – he never really encouraged me in that. He always asked if I'd rather be a professional Quidditch player or something. I think he knew what was – what was coming."

Lily reached out; she felt along the frozen, dead grass and slid her hand into his as if it were the most natural thing in the world. James threaded their fingers together and gently stroked the side of her hand with one big thumb. She wriggled a bit closer as inconspicuously as she could, all the while feeling her chest tighten and stomach flutter as she breathed; James noticed and scooted in closer until their shoulders were touching.

And so they remained for the rest of the afternoon, hands clasped and shoulders touching, sometimes talking and sometimes just lying there. They spoke about their childhoods until James could talk freely about his father without getting choked up and Lily could talk about her sister without sounding bitter. It was Lily's favorite afternoon so far that year, lying there and enjoying the new sensations reverberating through her body. She was mightily confused, but one thought ran clear – she had never felt like _that_ before with _anyone_. The sky hadn't ever been so perfectly blue and clear, had it? And it hadn't ever been that warm in February, she was sure. There had never been a more perfect day, had there?

Then they fell silent and simply watched as the sun set over the lake and the sky deepened to a dark blue. As the sun went down, however, it got colder, and though Lily had a cloak, she felt a slight shiver pass through her at one point. Unhesitatingly James untangled his fingers from hers and put his arm around her; Lily moved closer so her cheek rested just below his collarbone. She couldn't help the sigh of contentment that escaped her lips as she dozed off.

When she woke up again, it was because James was gently shaking her. The sky was completely black with stars dotting it everywhere, and it was cold. "We've got to go," he said, barely covering up a yawn as he sat up and held Lily upright, grabbing his broom.

"Mmmhmm," she murmured tiredly, reaching for his hand, and together they stumbled in near darkness up the sloping lawn and to the castle doors. Once safely inside, James went over to the big grandfather clock to look, and Lily went with him – she was half afraid that if they stopped touching the evening would break – and James cursed with a grin as he turned around.

"After eight," he said, and Lily giggled in astonishment.

"Oh no, our friends are going to wonder, we've been out since one…."

James raised an eyebrow as they shuffled across the flagged stone floor to the marble staircase. "They can wonder all they want," he said, and squeezed her hand. Lily giggled as they hurried up the stairs. James led her through all sorts of secret passages the moment they left the marble stairs, although this time it was a bit harder going with James's broom and their clasped hands. They let go only when they arrived at the short stairs that would lead them up to the small portrait hole and the drop down; James went first and then held out his hand to Lily as she dropped.

"Dragonhide gloves!" James yelled at the Fat Lady, who was dozing lightly. She swung open without a word and allowed the two to pass. They crawled through the portrait hole and immediately clasped hands again. They stood in front of the hole for a moment, just looking at each other, and then James took a breath. The common room was not very full, and but for a noisy group of fourth years at the opposite corner of the room, Lily thought they were alone. "Lily, I-"

"_There_ you are."

Lily's stomach dropped. Obstructed by pieces of furniture, she had missed the two raven-haired people sitting before the fire – Gwen and Sirius. Sirius was walking towards them, grinning slyly, and winked roguishly at Lily. "We were just about to send out a search party."

Lily looked to where Gwen was standing, looking tired and a bit lost. She turned back to James, who was glaring at Sirius as if wishing him to turn into a pile of ashes, and squeezed his hand wordlessly before going over to Gwen.

"Are you – d'you want to go up?" she asked with slight hesitation.

Gwen looked her straight on and nodded before sweeping past towards the girls' stairs; Lily hurried after her, pausing only once to look back over her shoulder. James was whispering furiously to his best friend, who was doubled up in stifled laughter, but he happened to look up for a moment and their eyes met. Lily smiled at him slightly, turned, and rushed up the stone steps.

Gwen was going up at a decorous pace and didn't even glance at Lily when she drew even with her. "Gwen – Gwen," Lily panted.

Gwen's gaze was cool and controlled. "Had fun today, then?"

"Well – I – that is-"

"I saw you out the window, you know." Her tone was as chilly and distant as her stare, though Lily thought she detected a hint of sadness. "You looked to be quite enjoying yourself."

"Gwen, I-"

"But what I want to know," Gwen continued, as though Lily hadn't spoken, "is what happened to the 'lazy, inane, trouble-making, cocky, egotistical, immature bloody bastard' that you talked about so fondly just a few months ago."

"But we-"

"If I didn't know better, Lily Evans, I'd say you were in lo-"

"Gwen!"

Gwen stopped short and clamped her mouth together. Lily drew even with her on the stair and their eyes – which matched together at the same height – locked, Gwen's challenging, Lily's angry. "_Stop it_."

Gwen's eyebrows flicked ever so slightly up, but besides that, she did nothing, just continued staring coolly at Lily.

"You haven't been honest with me," Lily continued, as steadily as she could; Gwen's gaze was unnerving her. "You haven't, and you know it. Say it right now."

A flicker of understanding went through her blue eyes, and she was silent for so long a moment that Lily feared she wouldn't speak at all. And then she swallowed and lifted her chin higher in the air. "I like James."

"Like him?"

For the first time, Gwen's steely resolve melted slightly and she closed her eyes. When she opened them again they glimmered with tears. "I'm in love with James."

Lily swallowed. There it was, out in the open. Her heart felt like it was being torn in two and she closed her own eyes briefly, searching for strength. "That's what I thought," she whispered. They stood silently, each not moving a muscle, for what seemed like an hour, before Lily opened her eyes. A single tear was making its way down Gwen's porcelain cheek. Lily couldn't force her throat to talk.

When Gwen opened her own eyes, Lily had to stifle a gasp at the depth of emotion hidden within them. "And he's in love with you," she said softly, painfully.

Lily could do nothing but let her own tears run free. She knew it was true, knew he was in love with her. But as for herself – well, she wasn't sure yet. Everything she wanted to say was wrong, even the thing she knew she had to say – that she didn't love him back, that Gwen could have him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered finally. Gwen nodded wordlessly and turned away from Lily up the stairs and to their room. Lily heard the door open and close, but she couldn't make herself move. She sat down on the cold stone and stared at the wall opposite until her eyes were blind with tears.


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Lily awoke the next morning with a plan formed in her head.

She got up, dressed, and walked down into the common room to find Gwen, who wasn't in her bed. James was in his usual spot and he waved to her; she pretended she didn't notice (which made her heart thump sadly) and continued in her hunt.

After a cursory look round common room (except in the corner where the Marauders were talking), Lily decided to search somewhere else. The force keeping her going was the almost, but not quite, irrational fear that if she didn't find Gwen things would never be the same again between them. Gwen had been Lily's first real friend; without Gwen, she would be a school-obsessed swot, and Lily knew it.

She made her way over to the portrait hole and jumped a foot when someone's hand closed around her arm. She knew it was James, and her breath caught in her throat.

"Lily?"

She turned around slowly to face him. He looked as confused as she felt. "Hi, James – have you seen Gwen?"

A flicker of – of something went through his eyes at her impersonal greeting. He dropped her arm like a hot coal. "No, not today."

"Oh, all right, thanks, then," Lily said as steadily as she could, and she turned to climb through the portrait hole.

"Wait, Lily," James blurted, and Lily turned around again. He blushed slightly but kept his eyes focused on her face. "I – erm – how – how are you?"

Lily's heart was drumming against her chest, and she swallowed hard. "I'm fine," she said quietly. "I – I need to find Gwen."

He stared at her for a long moment with his deep brown eyes before nodding in acquiescence. "Right, okay. I just, you know, wanted to talk for a bit. With you."

Lily nodded back at him, her eyes focused on his left shoulder. "All right," she said with false brightness. "I'll talk to you later, then."

He didn't say anything, just stared at her for a minute more before nodding again. "Later. Okay."

Lily made a noncommittal noise and turned around. She had the strange feeling he was staring at her the whole time as she went down to the library. It was irritating, and she felt her temper shorten.

After a few minutes of fruitless searching in the library, she stomped down into the entrance hall and stood for a moment, thinking. Where the hell was Gwen? There were only a few places she could be! Unless….

Lily wheeled around and pushed open the big front doors. She walked down the stone steps and stopped, surveying the beautiful grounds. The Quidditch pitch was clearly visible, and she could see that a lone person was speeding around the pitch on a broomstick. The long black hair gave away the identity of the flyer instantly, and Lily headed down to the pitch as quickly as she could. She was running through ways to start a conversation – assuming, of course, that Gwen did want to talk – and decided to start out casually and then work her way to the hard items. She hoped Gwen would catch on to what she really wanted to talk about.

When she ran onto the pitch, Gwen was on the opposite side of the field (hopefully not intentionally) and Lily waved her arms and shouted, hoping to get her attention. She seemed to move in slow motion as she turned, recognized Lily, and flew over to her, landing gracefully a safe distance away. She didn't move, and Lily cleared her throat nervously.

"Em…. I – I just wanted to come and…."

Gwen remained silent, apparently immune to Lily's pathetic attempt at starting a conversation. "I wanted to ask if – if you were, erm, okay? And I also wanted to just say that I – I hate it when you're mad at me, and I really hope that we can work something out between us because you're my best friend, and like I said, I hate it when we argue and-"

"Lily, it's okay."

Lily stopped talking abruptly. She had been blathering on like a mindless idiot, and she had just been saved from blurting out something very stupid and potentially embarrassing.

"Oh. All right, then."

Gwen gave her a tiny smile and shook her head. "I was thinking that we should work this out as well. I hate arguing with you, too."

Lily's face broke into a relieved smile. "That's great to hear, Gwen. I'll do anything, really."

"Me too."

They paused, smiling at each other dumbly, before Gwen cleared her throat and looked down. "I just wanted to say-"

"I hope that you're-"

They stopped short and laughed. "You go," she told Lily.

"No, you."

Gwen shrugged, still smiling, and said, "I just wanted to say that it was silly for me to overreact like that. You've hated James for so long – how could a few weeks change that? I realized how completely mad it was for me to think that you liked him more than as a friend. Which I'm really glad you are; I mean, you know? Friends."

Lily's stomach had slowly been sinking during Gwen's rush of words, though she kept her confused thoughts separate from the smile plastered onto her face. "Yes, friends. Just friends."

Gwen beamed happily. "What did you want to say, then?"

Lily had been about to say, "I hope that you're okay with James and me," but decided that she didn't want to anymore for reasons she didn't care to think about. "Nothing," she told her best friend, going forward to hug her. "Nothing at all."

Lily found, as time progressed, that if she pretended that time on the pitch with James hadn't happened then she actually started to believe it. The stupid way her heart leapt whenever she happened to glance at him and how she found herself unable to breathe when he looked at her with his piercing eyes during their weekly meeting (and other times when he though she didn't notice him) she dismissed as silly, meaningless teenage hormones. But she couldn't as easily dismiss the feeling of emptiness and despair that stole over her when he stopped looking and stopped going out of his way to speak to her. She convinced herself that she was doing the right thing – it was for Gwen.

Still, her "silly, meaningless teenage hormones" had a mind of their own. When she was on her way to the classroom of the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Jones, for an extra test review session and was so caught up in a novel she had found in the library that she didn't realize she had entered into the wrong room, her senses went haywire. She had managed to walk in on James and a Hufflepuff with bright red hair named Laura Erwin, and they certainly hadn't been studying.

She didn't know why it hit her so hard. Of course James had girlfriends – had she expected him to keep pining over her like he had (according to Gwen) for nearly all of their years at Hogwarts?

The second Lily stepped off the Hogwarts Express for the Easter break and spotted her parents, her mother knew something was wrong.

"Are you all right, dearest?" she asked worriedly, pulling back from their hug and smoothing Lily's hair back from her forehead as she had done so many times in the past. Suddenly, within the comforting safety of her mother's arms, Lily felt that her floodgates were about to burst.

"Bob, fetch a trolley, will you?" Mrs. Evans instructed her husband quickly, "Lily and I will meet you at the car." Mr. Evans obeyed with only slight hesitation. Mrs. Evans escorted her youngest daughter out of King's Cross Station and to the car as speedily as she could. Only then, when they were both in the back seat and away from the curious gazes of her schoolmates, did Lily let herself burst into tears.

When she had caught her breath after a few solid minutes of crying, she tried to answer Mrs. Evans's worried queries as best as she could and as far away from the truth as she could manage without giving herself away. Mrs. Evans skeptically bought the N.E.W.T. excuse (and Lily threw in the now almost ancient fight with Gwen for good measure) and said no more about her daughter's curious outburst when Mr. Evans arrived at the car. She instead chatted happily about Petunia's wedding plans.

"You'll be fitted for your gown on Tuesday, like I said in the letter I wrote, and did you know that Petty's decided on pink and yellow for the bridesmaids?"

Lily, who had been listening with half her ear while staring out the window and making occasional noises of interest, turned her whole attention to her mother. "What? Petunia's decided on yellow and pink?"

Mrs. Evans grimaced slightly and turned around to look at Lily. "Darling, her other three bridesmaids are brunettes and Sarah, of course, is a blond. I know you don't like those colors, but I bet these gowns will surprise you! Petty really was concerned, but she _so_ wanted pink and yellow, and I couldn't argue….Are you terribly upset?"

Lily shrugged. "It's Petunia's wedding, not mine," she said resignedly.

Her father chuckled. "What a good sport, sacrificing yourself for your sister," he teased. Lily couldn't help but smile at him in the rearview mirror, even though she knew positively that, while Petunia probably really had liked the gowns, a large part of choosing them had been because pink and yellow certainly weren't Lily's colors. Lily shuddered slightly; she could only imagine what confection Petunia would force her into.

Mrs. Evans patted Lily's knee. "It's so wonderful to have you back, love. The house is so empty nowadays."

Lily smiled at her and cleared her throat. "When's the big day, then? I forgot."

Mrs. Evans frowned slightly. "Darling, I've told you at least three times – August twentieth."

Lily stared at her. "But, Mum, it's only _April_."

"Yes, I know!"

"Why couldn't I have been fitted for my gown in _June?_"

"Because, darling, that wouldn't leave nearly enough time for alterations. We've only got four more months!"

"Four months, eleven days, and…half an hour, to be exact," Mr. Evans interjected. "Petty's been keeping a countdown."

Lily had to resist rolling her eyes. Her wedding (if she ever got married) certainly wouldn't involve a countdown of any sort.

"We had a spot of trouble finding a partner for you, Lily," her mother was saying, "but it just so happens that Vernon has a cousin your age! Isn't that lucky?"

Lily paled as an image of a younger Vernon Dursley popped into her head, and she had to resist the urge to throw up the Cauldron Cake and numerous Chocolate Frogs she had consumed on the train. "Have you, er, met him, Mum?"

Mrs. Evans read her child's brain. "Now, Lily, I know Vernon isn't exactly your cup of tea, but he's such a charming young man-"

"Mum … have. You. Met. The cousin."

Mrs. Evans pursed her lips. "I don't appreciate your attitude, young lady-"

"We have," Mr. Evans said solemnly from the driver's seat. "He and Vernon could be brothers."

Lily groaned and dropped her head into her hands as Mrs. Evans said sharply, "Bob, that isn't funny!" and Mr. Evans burst out laughing. "Stop it, both of you! Lily, James is a very nice young man, if a bit-"

"His name is James?" Lily interrupted, her head jerking up from her hands, suddenly alert. Mrs. Evans fell silent, and by the flash of understanding that passed through her blue eyes, Lily knew she understood that Lily's "breakdown" had something to do with James Potter. Hopefully she thought they still hated each other. Lily frantically searched her brain to try and remember if she had written anything about her and James's brief friendship in any owls to her mother.

Mrs. Evans cleared her throat and began talking about other aspects of the wedding, and Lily didn't even try to pretend she was listening. By the time they pulled into the driveway an hour later, Lily was convinced that the fact that her date's name was James was a sign. She couldn't (didn't want to) figure out what the sign meant.

The next day, Sunday, the Evans family dressed in their best, went to the customary Easter Sunday service at church, and then drove ten minutes to the home of Janice and Edward Dursley for brunch.

Lily scowled horribly at her mother as they got out of the car, and each carrying a dish of something, walked up the extremely tidy front walk and rang the bell. Brunch with the Dursley family had been sprung upon Lily very late the previous night, and suffice to say, Lily wasn't very excited about it. Sarah and her perfect fiancé would be making appearances and Lily would meet her partner, James. How exciting. Luckily, Grandmummy was also slated to be there, so Lily would have someone with whom to talk. Hopefully James wouldn't be too interested in her-

"Petty!"

Petunia had answered the door. Her blond hair was immaculate and her peach suit was perfectly matched, down to the orangey-pink fingernail polish. The hulking form of Vernon hovered behind her.

Any doubts Lily had about the gowns being chosen by Petunia on purpose were immediately extinguished when Petunia threw her arms around her younger sister and whispered with considerable venom into her ear, "So sorry about the gown, Lily _dear_est, but you'll survive, right?"

"How precious!" Mrs. Evans was exclaiming as she watched her two daughters embracing from the front hall. She absently kissed Vernon on the cheek, eyes pinned on the two, and beamed at Lily and Petunia. "You both should spend more time together, I think."

It was all Lily could do to keep from shoving Petunia down the front steps and running all the way to Gwen's house. Somehow she managed not to, even though she was forced to meet Petunia's future mother- and father-in-law – both were the size of blimps; Mr. Dursley's weight even surpassed that of his son (a feat Lily hadn't considered possible) – and subjected to snide comments made by Sarah about where Lily would be attending university the following year. Perhaps the most horrible relative Lily had to meet, however, was Vernon's sister, and one of Petunia's bridesmaids, Marge.

She was at least three-quarters Vernon's size and had a mustache to boot. A handbag the size of a large suitcase was hanging on her arm; Lily noticed with alarm that the "handbag" was moving of its own accord.

Marge shook Lily's hand so hard Lily felt the bones grind together, but she didn't cry out. Marge looked at her appraisingly for a moment before saying in a fittingly low, loud voice, "Got any dogs, Lily?"

Lily couldn't help it when her eyebrows shot up. "Erm – no. No, I haven't."

Marge grunted in contempt. "Got seven myself. Wonderful creatures. Brought my favorite."

And she withdrew from her enormous handbag a hulking bulldog; it had drool running down its chin and large, protruding teeth. The dog growled at Lily, who took a step backwards.

Marge shook the dog and said loudly, "Now, Killer, I won't take any of your nonsense, d'you hear? You can pet him, if you want," she barked at Lily.

Lily cleared her throat and reached a hesitating hand out to Killer's head. The dog bared its fangs in a growl, and Lily jerked her hand back quickly.

Marge frowned at her dog. "Must be feeling out of temper," she muttered. "Pardon me, Lily," she told the redhead and walked briskly towards the door. Lily shuddered and took refuge behind the food table, praying no one would come and talk to her.

The moment Grandmummy arrived Lily abandoned her food and attached herself to the sprightly old woman for the remainder of the party. The only time she had to leave her side was to meet James.

Lily was tall; she towered over most girls – except Gwen, who was her height – but rarely ever boys her age, and yet she found she was easily a head higher than James Price, Mrs. Dursley's nephew. The shocking thing about it was James was a first-year student at university, two years older than Lily, who would have put him at around thirteen if pressed. He was nice enough, though, and obviously not very interested in Lily, which was how she preferred it. She had to smile when she rejoined her grandmother.

"If you marry him, Lily Marie, I'll have your head," Grandmummy said almost mildly as she bit into a delicate tea sandwich.

Lily looked at her grandmother, lips twitching. "Really? I think he's quite fetching, Grandmummy."

Grandmummy shook her head, her green eyes sparkling, and laid a dry, wrinkly hand on Lily's knee. "You deserve much better, darling," she said, and patted the knee before going back to her plate of food. Lily wondered unconsciously if James Potter would pass her test and instantly clapped a hand to her mouth, horrified. What had brought _that_ on?

The following Tuesday, Lily was woken up by a very excited Mrs. Evans and force-fed toast and jam before being hurried into the car. This was the day Lily would get to see her dress. She went into the posh bridal store with a determined cheeriness; it didn't matter what the dress looked like. It wasn't as though Lily would be showing it to anyone she knew. She greeted her sister with a genuine smile and then saw… it.

It was worse than she ever could have imagined.

Petunia smiled sweetly for the benefit of Mrs. Evans and Mrs. Dursley, who were in paroxysms of delight, as she held the dress out to her younger sibling. Lily could do nothing but stare at it in horror. It was silk, short, and had a fluffy skirt of bright pink. Truly horrible yellow lace was laid over the bright pink, and the sleeves were impossibly pink and puffy with a yellow bow on each shoulder. The satin pumps were dyed to match the yellow. Overall, it made Lily want to puke – or throw herself off a cliff.

The three mad women, plus Sarah and the other bridesmaids (Marge Dursley and a giggly brunette that Petunia knew from university), pushed Lily into a dressing room and locked her in, calling for her to try it on. Lily slowly undressed and pulled the hideous monstrosity on. She waited until she couldn't bear their whining – "Lily, hurry up!" "You're spoiling the fun, Lily!" – and the barking of Marge's dog anymore before pushing open the door. Five women, all of them except Petunia, blinked at her before plastering very phony smiles on their faces. The bride-to-be smiled smugly and marched up to her sister to fix the lace overlay.

"It looks fabulous on you, Lils!" she exclaimed, and the others made similar noises of fake agreement. Mrs. Evans tucked a stray piece of hair behind Lily's ear and fluffed the bow on her left shoulder.

"With your hair down, I think you'll look positively stupendous!" Sarah was gushing. She pushed Lily towards the mirror; it was all Lily could do to not throw up at her reflection. She looked like a cherry cupcake.

"Don't you like it, Lily?" Petunia asked, feigning a wounded look. Mrs. Evans gave Lily an unmistakable glare of warning, and Lily forced herself to smile.

"It couldn't be more perfect, Petunia."

"Lils?"

Lily started violently and clapped a hand to her heart as she whipped her head around. "Oh, Gwen, it's just you."

Gwen stepped out of the fireplace with her eyebrows raised. "Yes, just me," she said teasingly, but her grin soon began to fall. "D'you – d'you have anything to do just now?"

Lily was seated in a comfortable chair in the family room reading one of her favorite childhood books – _Little Women_ – with her trunk and various packages clustered in a corner in preparation for her journey back to school the next day. Since the two had just seen each other the day before, Lily's brows creased. "No, I haven't got anything to do. Is everything all right, Gwen?"

Gwen perched on the nearby sofa and kicked off her shoes. "Yes. No. Oh God, I dunno," she sighed, rubbing her forehead.

Lily got up from her chair and sat beside her friend, looking at her curiously as she folded her legs beneath her. "Did the family thing go all right?"

Gwen shook her head. "It's almost been three months since Uncle Will died, did you know? And so it wasn't the liveliest of dinners….But then, they never really are….Oh God, I'm just going to come right out and say it – Sirius kissed me."

Lily's jaw dropped. "_What?_"

"We just – Oh, Lily, I don't know what happened! One minute we were talking, the next-" She shrugged helplessly.

"Well – I – what – did you push him away?" Lily spluttered. Gwen and Sirius? But they couldn't stand each other!

Gwen's eyes sparkled and a reluctant grin broke out on her face. "No, not exactly."

Lily's eyebrows shot to the ceiling as her mouth dropped to the floor. All she could do was gape at her best friend and take in her happily stunned expression.

"I don't hate him anymore," Gwen added, and reached over to push Lily's chin up.

Lily shut her mouth with a snap and slowly lowered her eyebrows. "I – well, I don't – I don't really know what to say, Gwen. You've always been mad, but this takes the cake."

Gwen was entirely unruffled by the insult. "I know. It just – it felt really, you know, _right_. Like I was supposed to be standing there kissing him all my life. You won't tell, will you?"

Lily shook her head and was about to ask another question when a thought struck her so hard her head spun. "But – what about-"

"James?" Gwen asked, raising one black eyebrow. "That's the thing, Lily. I don't think I like him anymore. He's, well, not Sirius."

All Lily could do was stare at her. "But – but you're in love with James."

Gwen shook her head. "I'm not. Not anymore. Hell, I don't know if I ever was. I mean, it's not like we ever kissed or anything; he's never been interested in me." She fixed Lily with a level gaze. "It's always been you."

Lily swallowed convulsively.

Gwen took a deep breath. "Which brings me to the next part of this – the apology."

Lily started to hold up her hand and tell her not to, but Gwen cut her off sharply. "Stop. I _need_ to apologize. I've been a selfish prat, Lily. I can tell as plain as day that you like him, and I was so jealous that he liked you back that I couldn't stand it. All I can do is say I'm so, so sorry and hope that you don't hate me. _I_ would hate me if I were you."

Lily smiled. "It's okay, Gwen. Really, it is."

Gwen looked at her doubtfully. "You always say that, even when it's obviously not okay. Tell me the truth, Lily."

Lily shrugged and looked down. "I'm as confused as you, Gwen. I just – I don't know."

"I'm terrified to face Sirius again," Gwen confided solemnly. "I'm scared he'll say, 'Oops, sorry, it was a mistake, I've got a girlfriend,' and that'll be that."

Lily shook her head, but inside her heart was soaring. Gwen didn't like James anymore. But what, then, could Lily do about it? She'd practically ignored him and then there'd been the run in with him and Laura Erwin.

Gwen was looking at her shrewdly. "It's okay, Lily, if you're worried about anything. I'm pretty sure James is still, you know…."

Lily looked at her best friend, dangerously close to blurting out the scene she'd witnessed in Professor Jones's room. She hadn't told Gwen (or anyone, for that matter) before because she'd thought it would upset her too much. But now….

"I walked in on him. He and that Hufflepuff, Laura. They were…you know."

Realization dawned in Gwen's blue eyes, only to be quickly replaced by confusion. "Oh. I – well….I'm sure it was just…."

Lily shrugged, feigning indifference, though she had been hoping against hope that Gwen would be able to dismiss the incident as nothing.

"Well, I say, who needs boys anyway?" Gwen said with a rather strained smile.

Lily forced a laugh and said, "I don't know. Not me."

"Lily?"

Lily jerked out of her thoughts and shook her head. She'd been staring down at her piece of parchment, trying to build up the courage to tell James something – anything – that would let him know that she hadn't given up on him. That she hoped he hadn't given up on her.

They were sitting in the library at their usual table, discussing the usual things for their Wednesday meeting. Lily wondered with a flush how long he'd been trying to get her attention; he was staring at her as if she'd grown horns.

"Sorry. I was just, erm, thinking."

He remained distant, like he had since their little talk on the pitch. Her heart fluttered madly when he reached up to push a lock of black hair away from his face. Not that her heart wasn't fluttering insanely anyway from just sitting across from him.

When he made no move to speak, Lily cleared her throat and asked casually, "How was your holiday?"

He shrugged. "It was pretty good. What about yours?" he asked politely.

She was dying to see him smile. "Well," she began with a straight face, "I met my escort to my sister's wedding."

One of his eyebrows raised just a fraction. "Did you?" he asked. She hoped he was more interested than he sounded.

"I did," she confirmed. "He's quite a looker."

Now his eyebrows definitely rose, and a glimmer of something flashed through his eyes. "Is he?"

"Yes. Well, if you like four-foot-tall blokes with three chins, that is."

His lips turned up slowly into a smile and he seemed to relax. "I see. And do _you_ like four-foot-tall blokes with three chins?"

Oh, dear heaven, he was flirting with her.

"No, I prefer them to have four chins myself."

His smile increased – it could almost be called a grin – and he leaned forward slightly, his eyes sparkling. "And what, pray tell, is this godly male specimen's name?"

"James, actually," Lily said, and her own face broke out into a smile.

His eyes widened behind his glasses and his smile turned incredulous. "Is it really?"

Lily nodded. "I swear," she said, laying a hand solemnly over her heart.

"And this is for your sister's wedding?"

Lily rolled her eyes. It felt good to be able to actually roll them instead of suppressing the urge, which is what she'd had to do over the holiday whenever anyone started yammering on about the upcoming nuptials. "Unfortunately, yes. I have the honor of being a bridesmaid; my wonderfully caring sister decided to choose the ugliest possible gowns for me and my fellow sufferers." Lily wrinkled her nose in distaste.

James opened his mouth to say something, seemed to change his mind, and shut it again. He cleared his throat before speaking. "When is she getting married?"

"Not 'til August. Why I couldn't have waited to be fitted for my dress after school's over I still don't understand." Lily shook her head.

James chuckled. "Did you see Gwen a lot?"

Lily tensed involuntarily. "A bit," she answered, not meeting his eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, and his tone – curiously concerned – caused her eyes to dart up to meet his.

She was about to say that nothing was wrong, everything was fine, but at that moment his leg brushed against hers under the table and she froze as a bolt of electricity shot through her. She decided she couldn't ignore it anymore.

"I – yes, actually, something's wrong." She took a deep breath and forced herself to look at him. "I want to apologize."

He frowned and Lily could tell he understood where she was going. "There's nothing to apologize about."

"There is," she said firmly. "I … ignored you. Which isn't what I wanted, really, but it's just – I thought …. Gwen told me she liked you. That she had for ages, and I didn't want to…." _Oh, bollocks, why is this so hard? _

He was staring at her with dawning comprehension. "And so you ignored me because you thought she would get upset?"

Lily swallowed, blushing. "Yeah."

"And Gwen – she likes me?" His tone was incredulous.

Lily was glad to get the subject away from herself. "Not anymore. She and Sirius – oh, no!" Lily said, clapping a hand over her mouth. Gwen had told her not to tell.

James gaped at her. "Gwen and Sirius _what?_"

Lily shook her head, hands still clamped over her mouth. "I told her I wouldn't tell," she said, her voice muffled.

James, however, wasn't listening; he was staring at her with incredulous amusement, and his eyes were glimmering mischievously. He slowly shook his head and grinned. "That devil. He kissed her, didn't he?"

Lily lowered her hands in defeat. "Yes. Well, they kissed each other."

"Where was this, now?" His grin was infectious.

"In your house, actually. Day before yesterday."

James burst out laughing. "No wonder – no wonder! They left to go find some brooms so we could play and came back looking like they'd run a marathon. Dear God, and I didn't even suspect-"

A very funny mental picture of Gwen and Sirius, their hair mussed and faces red, appearing before James and telling him they'd found the brooms surfaced in Lily's brain as she laughed along with him.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans! Really, I expected better of two such model students!" Madam Porter, the librarian, was looming over them, her plump face an odd color of puce as she wrinkled it up to yell at them. "If you cannot behave as the rules of the library dictate – which is, of course, to be quiet – then I must ask you to kindly leave!"

Lily and James didn't look at each other as they gathered their materials and hurried out of the library, but once outside, they burst into laughter again.

"Oh, God," James gasped, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes as they calmed down, "I haven't laughed so much in ages."

Laughter was escaping Lily in short bursts, and she, too, had to blot at her eyes. "I've never been kicked out of the library before."

James grinned at her sideways. "You haven't lived until you've been kicked out of the library," he told her, eyes sparkling.

"So, where do we go from here?" she asked, trying to straighten out her wrinkled robes. During the short pause that followed her question, heat flooded into Lily's face and she realized her question had a double meaning. She'd meant it literally, but now, as she looked up into his face, she wasn't quite sure how she wanted him to respond.

"D'you – d'you want to talk more?" he asked abruptly, and Lily broke their eye contact as she came to her senses. She'd been lost for a moment – hopelessly lost – in his eyes, and she had found herself wondering what it would be like to-

"Hey, Lily!"

Lily closed her eyes briefly and stifled a moan. _Great! Just lovely!_ Mary Katherine had perfect timing. Lily turned around slowly, managed a smile (which she knew probably looked more like a grimace), and watched as Mary Katherine jogged up to her. She heard James shift uncomfortably behind her.

"Oh, what luck! Were you just leaving?" Mary Katherine asked as she drew even with the pair. Her eyes glanced behind Lily and then she did an obvious double-take. "_James?_" She looked back at Lily incredulously.

"We were just coming back from our Head Boy-Head Girl meeting," Lily said; her tone sounded guilty to her own ears, and she wondered how it sounded to his.

"Ohhhh, right," Mary Katherine said, nodding. She smiled and shook her head. "I thought for a second you two were hanging out or something! How stupid!"

Lily's laugh was so very false that she almost winced after it came out of her mouth. She had to force herself not to turn around and look at James's expression. "So, what did you need, then?"

"I wanted to go over that charm we learned in class today!" Mary Katherine said brightly. "I really don't understand – are the words _Twinkle twinket_? Because that's what I thought, but Dorcas said it was _Twinkle twink_letand I wanted to make sure before I tried it, you know, and I also don't think I'm flicking my wrist at the right angle-"

"Yes. Right. Okay, I'll help you. Just – go ahead into the library, I'll be there in a second," Lily interrupted firmly.

"Great!" Mary Katherine nodded, looking slightly suspicious, and headed into the library. Lily turned to James.

"Erm, I suppose we can talk later."

James looked at her for a moment. "Tonight, I think, would be best."

Lily's heart skipped. "Where? The common room?"

James shook his head. "We'd give them all a heart attack. No, I'll meet you on the seventh floor, down that corridor with the troll tapestry?"

Lily nodded, trying to keep her emotions under control. "I can find it."

"What, you've never been there?"

Lily grinned at his teasing tone. "Shut it, Potter! But no, I haven't."

James grinned back at her and his hand moved slightly as if to touch her, but just as quickly, it dropped back to his side. "That doesn't surprise me at all, Evans."

Lily returned to the library with a silly smile on her face – one she knew was a bit too obvious – but she couldn't shake it off. She found Mary Katherine and carefully re-taught her the charm they'd learned in class that day – one to make inanimate objects light up; it was mostly used if one's wand wasn't giving off enough light, and fairly complicated – while trying to hide her impatience. Thankfully, Mary Katherine was not dumb, just confused, and she caught on to the charm quickly enough. They were soon walking back up to Gryffindor Tower, and Mary Katherine was chatting away about her break while Lily was thinking of ways to get rid of her.

When they came to the top of the stairs on the seventh floor, with the statue of Lachlan the Lanky right before them and the portrait hole on the left, Lily stopped. "Hey, MK, go ahead, will you? I'm just going to – erm – take a peek at these portraits over here." She gestured vaguely to the right side of the hall.

Mary Katherine said cheerfully, "Oh, I'll go with you!"

Lily swallowed. "Actually, erm, I just sort of, you know, want to be alone just now," she said, whispering slightly and trying to look as if she were troubled about something.

Mary Katherine, who had lived with Lily and her terrible acting for seven years, looked at her shrewdly. "You know, you could just come out and say it."

Lily looked at her quickly. "Say what?"

Mary Katherine heaved a sigh. "Lily, no one's going to think any less of you because you're talking to James Potter."

Lily felt her face heat terribly. "I – I'm not – I just wanted to – to look at the-"

Mary Katherine clapped her friend on the back before turning and heading towards the Fat Lady. "Don't stay out too late," she called over her shoulder before saying the password and disappearing into the common room. Lily watched her go, struck by what Mary Katherine had said – not about staying out too late, but how no one would think less of her if she talked to James. That wasn't what she felt, was it? She wasn't afraid of talking to James because of her popularity, was she?

Lily shook her head vehemently. No, she didn't care about her popularity. She was just – not ready to let people know she and James were friends. If they even _were_ friends. James might tell her tonight that he didn't want to talk to her again because of how she'd ignored him, and it wouldn't surprise her one bit.

Well, maybe it would.

She turned slowly around so she was facing in the other direction. The corridor before her came to a dead-end, and only one small door led off of it. Lily, her hands sweaty, chose this door and pushed through. A dimly lit, very small corridor greeted her, with a nothing but a human-sized vase on one end, a window on the other, and a tapestry on the right wall. Nothing else. Well, it wasn't the nicest place to meet, but at least it was private. But where was James?

Lily decided she would just wait for a moment and stepped up to study the old tapestry. It moved, as did most of the tapestries in the school, and soon she found herself transfixed. It was without doubt the silliest thing she'd ever seen (and Hogwarts had its fair share of silly tapestries); it depicted a man trying to teach – _were those trolls?_– how to ballet dance. She moved forward to read the old writing; apparently the man was called Barnabas the Barmy. How very appropriate.

"Mad, isn't he?"

Lily jumped two feet in the air and whirled around, pressing her hand to her heart. She hadn't heard James come in. "Don't _do_ that!"

He grinned. "Did I catch you unawares? Now I know why you're so terrible at Defense Against the Dark Arts."

Lily stared at him for a moment before cracking a smile. "You know, I think you're right," she said. "No one's ever told me anything like that."

"What, the truth?" he asked teasingly.

"Not so bluntly."

"Maybe I should do it more often, then."

Lily smiled as her face heated at his tone, and she had to avert her eyes. She positioned them over his shoulder and gasped. She was staring at a door that was situated in the wall where it had been blank before. "What – how-"

James turned around and went to the door. "Welcome, Miss Evans, to the Room of Requirement," he said with a bow, before flinging the door open. Lily gasped in surprise and walked hesitatingly into it.

It was a very ordinary room but for the startling color of forest green – rather like the color of Lily's eyes – everything seemed to be: the couches, the carpets, the poufs, and even the walls. The green was complemented by the white bunches of flowers everywhere – white lilies, actually. James closed the door behind her and said a bit sheepishly, "Er – d'you like it?"

Lily smiled and turned to him in wonderment. "How did you make it appear?"

"You walk past that blank stretch of wall three times, wishing really hard for a place to go, and then it appears with whatever you needed inside it."

"Extraordinary," Lily breathed. She went over to the bookshelf and read the spines of the books before quickly stepping away and averting her eyes, flushing. All of them were gardening books about the care and treatment of lilies.

"Erm, sorry," James said. "Got a bit carried away, I suppose…." He gallantly plucked one of the flowers from a nearby vase and handed it to her; she accepted it with a smile and a rapidly beating heart before sitting down on a comfy, green couch.

"How long have you known about it?" she asked, looking around the room more, idly stroking the silky petals of the white lily in her lap.

James shrugged and sat down beside her on the couch, causing her breath to hitch and her heart to skip several beats. "Sirius, Remus, Peter, and I found it in – what was it, fourth year? We'd been browsing the library and Peter found a little tiny book wedged in between some others – they'd stuffed it in the restricted section – but anyway, it was all about this room and how to activate it."

"I see. And what were you lot doing in the restricted section?"

James smiled mysteriously. "Oh, we go in there a lot."

"Let me guess – in the middle of the night, under your Invisibility Cloak?"

"Actually, we haven't been able to fit under that thing all together since second year. Sirius and I can barely fit under there together nowadays."

That didn't surprise Lily at all. She remembered how close it had been under the cloak with uncomfortable clarity.

"So, besides trying on frocks and meeting dates, what else did you do over the holiday?"

Lily shook her head. "I stayed at home, mostly. Went to the cinema a few times with some of my old Muggle friends. Oh, and spent time with Gwen, of course."

"I wonder when Sirius is planning on telling me," James mused wryly. Lily understood that they were back to The Kiss. "Are you sure it's their first time?"

"Snogging, you mean? I think so. Gwen would have told me if they'd, you know, done anything before."

The two continued talking about things, darting around what they really wanted to discuss and settling instead on school work, plans for the summer, Quidditch, and when the next Hogsmeade weekend would be.

"And I think the next prefect meeting is next week – proper conduct in the hallways or something like that."

Lily nodded. "That ought to be fascinating," she remarked dryly, and James chuckled. "Hey, what time is it?"

James looked down at his watch and winced. "Oops."

Lily grabbed his wrist and yanked it towards her, trying to read the face. "What do you mean, oops? Oh…." It was almost eleven.

"Well, at least we didn't fall asleep this time."

Lily dropped his wrist faster than a hot poker as she remembered herself and stood up. "We should get back."

He stood up too. "We should." Neither of them moved.

"What – er, what else did you do over break?" she asked after a pause.

He swallowed and stepped a tiny bit closer. Lily wondered if he could hear her heart. "Nothing."

"Oh," she stammered. Her whole being was concentrated on the person before her; she was suddenly aware of everything about him. She felt like she could read his thoughts by just staring into his brown eyes.

James broke the silence a moment later. "Can I kiss you?" he asked quietly.

"_Oh_," Lily said in surprise, her heart stopping and then starting again abruptly with alarming speed. She swallowed hard. "Erem, well, yes, I suppose-"

He took her hands before cutting off her babbling firmly with his mouth. Lily gasped sharply (through her nose, of course) and her eyes fell shut automatically. She was gripping his hands as if she would fall without them; she tried to loosen her grip and felt her body sway and her knees lock ominously. James laughed softly against her mouth and, without detaching their lips, grabbed Lily firmly by the waist with a strong arm and put his other hand on the back of her neck. Lily's own hands were left awkwardly smushed between them, and after a moment's hesitation, she put her palms up so they were resting lightly on his chest.

The kiss was tentative, more of a test than anything else, but it was still mind-numbing. It couldn't have lasted more than fifteen seconds, but when he pulled back and as she gulped for air, Lily decided she needed to do that more often. Her hands were shaking, and she felt suddenly very faint when James released her waist and took a step backwards.

He looked as shaken as she felt. "You – I – we-"

"Yes – it – my-"

They both stopped speaking abruptly, Lily flushing hotly at her momentary speechlessness. They stood for a long moment, staring at each other, before James muttered, "Bloody hell," and dove for her mouth again.

After the initial alarm she experienced when their lips met again, Lily felt braver and moved her arms up so they were around his neck. The shock that went through them both as he put his arms tightly around her waist and pulled her to him was startling; they matched up perfectly together. As she threaded her fingers through his dark hair, she decided that she _never, ever, ever, ever _wanted this to end.

But it had to. A nagging presence in the shape of a red-headed Hufflepuff named Laura formed in the back of her mind and she forced herself to pull back. As she shook her head, looking down at the floor, she tried to get her breath back. "No, no, no, we can't, we can't-"

"Why not?" James's voice was hoarse and so full of emotion Lily felt tears spring to her eyes. He put his hand under her chin and lifted it up until she was looking at him straight in the eyes. His glasses were askew and his hair was nearly on end, but to Lily, he had never looked more handsome. Her eyes darted down to his mouth; it was swollen and red, like her own probably was, and she felt another wave of desire wash over her, but she forced herself to focus.

"Because, James, because – I – I saw you, in the classroom-"

He froze slightly. "In what classroom?"

Lily swallowed. His hand still held her chin, so she couldn't look away. "I walked in on you once, accidentally," she told him, her voice catching. "Before break. With that Hufflepuff, Laura."

He dropped her chin but continued to hold her gaze. "That was you?" His tone was guarded.

Lily's heart was aching. "Yes, it was," she said quietly. Her mind was starting to wonder if James had held Laura Erwin the same way he held her now, if Laura Erwin's knees went as weak as Lily's did whenever he looked at her, if she really had thought he truly cared for her-

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"It didn't look like you were too sorry at the time," Lily said, and she couldn't help the edge of bitterness that crept into her voice. She regretted saying it the second it came out of her mouth; he stepped away from her, wounded.

"I thought nothing would come of us," he said slowly. "You _were _ignoring me, in case you've forgotten."

"I'm sorry, that didn't come out how I meant it," she said quietly. "Let me start again. Are you still seeing her?"

He held her eyes as he slowly and meaningfully shook his head. "It was nothing. I know that's a little trite, but it really wasn't anything. She offered and I took it."

Lily swallowed. "All right. But I still….I still don't know if this-" she gestured awkwardly to both of them "- is right. I mean – have the Head Boy and Head Girl ever, you know, been together like this?"

"Does it matter?"

"And the others – what will the students say?" Lily asked, changing her tact.

He was still looking at her levelly. "Do you really care?"

Lily's next words died on her lips. She realized that if this was real – the feelings she was experiencing by being so near to him and kissing him like that – then she didn't care about anything.

He must have seen her softening, because he cupped her face with both hands, thumbs gently stroking her cheeks. "It doesn't matter, Lily," he said quietly. "I care for you, Lily – a lot, more than I can say, and I've waited for so long….And there's no way you can say you don't feel anything for me after that. I'm not – I'm not letting you go." He pulled her against him, holding her as gently as he would a crystal vase, and Lily realized that if she did fall in love with James Potter, there was nothing anything or anyone could do about it – not even herself.


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

_Dearest Lily,_

_Darling! I can't believe it's only been a month since we last saw you – it feels like it's been an absolute eternity! Especially because of your lack of writing. What have you been up to, then, that's made you forget to write? Your father and I are quite used to getting one letter a week or so – we like to know how you're doing, love! Hope your grades are fine (which I'm sure they are) and the review for the N.E.W.T.s is going well. When do you take them, again? I would know, love, if you'd written! _

_How's Gwen, then? I do hope you haven't got into another quarrel, as your letters are quite dismal during those periods (but at least you wrote!). We're all fine here, except I think perhaps we're going to have to move Mum to a nursing home. She insists she's fine living on her own, but I do so worry about her in that old house. At least she could move in with us. _

_Petty's going quite mad over the flowers for her bouquets, and we had a terrible time with the invitations – they came out written in navy blue ink, which is, of course, completely inappropriate. I clearly remember ordering them in black, and so we had to send the whole lot back. Good thing we decided to order them early, eh? And Sarah's already sent out her own invitations (she's getting married on July 8th, in case you've forgotten) and-_

Lily sighed, smiling, as she carefully folded up the long letter her mother had sent and stuffed it back in the envelope. It looked as though she rambled on about the wedding for another page or so. She could read that later.

"Morning."

Lily's heart jumped to the ceiling as James slid next to her onto the bench and squeezed her elbow, looking at her with his penetrating brown eyes. They shimmered with, well, _something_ – a something that Lily hoped was mirrored in her own eyes. She had the urge to throw herself into his arms and kiss him until they were both gasping for breath, but she resisted. There were people around, and it would be unseemly for them to launch themselves at each other.

Not that the whole school didn't know they were together. Sirius, Gwen (who had been sitting rather close together on one of the couches), Peter, Remus, Mary Katherine, and Dorcas had all been up talking and waiting for their friends when Lily and James entered the common room at midnight after they had visited the Room of Requirement. One glance at their happy faces and joined hands was enough to tell anyone what was going on, and the next day the gossip swept through the school quicker than the plague. Lily heard whispers the whole day (and many days after that) about how they had supposedly got together (one popular theory was that Lily bewitched him with a Love Potion; another was that James had saved her over break from a Common Welsh Green dragon) and, while many scoffed that Lily was "just another fling", those close to James saw the changes in him and weren't quite so sure. Lily remembered the day Sirius said the first nice thing to her in all their years of being together; he had approached her after Care of Magical Creatures (which they had together without James) and asked rather awkwardly if he could speak with her alone. Lily had stared at him incomprehensively for a second before Gwen elbowed her in the ribs and whispered, "Go talk to him!"

They separated themselves from the crowd of Gryffindor and Hufflepuff seventh years and walked for a moment in silence. When it got to the point that Lily was wondering whether he'd forgotten about her, he broke the quiet.

"Lily – this is kind of hard, so just bear with me, will you?" Sirius said in the most honest tone Lily had ever heard him utter.

She gaped at him, realized she was doing so, and shut her mouth. "Erm, okay, go ahead."

"I was – wrong. About you. I realize that now, ever since you and James-" He struggled for a moment, trying to find the word. "Since you and James started being, well, you and James. I've always thought you were a school-obsessed swot – which you were for a bit there, sorry – but Gwen's always said you're not and I believe her."

Lily walked in silence for a moment, contemplating what to say and watching the bright green grass beneath her feet push up water every time she stepped. "Why? I mean, why do you believe her now?"

"Well, I've got to know you better. And it's also James," he said with some reluctance. Lily could feel him looking at her, and she met his gaze levelly; he really was almost painfully handsome, like he'd been forever, though Lily thought he was nothing compared to James. His reluctance was pushed down forcefully; he seemed determined to carry this out. "He's a lot different. Whenever I see him, he smiles easily. He doesn't dwell on – things. So, as much as it pains me to say-" (his tone was teasing) "-you seem to have changed him. He's been on me to get to know you better, but I figured I'd better apologize for being a complete and utter arse these past seven years before you'd consider getting to know _me_ better. So…."

And then, Sirius Black did something quite odd. He stopped and held out his hand, looking Lily squarely in the eye. "Friends?" Lily took his hand without a moment's hesitation, and they shook firmly.

"Friends," she told him, and broke into a smile. He smiled back, and they walked the rest of the way towards the castle just small talking, which they both knew was the first step to really becoming friends, and enjoying their newfound agreement.

Remus and Peter, though never actually straight out asking for friendship, had started to accept Lily as well. The seventh-year Gryffindor girls and boys merged peacefully for the first time in – well, ever, and started to spend time together in the evenings. They were tied together by one (and perhaps two – Gwen and Sirius were obviously together, though no one ever actually acknowledged anything) very strong tie, and if anyone was unhappy about it, they soon got over it. Some of Lily's favorite memories were made sitting in the common room with all of them together, laughing, playing games, and talking. It was almost as if, for a few precious weeks, they could forget about everything that was going on in the world around them. But the feeling of being surrounded by a bubble was about to be popped after Lily and James left breakfast that morning.

It started out normally. The bell rang in the Great Hall, signaling the start of classes for the day, and James waited for her as she gathered her books. Arithmancy was their first class, and the only class they had together by themselves. She had hated it; now she loved it. As they walked down the corridors, the younger students (and many of the others) parted for them; together they were a very intimidating pair – at least, to those who didn't know them. When James took her hand it gave her warm shivers, and she did her best to ignore the venomous looks being shot at her from a group of third-year girls huddled around the Muggle Studies classroom.

James squeezed her hand gently, and she looked up at him and felt the immediate sense of peace and security wash over her. It happened whenever she was around James, and it was a feeling she wanted to experience for – well, forever. But that was something she didn't like to think about. The future, that is. Things were perfect right as they were – why did they have to change?

The prospect of leaving the place that had become Lily's second home always made her feel slightly sick to her stomach. She loved Hogwarts, and had ever since she first saw it as a scared, alone first year. Lily remembered her first glimpse as if it had only happened yesterday, and the feeling of truly belonging somewhere had stuck with her ever since. In fact, that was sort of how she felt around James.

_But Hogwarts doesn't make my pulse race and my knees weak, and I'm sure it can't kiss as well as James can…._

Lily clapped her free hand over her mouth at the thought that had just popped into her brain. Where had _that_ come from?

"What?" James asked, nudging her playfully with his shoulder.

Lily shook her head. "No, no, you don't want to know," she mumbled through her hand, eyes twinkling up at him. Random thoughts like that seemed to follow her around whenever James touched her.

They strolled leisurely into the Arithmancy classroom and took their usual seats in the back. Professor Vector called her class to order, instructing them to turn to page 793 in their _Numerology and Grammatica _text books. The class completed a number chart – one that Professor Vector hinted strongly would be on their N.E.W.T. exam, which set Lily's stomach into nervous knots. Only a little under two months were left before the life-deciding exams, and Lily felt nauseous every time she thought of them.

She snuck a look at James while she thought hard over a particular block of the chart. He was bent over his parchment in concentration, his eyebrows pulled together in thought as he filled in numbers. How _did_ he do it?

"I do hope you're not trying to read Mr. Potter's answers, Miss Evans."

Lily's eyes widened in shock as the tall, thin form of Professor Vector appeared next to her desk. "Oh – _no_, Professor, no, I'm just-"

The woman's dark eyes were sparkling slightly and Lily stopped, letting a rush of breath she had been holding burst from her lungs. Professor Vector was _teasing_, of course. James chuckled next to her, and she glared at him.

"I was wondering if I might have a word with the two of you after class?" Professor Vector inquired, looking at the two of them politely. "It will only take a moment. I wish to discuss your essays briefly."

Lily and James gave their consent and returned to their number tables. It wasn't a rare occurrence for Professor Vector to ask to speak to a few of her students after class; she did so frequently to discuss homework and papers.

After class Lily and James held back and then approached Professor Vector's desk. She waited for the last stragglers to leave her classroom, shutting the door behind them, before turning to the Head Boy and Girl. She pulled a slip of paper from her desk.

"This was given to me to be presented to you both," she said seriously, handing the note to James. "I made up the excuse of your papers, which, by the way, were both excellent," she said, smiling slightly.

James unfolded the note and then showed it to Lily. It read, in familiar handwriting:

Please come to Professor Dumbledore's office tonight promptly at one o'clock. Mr. Potter knows the password. And please, for Merlin's sake, keep this to yourselves.

Professor McGonagall

The two students exchanged puzzled glances. "What-"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, but I can't say," Professor Vector said, and held her hand out. "If you'll return the note to me, I will make sure it is properly disposed of."

James handed the note back over with a frown. "One o'clock in the morning?"

Professor Vector nodded. "Yes, Mr. Potter. Now, if you don't hurry, you will both be late for your next class," she said, and bent over her desk again to grade a paper. Lily and James exited in silence.

"What d'you reckon?" Lily said finally as they made their way through the school towards Defense Against the Dark Arts.

James was still deep in thought. "I think it might have something to do with that society Dumbledore told us about."

Lily nodded. "Me too."

James sighed. "I suppose we'll just have to wait and see, then."

They did wait and see. Later that night, James and Lily got up after everyone else had left the common room and headed towards the portrait hole. They were quite impressed with themselves, as everyone had cleared out without a hitch; James had been ready to set off a few of his pranks from Zonko's. There was even a bit of time to spare – it was quarter 'til one. James shook out the Invisibility Cloak, and Lily was halfway through the hole when Sirius's voice stopped them. "Prongs? What're you doing?"

Lily quickly stepped back into the common room. Gwen and Sirius were standing together at the bottom of the girls' stairs, looking puzzled.

"What are _you_ doing?" James asked, glancing back somewhat nervously at Lily.

"We're – er – going to go to the – er – kitchens," Gwen stammered quickly. "What about you?" she asked, looking suspiciously at the two.

Lily and James glanced at each other before blurting excuses at the same time.

"Just going for a walk-"

"We were going to the kitchens, too-"

They halted abruptly. _Oh dear Merlin, _Lily thought, watching Sirius and Gwen's highly disbelieving faces. She winced and opened her mouth to explain, since James seemed to have run out of things to say, but the words never came as two more people arrived in the common room: Peter and Remus.

"What are you doing here?" several people said at once. And, together, they all stopped and blushed. No one spoke for a tense moment before Lily broke it.

"Right, sorry James, but we're here because McGonagall asked us to go to Dumbledore's office," she blurted. To her surprise, the other four relaxed. There were noises of "so are we" and they all seemed to converge together in the middle of the common room.

"We were held back after Divination-"

"McGonagall caught us in the hall-"

"Professor Vector gave us a note-"

Everyone got their stories out and they all beamed at each other, glad to be in the same boat. They forgot what they were doing for a moment in the excitement, and Remus brought them back to earth.

"We should go," he said, pointing at the clock. They turned as one; the clock said they had a little more than five minutes until they were supposed to be there. They filed out of the common room quickly and orderly, James and Lily bringing up the rear. Lily took a moment to look at everyone as they headed towards the portrait hole, taking in the expressions on their faces as they passed. Sirius was rubbing his hands together anxiously, and leaned down when Peter whispered something to him; he laughed quietly, clapped his friend on the back, and then turned to Gwen. Peter looked much more relaxed after he had spoken to Sirius; he even put his head in as Gwen said something to Sirius. Gwen seemed happily excited.

Lily glanced up as Remus came up beside her. She had always liked Remus because he had never really been like Sirius, James, and Peter. He was quieter and always struck Lily as being older than his age. His gray eyes held a wisdom that Lily admired, and she wondered how, in his short life, he had acquired such worldly intelligence. He caught her staring and smiled at her; she noticed suddenly that they were nearly the same height. She felt completely at ease around Remus. He hadn't always been her friend, but he hadn't ever been her enemy either.

Then there was James. He was completely collected, and she knew deep down that this wasn't going to be the first thing she would face with him. He would be as calm and cool then as he was now. Lily's eyes caught the glimmer of the Invisibility Cloak as James pushed it farther down into the pocket of his robes before going through the portrait hole. James saw her look and smiled down at her. "Can't be too careful," he muttered, and ushered her through.

The actual journey down to the second floor couldn't have taken more than ten minutes, but to Lily, it seemed at least an hour. Her mind kept darting forward to _why_ they were all being called to Dumbledore's office, _why_ he wanted them to meet in the middle of the night, and _why_ she had a strange feeling of foreboding sitting like a block of lead in her stomach. She realized as they crossed down between the fourth and third floors that this was it – her first step to adulthood. She knew instinctively that by going to this meeting and agreeing to be in Dumbledore's secret society she was pledging herself to his side – to his cause – for life. She didn't mind it, so long as her friends – and James – were beside her the whole time.

Sirius, who was in the lead, abruptly stopped as they rounded the corridor that led to Dumbledore's office. He whispered "_Nox!_" to his wand, and Lily's eyes were drawn to the place where he was staring. Two shapes, clearly outlined by the light of their wands, were standing before the stone gargoyle and watching it as it slowly opened for them. Lily and the others whose wands were lit immediately extinguished them and sank back towards the staircase, eyes pinned on the figures. They were hooded. Lily felt a chill go down her spine. She was suddenly very glad that the shadows from the stairwell hid them quite effectively. What if those people were…?

"It's the Minister of Magic," James said calmly from beside Lily when the shapes disappeared inside the secret passage. He was invisible; Lily hadn't even seen him pull out the cloak, but she didn't have time to ponder his stealthy move as his words hit her. The group stared at the spot where his voice had come from in a sort of dumb shock.

"Sorry?" Gwen said in a strangled voice from behind Lily.

"_Lumos!_" Sirius commanded of his wand and it lit very brightly, throwing their faces into sharp relief. Sirius moved up beside his best friend and pulled on thin air; the cloak shimmered, suddenly visible, and peeled away to reveal James. "The Minister of Magic?" he demanded.

"Shhh," Lily said anxiously, peering towards the statue again. The ball of lead in her stomach was gradually becoming larger; if the Minister of Magic was invited to this meeting, it must be bigger than she thought.

"Yeah," James said, and Lily saw a flicker of confusion flash through him. "And Edgar Bones. I thought – I thought this was…."

Lily swallowed convulsively.

"Well, we can't just _stand_ here," Peter pointed out after a moment of silence.

"Exactly, Peter. This obviously is something different than we thought it was going to be, and if we don't go now, we're going to _miss_ whatever it is!" Gwen hissed impatiently.

That put them all into motion. James hastily folded the Invisibility Cloak and shoved it into his pocket, and they set off at a brisk walk towards the stone gargoyle. James stood before it and softly cleared his throat.

"Peppermint To-"

"Mum! _Dad!_"

Lily whirled around towards Gwen's voice and saw her wand was lit; she was incredulously watching two dark, hooded figures as they walked towards the seventh years. Gwen seemed rooted to the spot for a moment as the two figures hesitated just outside the beam of her wand. Lily feared she'd been mistaken, but then –

"_Gwendolyn?_"

Mrs. Watson pulled her hood down and stared at her daughter. Lily was especially struck at how much they looked alike at that moment, with the wandlight highlighting their ebony hair and reflecting off their crystal blue eyes. Then Lily turned to look at Mr. Watson. It was definitely him; he was a robust, jolly man and his dark moustache was visible under his cloak, though the rest of his face was hidden.

"Gwen? Sirius? James? _Lily? _What in _heaven's_ name are you lot doing down here?" he asked incredulously, his head moving as he scanned the group before him.

"Yes, that's what I'd like to know," Mrs. Watson chimed in, looking at her husband meaningfully. "This isn't – it's not for…."

"We were invited, Aunt Elizabeth," James said. He was still standing next to the gargoyle and looked just as surprised as Gwen was to see her parents there. "Professor McGonagall told us Dumbledore wanted to meet with us at one o'clock tonight."

"That's – but…." Mrs. Watson turned and stared at Mr. Watson with dawning horror. "No, George, surely not-"

"Good evening," a voice said pleasantly from behind them. The group turned as one and stared at Albus Dumbledore, whose half-moon glasses were glinting in the light of their wands. "I believe you are the last ones to arrive. Do come in, we don't want anyone to see us, do we?"

A flabbergasted Mr. and Mrs. Watson gaped at the old headmaster as the students filed past him and stepped onto the revolving staircase. Lily, who was next to James and a step above Gwen, caught Mrs. Watson's incensed remark – "But _Albus_, they're only _children!_" – before the stone gargoyle closed between them.

The seventh years were silent as they rode up the stairs until Gwen said harshly into the near darkness, "We are _not_ children."

Lily found herself nodding in agreement as her esteem for Dumbledore grew. He obviously thought they were mature enough to come to a full-fledged meeting of whatever this was (with the Minister of Magic present!), and that meant a lot to her. She knew his vote of confidence meant a lot to the others as well.

"Er – should we knock?"

Remus, who had arrived first at the landing before Dumbledore's big oak door, was standing before it, looking questioningly down at his friends.

"Might as well," Sirius said from his spot on the stair above Lily and James as he stepped onto the landing. They all crowded onto the landing together and looked at one another anxiously; they could clearly hear the noise of what sounded like many people – many _older_ people – talking on the other side of the door. With a nod to his friends, Remus swallowed before raising his hand and knocking.

The door flew open, revealing a group of unfamiliar (at least to Lily) witches and wizards of varied ages. Professor McGonagall, who had opened the door, must have noticed the nervous expressions on her students' faces because she gave a rare smile and stood aside. "Do come in," she told them as warmly as Lily had ever heard her speak, and they did so. Lily had the urge to latch onto James's hand and never let go, but she knew this wasn't the place for that. She then saw, off to her right, a group of Hogwarts students, and she had to work hard to contain her surprise at those invited. Kingsley Shacklebolt, a black seventh-year Ravenclaw, caught her eye first because of his towering height. He was standing with fellow Ravenclaws Chrisopher Miller (Lily shuddered slightly), and Lauren Stevens. They were in a circle along with Hufflepuffs Hestia Jones and Caradoc Dearborn. Only one Slytherin was present – an aloof seventh-year witch named Emmaline Vance who had always struck Lily as being quite stuck up. She noticed only one more Gryffindor, and that was –

"Dorcas!" Gwen called in some surprise, heading towards her. The blonde swung around when she heard her name. She smiled tightly at her fellow Gryffindor seventh years and beckoned them over.

"I should have known you would be invited," she said, shaking her head slightly. "I came early," she said. Lily frowned at Dorcas in concern; her normally luminous pale skin was wan, and dark circles hung below her eyes.

"Oh, Lily, I'm so glad you're here!" Lauren gasped, latching onto Lily's elbow. Lily smiled down at her shorter friend and instantly felt comforted; Lauren always seemed to lighten her mood with her constant, excited chatter. "D'you have any idea what's going on, then?"

Lily nodded. "I think so…." She explained quickly to her friend how she and James had been told about the secret society by Dumbledore, and then how Professor Vector had delivered a note to them after Arithmancy.

Lauren listened with wide eyes. "Yes, I got an owl over breakfast," she said. "I was quite nervous because the note said to 'carefully dispose of it' once I was finished reading. Then I found that Christopher had got one too, and we came down. We ran into Kingsley on the way."

Lily nodded and Lauren continued. "But there is something that's bothering me – why, if it's such a secret, are we having this meeting at Hogwarts? You know nothing stays quiet here for very long."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Lily said casually, thinking about the meetings that the students who wished to join Lord Voldemort had. She decided not to tell her friend about them and, ignoring her curious face, turned her attention to the others in the room.

There weren't as many adults as she had thought at first. There were, in fact, about an equal amount of adults and students. As she scanned the adults, she saw one face she recognized: that of a Gryffindor that had been two years older than her and called Sturgis – Sturgis Podmore, she thought. He was talking to a small group of very diverse people (including one man with a very strange hat) and hadn't noticed Lily when she entered.

Many of the adults present, she noticed, recognized James and were making their way towards him. Foremost among them was a woman Lily knew because she had seen her face many times before in the _Daily Prophet_: Millicent Bagnold, the Minister of Magic. She was rather normally built, with brown hair and brown eyes that sparkled with intelligence. She was no fool, this one, and Lily knew the wizarding world was lucky to have her. Lily wanted to meet her but was reluctant to interrupt. Besides, it wasn't like she would remember her anyways – Lily was nothing compared to James and his famous family. Or Gwen; Minister Bagnold had just spotted her and was giving her a very familiar embrace. She shook Sirius's hand warmly, and then did the same to Remus and Peter, who had obviously met her before.

Lily turned away from the sight and went back to Lauren, who was speaking to Dorcas.

"Lily," Lauren whispered as she drew near, "that's the Minister, isn't it?"

Lily nodded. "It is," she confirmed, and Lauren's eyes widened.

"Wow! D'you think we'll be introduced?"

Lily opened her mouth to answer but at that moment the polished oak door opened and Dumbledore, followed closely by Mr. and Mrs. Watson, entered the circular office. Mr. and Mrs. Watson sought out their daughter as though magnetically drawn to her. Everyone gradually hushed and turned to look at Dumbledore. He stood before the door patiently.

"Thank you very much for coming tonight," he told them all, his voice strong and steady. "I hope you realize how very much each of you means to this – to our cause, the cause against the Dark Lord, Voldemort." A few people shuddered at his name, and Lily didn't blame them.

"This is without doubt very odd to most of you – a very odd time to meet and a very odd array of people. But I must assure you that each person here was chosen because I believe you to be invaluable to our cause. I am pleased to know that all – save two, but for good reasons – I asked to come have indeed made it. Some of you may question the wisdom of having students-" here he motioned to Lily and the group of students she was standing with "-come, but they are soon to be adults and are far too talented to let go.

"Now, on to what exactly this group is. It is an alliance of the most powerful witches and wizards of our time that will stand up against an enemy I believe will become the most powerful Dark wizard of our time. Appropriately, it is to be called the Order of the Phoenix, because of this exquisite bird-" Fawkes the phoenix, Dumbledore's scarlet bird, flew down from his golden perch to sit on Dumbledore's shoulder "-who was not only one of Godric Gryffindor's most trusted advisors, but also has a remarkable way of sending messages. This shall be explained later, because now I have a question to ask of all of you: are you prepared to pledge yourself to the cause? If not, please excuse yourself. No one will think less of you as your agreement to join me will be perhaps the most dangerous one you will ever make."

No one moved. Lily lifted her chin proudly.

Dumbledore smiled slightly after a moment of silence had passed. "Unlike Voldemort's supporters, the Death Eaters, none of you will receive a mark of any kind that binds you to the Order of the Phoenix. If I have a need of any of you, believe me, I have ways to contact you most anywhere you might be. And if any of you choose to leave the Order, you will not be punished; it is understandable, after all, as some of the things I may ask you to do will not be easy. Some of you will be assigned to keep watch on others, some to spy on our enemies, some to protect those in danger, and others to undertake tasks that involve putting oneself into almost certain peril. I ask you again, for the final time, if you have any reservations about joining the Order of the Phoenix, please excuse yourself now."

"Dumbledore – the children…!"

Mrs. Watson's voice was partially strangled. Lily looked back to see her grasping Gwen's hand as though she was scared her daughter was in mortal peril at that very second. Mrs. Watson's other hand was latched onto James's elbow, and her eyes, full of tears, flitted over to meet Lily's when the girl turned her head. She gave a half sob.

"I agree, Albus," a man said. He was standing to the right of Minister Bagnold and was very stern looking, with a strong jaw and dark hair that was beginning to gray. He stepped forward to be better seen by the occupants of the room and, still turned towards Dumbledore, continued expressing his opinion. "You cannot ask these young children to commit so early."

Lily's hackles rose at the words "young children". For God's sake, she would turn eighteen in a little over a month and already had her Apparition license. She could do some things wizarding adults couldn't, including conjure a Patronus!

Others were speaking up as well, either for the idea of having the seventh years or against it, until the noise level in the room started steadily rising. Lily twisted around to look at James; he was in discussion with the Minister, and by the way his shoulders were set and his hands were clenched slightly at his side, Lily could tell he wasn't happy even though she couldn't see his face. Gwen was speaking to her parents, face flushed, and Lily could hear her shrill arguments every once in a while through the din. Lily knew if someone didn't stop her (or her mother, who looked just as worked up) it could turn into a shouting match.

She made up her mind to go stand next to Gwen and turned around to see if Lauren and Dorcas were all right, but was stopped as she caught the expression on the Headmaster's face. He was surveying the quarrelling members of his Order serenely, but his eyes were sparking with the barest hint of annoyance. As she watched, he stepped forward and raised his hand, just as he had done at the start of the meeting. It took longer this time to get everyone to quiet down, but they did eventually. Gwen stomped away from her parents and stood next to Lily, her normally pale face flushed and her blue eyes glittering in anger.

"I understand your concerns," Dumbledore began quietly as soon as he had everyone's attention, "and I thank you for voicing them. The Order is not, by any means, a dictatorship, thought I would not go as far as to call it a democracy, either." His kind smile told them he was joking, and Lily felt the tension loosen a bit in the room.

"I have a simple solution to this dilemma, my friends, and that is to ask those whom we are arguing over."

The adults in the room looked as one at the thirteen students in their midst. Lily felt herself blush to the roots of her hair at the sudden attention, but willed herself to stay composed.

"I am _not _a child," Gwen said into the silence. Her voice was loud and ringing, carrying to all present, but one could easily tell she was addressing her mother.

"I'm not either," Dorcas announced defiantly.

"It isn't fair to leave us out," Kingsley said in his deep voice. Caradoc nodded in assent and sweet Hestia, who normally was very diplomatic, nodded, her cheeks flushed.

"We're quite old enough to decide for ourselves," Christopher put in, handsome face scowling. Lily had to hold herself back from rolling her eyes as Lauren, who was looking at Christopher admiringly, added, "I agree."

"Anything you ask, Dumbledore, I'll do," James said quietly from his spot next to the Minister.

"Even if it's sitting at a desk writing letters," Sirius chimed in, glancing at his best friend before looking steadily at Dumbledore. Remus and Peter were nodding; the latter even chimed in with a rousing but very high, "Right!"

Dumbledore looked at Lily. "And you, Miss Evans?"

Lily met his gaze unflinchingly. She knew she was flushing mightily, but she didn't care at the moment – she wanted to make sure Dumbledore knew how much she wanted to be a part of this. "Anything," she repeated, echoing James. Her voice was stronger and clearer than she had expected, which gave her a bout of confidence.

"It's not fair, Mum, to call us children when you know we're not," Gwen went on, glaring at her mother.

When Mrs. Watson, overcome with emotion, covered her face with her hands, Mr. Watson stepped in. "Gwendolyn, we – your mother and I, everyone in this room – only want what we believe is best for people your age. Try to understand-"

"Kids your age shouldn't have to worry about things like this," the witch to the right of the Minister of Magic said. Her face was stern and dominated by a large, regal nose. Lily recognized her as Marlene McKinnon. "You should be out enjoying Quidditch and studying for your exams, not having all this hanging over your heads."

"We _want_ to worry about it," Gwen said with no little frustration.

"Yes, you can't expect us to ignore all the things that are happening outside of Hogwarts," Lily added, surprising herself with her vehemence. She blushed heartily. "We'd just join when we were out of school anyway," she added, and the other students nodded in agreement. Lily knew that each of them meant it completely and saw, from the looks on the other adults' faces, especially the younger adults, that they were winning the dispute.

Dumbledore recaptured the attention of the assembled people automatically as a silence descended on them all. He said simply, "Thank you. Are there any more arguments?"

When no one spoke, Dumbledore continued. "Very well. Once again, I must thank you profusely for coming, and at such an odd hour. But you understand that we must not be detected. Please, do not think this school is safe from malicious eyes and ears for a moment. It never has been, and I expect it never will be." He stared around at them impassively for a moment before smiling. "Well, I see no reason to keep you here any longer; please have a safe journey home. I will be in contact with each of you very soon. Thus concludes the first meeting of the Order of the Phoenix!"

Everyone began talking again once they were sure Dumbledore was finished, and Lily turned to look at Gwen. She was still flushed and angry; she kept shooting glares in the direction of her parents, especially her mother, who was still dabbing at her eyes. "Can you _believe_ them?" she hissed, glaring obviously at her parents before turning back to Lily.

Lily smiled slightly. "Gwen, they're just worried about you. Can you blame them for that?"

Gwen looked rather put out that Lily wasn't on her side and crossed her arms in front of her chest defensively. "I'm already eighteen! They need to realize that I'm not their baby girl anymore! Especially Mum!"

Lily glanced at them over her shoulder, scared that Gwen's voice would reach them. "Gwen, it's all right," she said in a low voice. "Really. Just – don't be angry, okay? They only want what's best for you. I wish my parents could be here, even if all they did was argue against me."

Gwen softened slightly at the distant look in her friend's green eyes. Gwen knew very well Lily's difficulties in trying to explain things that happened in the wizarding world to her very Muggle parents. "I know you do, Lils. Look at it this way, my parents can argue enough for four, okay?"

Lily smiled at her friend's attempt to cheer her up and was just about to suggest they go over to her parents when Remus, Peter, and Dorcas came up.

"Well, this has all been very interesting," Remus commented dryly to Lily and Gwen. "You both argue very persuasively, by the way."

Lily smiled at him. "Thanks, Remus. D'you – d'you think we should head back? I mean, James and Sirius look pretty…." She trailed off, staring at where James and Sirius were in a very serious conversation with the stern-looking man and Marlene McKinnon.

"May we have a word, Gwendolyn?"

Gwen winced at the tone of her father's voice before turning around to face him and her mother. Mrs. Watson was composed once more, though her eyes were red-rimmed from crying. She looked past Gwen to the students clustered around her and managed a small smile. "Well, I must say, Dumbledore chose well," she murmured, and gave Lily a quick hug. She then walked with her husband and daughter to a quieter area of Dumbledore's office.

"Bedtime, I think," a voice said briskly; it was Professor McGonagall. Her face was not as stern as Lily had thought it would be; she looked as though she had been stirred by something. As she ushered the group to the door, joining them with Kingsley, Caradoc, Emmaline, Christopher, Lauren, and Hestia, she stopped and lowered her voice. "I am – very proud of all of you," she said, her voice mysteriously thick. "Now, straight to bed for you lot. I'll send the other three along presently. You still have class tomorrow!"

"Thanks for reminding me," Dorcas muttered as they left Dumbledore's office and stepped down onto the revolving staircase. Lily felt her body relax as they silently rode down the stairs, and she wondered vaguely what time it was. They separated to go to their respective common rooms – the Hufflepuffs and Slytherin down to the dungeon levels, the Ravenclaws towards their tower. The remaining Gryffindors walked slowly back up to Gryffindor Tower, silent but for the occasional curse as they tripped in the near dark. They were all deep in thought about all they had heard that night and what exactly they had agreed to.

Lily fell asleep the moment her head touched her pillow.


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

Lily didn't hear any more from the Order of the Phoenix in the weeks after the first meeting, though she knew others included had. Some days Dorcas would arrive at breakfast with bags under her eyes, and Lily knew she had been at a "junior" Dark meeting the night before. Remus disappeared every once in a while, saying he was visiting an ill relative. And Peter sometimes looked as though he held a large secret that he couldn't tell anyone. Lily was feeling more than slightly left out as she believed all of these strange occurrences had something to do with the Order. And so, when James was called away for a weekend in early May (the same weekend as the Slytherin vs. Hufflepuff match, so Lily knew it was serious), she confronted him alone during break on Thursday and told him she had a right to know why he was leaving.

James looked at her for such a long moment that Lily started to second guess herself and wonder if he'd called off his weekend away and she hadn't heard about it. But then his expression changed to one of tired vulnerability and he sighed. "You're right, you should know."

Lily was taken aback. She had been ready to argue her case with him; she hadn't dreamed he would give in so easily. "Oh – well, if I'm not supposed to know, then-"

"This isn't – it's not anything top secret," he said with that tired sigh again. "I should have told you, Lily, but I didn't want to worry you or anything. You get worried very easily, you know," he added.

Lily smiled slightly. "James, if you don't want to tell me-"

"No, I want to. It's – it's about my mum."

Lily felt herself pale. "Oh…your mum."

James nodded as his eyes clouded. "She's not doing very well. She hasn't been, not since…."

Lily swallowed and held out her hand, signaling to him that he didn't need to say any more. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried-"

"You're not prying," he said with quiet vehemence, "you're not prying. I just didn't want to burden you with all my problems."

"No, you'll never burden me," she said, just as determinedly. "There – there shouldn't be any secrets between us, James. You'll never burden me."

"You'll never burden me either," he said, and reached his hand up to rest on her neck and thread through her hair. He sighed, but this time with a lighter tone, and smiled. "Christopher Miller doesn't know what he missed out on," he told her, leaning his forehead down on hers, his eyes glittering mischievously. They both knew it was risky to show affection in such a public place, but for once, they didn't care.

Lily smiled back at him with equal playfulness, her heart beating wildly. Even though they had been a couple for nearly a month, he still made her pulse race and her knees weak. "Let's just keep it that way, shall we? But really, James," she said, sobering up and pulling her forehead back, "is your mum okay?"

James looked down thoughtfully, working a muscle in his jaw. "I don't know," he said, returning to her eyes. "But she asked me to come home this weekend and I can't say no."

"I'm sure it's nothing," Lily said, looking at him hopefully.

He smiled and opened his mouth to answer her, but was cut off when Sirius's voice rang across the windy courtyard. "Oy! Lovebirds! C'mere!"

Lily blushed and scowled as the students nearby chuckled and tried to get a glimpse of Lily and James. James just grinned at his best friend over the heads of the younger students that separated them. He cupped his hands around his mouth, mimicking Sirius, and called, "Oy! Lazy-arse! Why don't you come here?"

Sirius grinned back and shrugged, acknowledging his loss, and made his way towards the couple, Gwen, Peter, and Remus on his heels. "Sorry, mate," he said as he drew up to them, "didn't want to _interrupt_ anything."

Lily rolled her eyes at him. "We were just talking," she told him, and he winked at her.

"Right, of course."

"Did you need something, Sirius?" James said loudly over Gwen's snort of laughter.

"Just wanted to talk to my best mate before he leaves for the weekend, Prongs. If you can tear yourself away from the lovely Lily, that is."

James shook his head good-naturedly. "I'm all yours." He snuck a slightly unsure glance at Lily, as if he was scared he had said something wrong, and she rolled her eyes with a smile, pushing him towards his friends.

"Excellent," Sirius said, clapping his best friend on the back. He lowered his voice and looked at Remus and Peter, motioning them to come nearer. Lily leaned in curiously. "It's _crucially_ important, actually. I think – _think – _I have a way of getting the Map back from Filch."

Lily, who didn't have a clue as to what they were talking about, saw a marked change in James's demeanor. If he hadn't been interested in what Sirius was saying a moment ago, he certainly was now. He and Sirius put their heads together with Remus and Peter, and the four began talking in earnest whispers.

"What's this, now?" Lily asked Gwen curiously, staring at their backs.

Gwen rolled her eyes. "The Map – the Marauder's Map. It's something they invented – a map of Hogwarts that shows everything, even people walking around. Filch confiscated it last year. Good riddance, too. That map was the secret to their success, I swear."

The bell rang a moment later, carrying them all to Transfiguration, where Professor McGonagall was already reviewing for their upcoming N.E.W.T.s. Lily felt her stomach drop whenever she thought about the exams; she knew that soon she would go into panic mode and not do anything but study. She did every year, especially fifth year, when she had to go to the hospital wing because she passed out from lack of food while studying for her O.W.L.s. Ah, the memories….

After classes, Lily bade goodbye to James with the rest of their friends and watched as he Disapparated from outside the wrought-iron gates that led up to the castle. He was gone with an audible _crack! _

"You make me sick," Dorcas said to Lily on their way back inside the castle. She was joking, that much was evident, but Lily thought she heard a slight bit of jealousy in her tone.

"Do I?"

"Yeah, you and James." Dorcas sighed. "You're so lucky."

Lily smiled slightly. "I know," she said quietly.

"Wish that would happen to me," Dorcas said moodily. "Oh well, I suppose it'll happen sometime in my life. What d'you reckon?"

"I'm sure it will, Dorcas," Lily assured her, though her heart wasn't really in it. She was too busy worrying about James. What if something happened to him or his mother? What if he was attacked?

"He'll be fine, Lily," Gwen said from her left, as though reading her mind. "He's just going home. He'll be fine."

Lily shot her best friend a guilty smile. "How do you _do_ that?"

"How do you know I haven't got a bit of the Inner Eye, eh?" Gwen said, putting her nose into the air loftily. "I made the best marks in Divination, after all."

"Yes, and if I recall correctly, it was because you copied off of me," Remus said dryly from his spot in front of Gwen, where he was talking to Sirius and Peter.

"Shut it, Remus, you're not supposed to _tell_ everyone that," Gwen called, smiling in spite of herself.

"Right. Anyway, who's going to the match tomorrow?" Dorcas asked them all as they started to climb up the sweeping marble staircase that would take them to Gryffindor Tower.

"I am," Sirius said promptly. "I've got my snake costume all sorted out-"

"I think I might," Lily said pensively, cutting Sirius off. "Go cheer for Hufflepuff, you know?"

"As if they're going to win," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. "They haven't got a chance."

It turned out to be just the opposite, however. Hufflepuff led, one hundred and forty points to twenty, when the Slytherin Seeker, Boris Blankenship, made a fantastic dive from sixty feet in the air. He caught the Snitch, but the crunching noise that echoed throughout the stadium as his body hit the ground made everyone wince – even the jubilant Slytherins.

As Sirius, Remus, Gwen, Lily, and Peter walked back from the match (Dorcas and Mary Katherine had decided to stay in and study), lagging behind the great crowd of Slytherin supporters clad in silver and green and celebrating at the top of their lungs, they decided to take a detour and sit under the huge beech tree near the lake. It was a beautiful, cloudless May day, and Lily was content to prop herself against the base of the tree and enjoy the warm sunlight. The nagging worries about James and studying slowly evaporated. For a long time, no one said anything, content to lounge without words, but their peace was soon interrupted by a boy that Lily had never seen before wearing a silver and green badge. He approached Sirius, who was lazily stroking Gwen's long black hair, and said, in a surprisingly deep voice, "She's marrying him."

Sirius gave a jerk and stared up at the boy before him. The boy had a cold, handsome face, not unlike Sirius's, and was staring at him insolently.

"Go away, Regulus," Sirius said quietly.

"Did you hear what I said?" the boy called Regulus demanded, holding his ground. "Narcissa's marrying Lucius Malfoy. Aren't you happy?"

Sirius got up very slowly. Gwen sat up and watched him as though she was scared he was a bomb about to explode; Remus was the same way. He and Peter exchanged a look before turning their attention to Sirius and the boy.

"Go away, Regulus," Sirius repeated. He had not moved any closer to the boy but was staring at him with an unmistakable glint of hatred in his gray eyes.

The boy folded his arms over his skinny chest. "Mother is glad Lucius is marrying one of them, at least. She took Andromeda off the tree, just like she's going to do to you."

Sirius's calm face became mocking. "What, the old hag hasn't blasted me off yet?" he sneered. "I would have thought she'd done that ages ago."

Something was slowly clicking in Lily's brain. Was this boy Sirius's brother? Why hadn't James ever said he had a brother?

"She thinks you'll return to your senses and come back," Regulus informed him. "She doesn't listen to me when I say you've been completely corrupted by – bad blood." His eyes flicked to Lily; she tensed involuntarily and felt a surge of anger course through her. Bad blood, was she?

Sirius saw him look at Lily, and for the first time, Lily saw his face tighten in anger. "Leave, Regulus, before I _make _you leave."

"She keeps saying that no one in their right mind would give up the Black family fortune willingly," Regulus continued, as though Sirius had never spoken. "I'm going to get it now, Sirius," he said contemptuously. "You'll be homeless and I'll be sitting in that great big house, counting my gold and laughing at the way things have turned out-"

Sirius's wand was drawn in the blink of an eye; Regulus stopped his tirade and narrowed his eyes at the wand. "You wouldn't dare," he said; Lily detected a hint of apprehension in his tone.

"Wouldn't I, Regulus?" Sirius was flushed with anger. "In case you've forgotten, when I left I swore I wouldn't ever come back. I also remember swearing that, if you came near me again, I'd blast you into a hundred tiny, little pieces. Do _you_ remember, Regulus?"

Regulus definitely looked frightened now. He took a step backwards and swallowed, still staring at Sirius's wand, and said, "I remember, Sirius, and don't worry, I won't come near you again – while we're at school, at least." And with his threat hanging in the air, Regulus turned around and walked back up into the castle. Sirius stared after him, his hand clenched so tightly around his wand that it was shaking, and only when the big oak doors slammed shut behind the boy did he come out of his trance.

"Bloody _hell!_" he yelled, picking up a rock and throwing it as hard as he could towards the lake. Gwen, Remus, and Peter were up and moving towards him quickly; Lily got slowly to her feet, trying to figure out what everything Regulus had said meant.

"Sirius. Sirius. _Sirius_," Gwen was saying calmly, "it's okay. Calm down."

Sirius glared at her. "Calm down? Gwen, you heard what he said!"

"I know, I know," Gwen said soothingly. "It's all right."

"Sirius, he's just a kid," Remus said from Sirius's right. "It was his last parting shot at you. You hurt him when you..."

"Ran away?" Sirius put in bitterly. "Hurt him, did I? Good riddance, I hope I did! And he has the nerve to come over here and threaten me?"

"Empty threats, Sirius. He's scared of you," Remus said gently.

"I know he is, the little coward," Sirius muttered, pushing his hair out of his eyes and looking down at the ground. "He tried to curse me when I was packing my things – damn near got me, too. It's Snape; he's been teaching him Dark magic." The look of loathing in Sirius's eyes as he spoke about Snape was unmistakable.

"And he's – your brother?" Lily asked hesitantly. All four turned to look at her; they seemed to have forgotten she was there.

"Unfortunately," Sirius sighed. "Sorry about…you know, his insinuation."

Lily shrugged. "It's all right, it doesn't bother me anymore. Why does he hate you so much?" she asked curiously.

"Because I left him alone in that godforsaken house," Sirius said scornfully. "With my mother."

"She can't be that bad," Lily said doubtfully.

Sirius let out a harsh bark of laughter. "You've obviously never met her. She makes this Lord Voldemort look like a harmless kitten."

Gwen shuddered slightly. "Don't say his name, Sirius."

"He also hates me because I've got a heart and he doesn't," Sirius continued, ignoring Gwen.

"That's not fair, Sirius," Remus objected quietly. "Just because he was put into Slytherin doesn't mean he doesn't have a heart."

"Believe me, Moony, I know my brother," Sirius shot at him. He sighed again. "You couldn't understand unless you'd lived there. In that house."

A slightly uncomfortable pause followed that pronouncement; Lily looked down at her shoes for a few minutes before deciding the silence had lasted long enough. "I think I'm going to go up and study a bit."

The others agreed to come inside too, but Lily parted ways with them on the fourth floor; she wanted to go to the library and draw up a loose study schedule for herself. She entered the huge library and staked out a table in the back (the one she usually met James at for Head Boy/Head Girl meetings) and settled down for a good afternoon of study. She particularly needed to go over a few spells in Transfiguration….

That was how James found her Sunday night, hunched over stacks of parchment and surrounded by a wall of books. Lily didn't realize anyone had sat down at her table until James reached across and moved the books that were obstructing his view of her. Lily looked up; her eyes were curiously blurry from studying her handwriting all day, but she recognized James in a heartbeat. However, the big smile that had lit up her face fell slowly when she got a look at his. "James! What's wrong?"

James's face was pale and worn; dark circles were visible beneath his eyes when he removed his glasses to rub them. He sighed and gave Lily a small smile. "Nothing, now that I'm here with you," he teased. Lily pulled her chair around so she was closer to him and he took her hand. He looked even worse close up.

"What happened?" she asked again.

He rubbed her hand in between his larger ones methodically for a moment before looking back at her with his hazel eyes. "Mum was rewriting her will."

Lily stared at him, her mouth falling open slightly. "Oh, James-"

"She also told me all the things I'm going to get when she – you know." James sighed. "My father left me everything."

"But your mum – surely she doesn't think…?"

James sighed again, getting the gist of Lily's words. "She says it's good to be prepared. When Dad died-" he stopped suddenly, his voice cracking, and Lily squeezed his hand in encouragement. After a few seconds, he said, "I thought she was going to die when Dad died."

Lily was frozen, completely unable to move. While he had talked to her about his dad before, he hadn't ever spoken about his father's death. She thought that it would help him a lot if he were to talk about it, and she was ready to listen, but he steered away from the topic. "She asked me if there was a 'young lady' in my life," James said, the sparkle slowly returning to his eyes.

Lily grinned. "Did she?"

James nodded slowly. "She did indeed. She's quite interested in meeting you now, Miss Evans."

"She is?"

"She asked me about you whenever we had a moment. 'What color hair has she got, Jamie?'" James put on a high voice, mimicking his mother's. "'She's the Head Girl? I thought you hated the Head Girl, Jamie!' 'Will I get to meet her sometime, Jamie?'"

Lily tilted her head to the side and raised her eyebrows. "'Jamie'?"

"Childhood nickname," James explained. "I grew out of it; she never quite did."

"I like it," Lily decided. "Can I call you Jamie, then?"

James faked a long-suffering sigh. "I suppose, if you _really_ want to." He grinned at her for a moment before taking a quick look around. It was nearing nine o'clock and so most of the students had already packed up and left; there was no one around them. Then, taking Lily completely by surprise, he put his hands just below her ears, leaned forward, and kissed her. It lasted barely five seconds but still left Lily breathless and shaky. She was quite glad she was sitting down.

James didn't move his hands right when he pulled back – he just stared at her for a moment, stroking the side of her jaw and fingering the hair behind her ears. Lily could barely form a coherent thought, much less sentence. James came to himself a few moments later and sat back in his chair, taking hold of her hands again. "I've wanted to do that since last Wednesday."

Lily broke into a sudden grin. Last Wednesday he had shown up in her Herbology class, told Professor Sprout that Lily was urgently needed up at the castle (no one had contested, as they were Head Boy and Girl), and then, instead of taking Lily to the castle, detoured behind one of the greenhouses and proceeded to kiss her senseless. His excuse was that it had been more than a week since they had been alone together and sometimes "desperate times call for desperate actions". Lily hadn't argued.

"Which reminds me, it's someone's birthday next week."

Lily ducked her head. It was indeed her eighteenth birthday on the tenth, but she hadn't thought about it very much because of all the studying she'd had to do.

"It is," she said, and then looked back up at him. "Can you believe it? I'll be a legal adult in the Muggle world."

James smiled. "You certainly will be, Miss Evans."

They sat like that for a moment, just beaming like utter fools at each other, until the librarian, Madam Porter, interrupted the moment. She whispered harshly as she tapped the face of her old pocket watch, "Nine oh-six! The library is closing!"

The Head Boy and Girl left the library and set off for Gryffindor Tower. Both were carrying an armload of Lily's books, but they managed to link hands despite the heavy tomes.

On Wednesday, May 10th, Lily awoke and found a large pile of gifts at the foot of her bed. Gwen, Dorcas, and Mary Katherine all piled on Lily's bed and watched as she opened her presents. Her parents gave her the lovely, bottle-green set of dress robes she had been admiring over the summer (Lily couldn't help but think her mother was trying to make up for Petunia's disaster of a bridesmaid gown). Grandmummy's gift was a beautiful set of pearls that had been given to her on her eighteenth birthday that she was apparently "too old" to wear anymore. Gwen (who had always been big on appearance) excitedly gave her a silver engraved mirror that showed you all sorts of aspects of your face and head so you wouldn't have to worry about turning. Remus thoughtfully gave her a book entitled _Dilys Derwent: The Diary of a St. Mungo's Healer_ with a note that said he hoped it would be of help to her as she studied further. Sirius and Peter gave her a joint present of a large box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and a book called _Quidditch for Dummies_ (Lily had a sneaking suspicion that that part of the present was entirely Sirius's idea). Dorcas and Mary Katherine both chipped in and got her a gift certificate to the new robe shop called Gladrags, and Lauren gave her a book called _Just Breathe: The De-Stress Manual. _Then, at the very bottom of the pile were two cards: one was a heavy maroon envelope and had her name written on it in James's familiar handwriting, and the other was a flimsy pink envelope. Lily knew the latter had to be from her sister, and she was right. It turned out to be the cheap drugstore type of birthday card, and Petunia signed it simply, "_From Petunia and Vernon_". Lily wished she hadn't even bothered and tossed the card aside. She turned her attention to the smooth maroon envelope and felt her heart lurch excitedly. This ought to be _much_ better.

"Oooh, Lily, open it!" Mary Katherine squealed. The other girls had already figured that it was from James, and all three were eagerly waiting to know what it said. Lily gave them a mysterious look and carefully broke through the seal.

_My dear Miss Evans,_

_May I first wish you a very happy eighteenth birthday? I hope your presents were satisfactory (as I know you've saved this one for last, of course) and that your day is brilliant. Secondly, I would like to cordially invite you to meet me in the common room at about four thirty this evening. I'm afraid I won't accept regrets – you need a break. _

It was signed simply "James", but it had Lily nearly brimming over with excitement as she handed the letter to Gwen.

"How much you want to bet he's going to kidnap you?" Gwen said teasingly, poking Lily in the ribs as she passed the letter to Dorcas and Mary Katherine, both of whom read it eagerly and then fell into paroxysms of delight.

"Lily! How _precious!_"

"Yeah, what did _you_ do to get such a catch?" Dorcas demanded, rereading the note. "I especially love the 'won't accept regrets' bit. He's so _funny_."

Usually, Lily demurred when her friends launched into a tirade about how perfect she and James were, but she figured that today she deserved to hear about how lovely her life was. Because it was, really. Not just the part with James, but all of it. So what if her sister was purposely trying to humiliate her? So what if her N.E.W.T.s were in a month? James was right; she needed a day off. And what better day than her birthday?

The whole day she tried to squeeze hints out of James about his mysterious letter, but he wouldn't say anything beyond, "You'll just have to wait and see." Four thirty found Lily standing in the common room, and she looked up when someone came clattering down the boys' staircase. It was James. He was carrying his Invisibility Cloak and a very mischievous smile was playing about his mouth.

"I'm glad you've decided to come quietly."

Lily raised an eyebrow, following him as he strode towards the portrait hole. "Were you expecting me to put up a fight, then?"

"I thought I'd have to drag you away screaming from your books, actually," he informed her, holding the Fat Lady's portrait open as she clambered through of the portrait hole. "However, I was fully prepared to battle for you."

"Thanks, that's lovely to know," Lily said, grinning up at him as they set off down the corridor. "Where are we going, anyway, O Mysterious One?"

"To have a bit of fun," James said. He sighed with pretend exasperation when she looked at him questioningly. "Just trust me, will you?" he said, and grabbed her hand. "It's an adventure."

"An adventure that could result in the loss of our badges?"

"Don't be silly. They won't take our badges away three weeks from the end of term."

Strangely, this didn't comfort Lily very much.

She did trust him, however, and therefore didn't object when he pushed her down a stone slide that had appeared behind a statue of a sinister-looking, one-eyed witch. As she stood and brushed the dirt off her robes at the bottom of the slide, she guessed that James was taking her to Hogsmeade, and strangely, she didn't feel apprehensive about being caught.

The Head Boy and Girl walked along the earthen passageway, talking and laughing about random things, and came to a set of stone stairs after what seemed like quite a while. Lily looked up; the steps curled around before coming to what looked like a trapdoor. James led her up the stairs and then, when they arrived at the top, he carefully opened the trapdoor and pulled himself up through it. He turned around and helped Lily up, then quickly put the trapdoor back down again. Lily noticed that one couldn't even tell it was there unless one knew about it, as the floor was so covered with dust and the door was partially hidden by a large crate. They were standing in a sort of cellar with large boxes and barrels around them. The box nearest them was stamped in big green letters, "FIZZING WHIZBEES". Lily felt a grin tug at her mouth and she turned towards James, who was shaking out the folds in his Invisibility Cloak.

"We're in Honeydukes," she stated.

James looked up and met her eyes with a grin. "Very good, Miss Evans. Come on." He covered them with the cloak and took her hand; they climbed up the dusty stairs and James paused at the top. "Don't hear anything," he muttered. "Come on."

He eased the door open slowly and left just enough space for the two of them to squeeze through. Luckily, the shop was deserted but for a large man who was sitting behind the old-fashioned till, head tipped back and snoring loudly. Lily bit back a laugh and walked quickly with James towards the door of the sweet shop. It jingled as they opened it, but the man at the counter merely gave a loud grunt and turned his head away from them.

Once they were outside, James took the cloak off. The Hogsmeade residents, thoroughly engrossed in their own shopping, did not notice them. Even if they had, Lily knew they would just think the two were a young couple, not students out of bounds on a Wednesday evening. Lily had expected the town to be deserted at five o'clock in the afternoon, but it seemed that wasn't the case. The Three Broomsticks, the pub that James led Lily into, was very crowded – not full of the usual pub patrons, but of what looked like the town council. The students seemed to have interrupted a meeting; a harassed-looking wizard was telling a story very forcefully in front of the thirty or so people. He had the attention of all of them; though some had drinks, it was apparent that they were only at the tavern to hear his story.

"-came out of nowhere and went on a killing spree, they did. Went for all the goblins. My cousin Vin, he escaped 'cause he's a wizard and they were only interested in the goblins, it seemed-"

The crowd of town officials broke out into angry and puzzled muttering. Lily and James exchanged a questioning glance. Had there been another attack?

Someone in the front caught her eye and her heart stopped. Rubeus Hagrid, the huge groundskeeper at Hogwarts, was engrossed in the story. As Lily watched, his ruddy face became even redder and the enormous hand that rested on the table beside his bucket of mead clenched menacingly.

"James!" Lily whispered, clutching the front of his robes and staring at Hagrid. To her surprise, James just smiled and waved at the huge man. Hagrid noticed him and waved back absentmindedly.

"James, but – he's a – we'll be-"

"Lily, it's all right. I promise. Hagrid knows I'm doing this anyway. He doesn't care."

Lily swallowed. "If you say so…."

Just then, Madam Rosmerta, the pretty barmaid, noticed that she had two other customers and got up from the chair where she had been listening to the wizard intently. She managed a preoccupied smile at the two and said, "James! Have a seat, won't you? I'm terribly sorry about all this, especially on your birthday-" she nodded at Lily "- but a horrible attack's just happened over in Yorkshire. Those horrid Death Eaters slaughtered an entire settlement of goblins…." She shook her head. "Anyway, please, sit. I'll come take your orders in just a tick." She bustled off behind the bar and James and Lily took a table near the back, away from the angry meeting. James seemed very keen to know more about the attack, but Lily had other things on her mind for the moment.

"James, how did she know we were coming?" Lily whispered, shooting a glance at Madam Rosmerta.

James smiled slightly distractedly. "I had to tell her so she wouldn't be surprised to see us and raise a fuss. She won't tell," James hurried to assure Lily, who was looking slightly worried. "She thought it was 'terribly romantic' that I was taking you out for your birthday."

Lily smiled, relaxing slightly. "Well, I've decided I don't care if we get caught. You're right, they won't take away our badges so close to the end of term, will they?"

"I just wish this wasn't going on," James said a bit grumpily, gesturing to the crowd of witches and wizards.

Lily smiled. She was happy to be there, away from school, regardless of what the circumstances were. "James, it's okay."

He saw her face and must have been able to tell that she wasn't bothered by the crowd (in which some were now demanding they storm the Ministry and put some "capable" wizards in charge) because he too relaxed. "As long as you're fine."

She took his hand in reply and forgot where she was for a moment as they stared at each other. How very…hazel…his eyes were. Honestly, there hadn't ever been another pair of perfectly beautiful hazel eyes like his before, had there?

"What'll it be to drink, then?"

Lily came to herself and looked up into the expectant face of Madam Rosmerta. She and James exchanged a quick glance before James said, "I'll have a Butterbeer. Lily?" He was looking at her rather significantly, a mischievous glimmer in his eyes.

Lily ordered the same, all the while grinning at James, and when Madam Rosemerta had left, she said, "Okay, Mister Clever Trousers, how much of my outing with Christopher Miller did you hear?"

"Enough to understand what gets on your nerves and what doesn't," James said loftily. When Lily gave him a piercing look, he broke down and laughed. "Right. All of it, actually. Sirius, Remus, Peter, and I were all sitting at the table behind yours – our chairs were practically back-to-back. That guy really is thick," he said, shaking his head.

"How so?"

"Well, I couldn't even see your face, but I could tell by the way you wiggled about in your chair after he ordered two Butterbeers and then put up your cloak that you were feeling rather crotchety."

Lily laughed delightedly, and at that moment, Madam Rosmerta arrived with their Butterbeers. "There we are. And I believe there's something back there in the kitchen for you, too," she said with a wink, and bustled off, her sparkly heals clicking on the floor.

"James, what else did you _do?_" Lily asked, her eyes wide with excitement.

"Saw to dinner," he said casually, grinning at her. "What?"

Lily was staring at him. "Why is Madam Rosmerta doing this for you? For us?"

"Weeell," he said slowly, still smiling, "she likes me quite a lot. Sirius and I used to make her die laughing. And she also likes you. Figures it's about time you went on a proper outing with a bloke."

"Would you call this a proper outing, then, Mr. Potter?"

"I would indeed, Miss Evans."

Lily laughed gleefully again when Madam Rosmerta clacked back to their table floating two dishes of shepherd's pie – Lily's favorite – and assorted cutlery. James and Lily discussed many things over their dinner. James told Lily a story about a particularly memorable Care of Magical Creatures class that had happened earlier in the year in which Remus, Sirius, and James were caught trying to smuggle subdued doxies back up to the castle to test their venom for a prank to play on Severus Snape; they had managed to ingeniously wriggle out of detention by blaming the doxies on Remus. They had pretended Remus wanted to study them further because he had a fascination with magical creatures but had been too timid to smuggle them out alone; old Professor Kettleburn had rather tearfully commended Remus and even given the three a few extra doxies to "study further".

As Lily chuckled into her Butterbeer, she remembered something she wanted to ask James. "Oh, James, I've been meaning to ask, how is Remus's relative?"

James went oddly still and said, "What?"

Lily peered at him curiously. "Remus's relative," she said slowly. "You know, the one he went away to visit a couple of weekends ago. The relative who's always sick – I heard from somebody it was his aunt. What's _wrong?_"

James must have realized he was staring at her strangely and he shook his head. "Sorry, sorry, it's just – I can't believe you never figured it out."

"Figured _what_ out?" Lily asked, feeling her curiosity peaking.

James sighed and looked around. "Lily, this isn't really the time to tell you-"

"It's my birthday, James."

James sighed again, but this time in resignation; her face told him all he needed to know about what her mood would be like if he didn't tell her. He lowered his voice (even though this wasn't very necessary as the council was now shouting rather drunkenly about making Madam Rosmerta Minister of Magic) and said, "There is no sick relative. There never has been. He's been leaving the grounds once a month."

"But why?"

"Because Remus is…well, Lily, he's…he's a werewolf."

Lily stared at him for a moment, her brain completely frozen from the shock of his announcement. "No he's not," she said finally, laughing incredulously. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. He's completely normal, I would have noticed-"

But then she remembered something that made her stop speaking abruptly, remembered something she had seen but never really thought about…. Last year, as she was looking out of her window on a crisp fall evening, she noticed two figures walking down the sloping lawns towards a huge tree called the Whomping Willow that attacked anyone that went near it. She was certain one of the figures was the school nurse, Madam Pomfrey, and the other looked slightly familiar as well, though she couldn't quite place him. The darkness seemed to swallow Madam Pomfrey and the boy somewhere around the vicinity of the willow. Lily stared out for a moment longer before shaking her head and returning to her studies. She hadn't thought about it again.

And then another instance with Remus that had struck her as odd sprang up in her mind. Back in fourth year when they had been studying Dark creatures, their teacher, Professor Kiser, had set the class against a Boggart, calling each one of them forward and making them battle their worst fear. Remus Lupin's Boggart had turned into a silvery orb that Lily had trouble discerning – was it a crystal ball? – before he destroyed it by making it explode. She realized now it was a _moon_, and that meant-

"Moony?" Lily asked James, and she was surprised at how calm her voice sounded.

James nodded slowly. He looked down at his plate, where he had just finished off the last of his pie, and then back up at her. "We found out ages ago – end of first year. Remus hadn't told us because he thought we'd shun him, like everyone else who knows about him. He almost didn't get to go to Hogwarts, you know. If it hadn't been for Dumbledore, he wouldn't be here." James looked down sadly. It seemed he wanted to tell her more but was very reluctant to do so.

Lily knew something else was up. She was thinking about the nicknames of the group of friends – Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. She had never been too curious about learning the background of the names (after all, she had hated the Marauders) and thought they were just silly nicknames. But now – now she wasn't so sure. She felt a chill of foreboding. "But James, what about, you know, your nicknames?"

A very odd array of emotions flashed across his face at her words. The most obvious, however, was hesitation. He sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair. "I – Lily, this isn't the place-"

Lily nodded in understanding, for she knew he would tell her eventually, but James seemed to want to give her a satisfactory excuse. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you now," he said almost urgently. "I'd have to be somewhere where you could _see_."

Lily hadn't the foggiest idea as to how showing her something pertained to the idea of nicknames, but she did know one thing: she could survive without knowing for now. She smiled at him gently. "Jamie, it's okay. I understand. So long as you'll tell me eventually."

His face relaxed into a smile. "I swear, I'll tell you the moment I can. More Butterbeer?"

When the two returned to the castle at quarter past six, it was to pandemonium. They stepped into the entrance hall and stopped in shock. The entire school, teachers included, was running around with green, red, pink, purple, and yellow slime all over their bodies, trying to get away from what looked like flying pastries that, as Lily and James watched, seemed to be charmed to explode over people's heads. The entrance hall was a huge mass of slippery, multi-colored slime and shrieking Hogwarts students and teachers trying to escape from the mad pastries.

Without thinking twice, James grabbed Lily and they hurried into the nearest room, which turned out to be the small chamber off the Great Hall that the first years waited in every year before being Sorted. There was already a small crowd of disgusting students there, all of whom looked to be either very angry or very excited. James and Lily squeezed through them, stopping before a huddle of Hufflepuff seventh years. Caradoc Dearborn was covered in bright yellow slime and was smearing it surreptitiously on Hestia Jones's back as she talked to her friends.

"James, Lily," he said, beckoning them over. Lily noticed that his dark hair was almost completely covered by neon yellow slime. "Wow, you're dry. How'd you manage to do that?"

"How did _this _happen?" James asked, gawking around at all the students. "Were those exploding_ pastries_?"

"You weren't there?" Hestia asked, turning around to listen to the conversation. She wiped some pink slime onto Caradoc's shoulder nonchalantly.

James and Lily exchanged a quick glance. "Er, no, we were – out."

Caradoc looked at them closely but didn't press the matter. "Right, well, we were all at dinner – and this must've been an half an hour ago – and it was packed, and suddenly all these really delicious-looking pastries soar into the Great Hall on five big platters – you know, one for each table – with a note that said something like, 'With love from the House-elves. The teachers were kind of wary, but we all dug in, and as soon as we took a bite, they all became possessed and started exploding in everyone's face. McGonagall started yelling bunches of spells but they exploded even more, and then-"

"Then more came in," Hestia interrupted. "Hundreds more. All the students started running, but the slime is so slippery that no one could get out. Loads hid under the tables, but some – like us – got out into the entrance hall where-"

"More of the pastries were waiting," Caradoc said, taking the conversation back again. "We were in the first bunch, got it full in the face." He took a glob of yellow goo from his hair and smeared it on the top of Hestia's black hair. She didn't even flinch.

"So after slipping about for a bit, we took refuge in here," Hestia explained. She grunted as they were pushed farther back in the small room as more slimy students piled in. "It's great, though. Loads of fun. We've been out again, just sliding around." She turned to her friends. "Right, want to go back out?"

She and Caradoc were obviously the leaders of the gang. They nodded solemnly to Lily and James and charged through the crowd before going out of the room. Lily and James took the space they had vacated gratefully; Lily was starting to feel a bit claustrophobic. As she watched, James reached over and scooped a great handful of mixed slime – it was an odd brown color – from a nearby Ravenclaw's shoulder and placed bits of it strategically in Lily's hair and on her face. He stepped back to admire his work as Lily wiped some away from her right eye.

"Thanks so much," she said sarcastically, looking around for some with which to decorate him. She spied a hot pink glob of goo on a fourth-year Hufflepuff's shoulder and she scooped it off neatly before smearing it all over James's chest and his cheeks.

"Now we blend with the scenery, Lily," he told her cheerfully, and she couldn't help but grin back. This was a strange way to end one's romantic eighteenth-birthday dinner, but Lily decided she liked it.

She was feeling a bit suspicious, however, as the Marauders were usually behind huge tricks like these, and so she put her hands on her hips and glared at James in the most McGonagall way possible. "All right, James Potter, I want to know how involved you were in this."

"Yes, that is what _I'd_ like to know as well."

Lily spun around to face the real Professor McGonagall. She looked ready to commit murder and was gripping her wand in white-knuckled, slime-covered hands. Her hair was an interesting shade of magenta, her robes stained beyond recognition, and her bun had come almost completely down from its ties. Her nostrils were deadly white and her mouth was almost invisible. "If you do _not_ tell the teachers _how _to get rid of this – this _disgusting substance_ right now, Mr. Potter-"

James held up his hands. "Professor, you've got the wrong idea. It wasn't me – us. I didn't know anything about it."

Professor McGonagall stopped within inches of James's face and stared at him for a moment, breathing heavily, before backing down. "All right, Mr. Potter, all right. But so help me, if I discover you actually were in on this plot – _no Quidditch match for you!_"

James and Lily stared after her as she pushed through the students, who scattered when they saw who it was. She flung open the door so she was half inside the small chamber and half in the entrance hall, pointed to her throat, and cried, "_Sonorus!_", a spell Lily knew would magnify her voice to ten times its normal volume. She yelled, "Back to your common rooms, students! And if the group who did this would KINDLY tell us how to get rid of this mess, we would be much obliged! Otherwise, so help me, I will CANCEL THE QUIDDITCH FINALS! Under_stand?_ _CANCEL _THE_ QUIDDITCH FINALS_! Now back to your common rooms, and for goodness sake, try not to track too much of this up there!"

There was already a gaggle of slipping students making their way up the marble staircase when Lily and James got back into the entrance hall. A mass of students were also coming out of the Great Hall, and the pastries were still pursuing them. Lily and James collided with someone and both fell painfully on their backsides. The person they had run into turned out to be Sirius.

"Oy, Prongs! Isn't this brilliant? Wish we'd had this idea!" he yelled over the din, holding out his hands to them both. Lily and James accepted it greatly and hauled themselves up. Lily was completely covered now, and it was hard to walk through the goo, which in some spots went above her shoes. As they stood still, a pastry exploded over their heads, covering them in red slime.

"Let's get out of here!" Lily cried, and James nodded.

"Coming, Sirius?"

"Don't leave yet, Prongs, this stuff's awesome! Besides, Gwen and Remus and Peter left at the beginning. Gwen wasn't too happy."

Lily grinned. No, Gwen wouldn't have been too happy. "I'm going up," she said to them both, and James hesitated, looking between the two. "Stay, James. You've made my birthday perfect – I won't mind if we don't see each other until tomorrow."

James grinned and kissed her quickly, adding more slime to her face. "See you in the morning, Lils."

Lily trooped up the stairs with some difficulty behind the other Ravenclaw and Gryffindor students and later just the Gryffindors as they continued their ascent to the seventh floor. The common room was packed with slime-covered students; Lily tried half-heartedly for a few moments to get everyone up to bed but then gave up and took her own shower before hopping gratefully into her comfortable four-poster. Gwen was next to her, snoring peacefully. Lily could still hear the noises from the common room below, but she was so tired she didn't pay them any attention. She sighed with contentment, for it had been one of her best birthdays in memory, before drifting off to sleep.

The next morning, however, the tone of the common room was much different. When Lily went downstairs with Gwen and Dorcas, everyone looked as if their favorite dog had died – even Sirius, Remus, and Peter, who were sitting in their usual corner. James was nowhere to be seen.

"Morning," Gwen said, sitting down next to Sirius. "What's got into everybody?"

Sirius turned a very mournful face towards her. "We're done for, Gwen."

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked as she pulled a chair up next to Peter. "Where's James?"

"You know that slime last night?" Sirius asked, sighing heavily. Lily nodded. "Well, it turns out those two fourth years, Roger McKenzie and Allen Pope, bewitched all those pastries. And then, damn it, McGonagall took fifty points from each of them."

Gwen's jaw dropped. "_What?_ But – but – that means-"

"Yeah," Sirius said grimly.

"Quidditch cup," Remus told Lily and Dorcas, both of whom were looking distinctly puzzled. "We're last now for it and the house cup, and Slytherin's first with 410 points – that's exactly 70 points more than us."

"Where's James?" Dorcas asked after a beat of shocked silence. "He hasn't thrown himself off the astronomy tower, has he?"

Peter shrugged miserably. "He said he was going somewhere to think. I suppose he wants to be left alone."

"Really, you think?" Gwen asked sarcastically, throwing her head back so it was resting on the top of the couch. "Sounds like a good idea, actually," she mumbled, staring at the ceiling.

"So we have to be seventy points in the lead against Ravenclaw before catching the Snitch this weekend to win the house and Quidditch cups?" Lily asked, her eyebrows launching towards the sky.

"Pretty much," Remus sighed, shooting glances at Sirius, who had buried his head in his hands.

"It'll never happen," Gwen, the eternal optimist, moaned. She turned her head around so it was smashed against the back of the couch. "They're too good," she said, her voice muffled. "Too good."

All day the Gryffindors moved through classes in a daze. The Slytherins, on the other hand, were almost indecently happy and took to joyfully proclaiming their sure victory all day. The Ravenclaws weren't out yet, though, and they were much happier than they had been before – a window had opened for them. If they pulled a huge win against the Gryffindors, they might be able to tie with Slytherin for the Quidditch cup….

Professor McGonagall was practically shunned by her house; Lily admired (secretly, of course) how she didn't flinch at all when she walked into the seventh years' Transfiguration class, only to be greeted with a sullen silence and glares. She endured a lesson of disinterest bordering on defiance, and only cracked when James said "Why did we ever believe she wanted us to really _win?_" loudly as he was lazily transfiguring his potted plant to a salad and back.

Professor McGonagall clenched her jaw, turned on James, and snapped, "I will not tolerate such abuse from you, Potter. I rather expected it was beneath you. _Kindly_ act your age."

Lily bit her lip to keep from laughing at James's thunderstruck face as McGonagall swept away from his desk, wand and nose in the air. Sirius elbowed James with a guffaw and James gave him such a glare that Sirius backed off, looking bemusedly hurt. Gwen, who was seated next to Lily, didn't move; she'd been in the same position all lesson, staring at her potted plant, her blue eyes glazed over. Lily had secretly been transfiguring both Gwen's plant and her own all lesson. She didn't care as much as the others for the Quidditch cup, though she would, of course, be ecstatic if they won.

The week passed by in a blur. Even though they professed to have no hope, the team practiced at all hours, their homework and studying put on hold as they prepared for what would be their hardest match to date. All too soon, Lily, Dorcas, Remus, Peter, and Mary Katherine were heading down to the Quidditch pitch for the last match of the season. James, the captain, had encouraged his team to eat while taking nothing for himself; the team had, in turn, shuffled their eggs and bacon around their plates before finally giving up. The Gryffindors had never approached a match with such downtrodden spirits before. However, that didn't stop them from roaring at the top of their lungs as their team came out of the locker rooms. Lily looked around at the crowd; more than half were decked out in blue and white, including the Slytherins and the Hufflepuffs, though a few Hufflepuffs had dressed in scarlet and were cheering on the Gryffindors. Hestia Jones and Caradoc Dearborn were among those Hufflepuffs; Lily's heart warmed considerably towards them.

Lily turned her attention back to the game in time to see James shake hands with the Christopher Miller, who was, of course, the Ravenclaw captain, before mounting his broom and standing ready. Madam Hooch blew her whistle sharply and they all shot up into the sky.

The May day was very clear, for which Lily was quite grateful – it was very easy to spot the players. James in particular held her attention as he moved quickly through the air, dodging the players in the blue robes and shouting to his scarlet teammates. He was the first one to score a goal, only thirty seconds into the game, and the Gryffindor supporters roared as if they had won the cup.

From then on, it was almost easy. The Gryffindor team had never played so well before; its coordination was perfect, and its daring and ruthless moves elicited gasps of surprise from its supporters and rivals alike. Sirius and his fellow Beater, Amelia Proust, were all over the field, saving their team members from the vicious Bludgers and hitting them with deadly accuracy at the Ravenclaws. Betty Harkerator, their Keeper, had never been in such fine form; she only let the Quaffle past her and into the goal twice. After nearly an hour of play, the score was a miraculous eighty to twenty. Lily's hands were clenched as she watched Lucinda Cunvil, one of the Chasers, weave through the Ravenclaws. All they needed was one more goal….Just one more, then Gwen could start looking for the Snitch-

The roars of the Gryffindor supporters that rang out through the stadium when Lucinda flung the Quaffle into the far right hoop in their goal were deafening. Jon Cox, who was again commenting, was a Gryffindor fan, and was beside himself with glee.

"AND I DON'T BELIEVE IT! GRYFFINDOR'S MANAGED TO PULL SEVENTY POINTS INTO THE LEAD! YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN – GWEN WATSON, START LOOKING FOR THAT SNITCH!"

Gwen didn't need to be told twice. She was already pelting around the stadium, her eyes peeled keenly for a glimmer of the tiny Golden Snitch, the Ravenclaw Seeker on her heels.

But things had turned for the worse below the two. The Ravenclaw team, enraged that it was being beaten so terribly, managed to score again against Betty, and were awarded with a penalty shot when Sirius hit Christopher with his bat and pretended he hadn't noticed the Keeper was there. John Tucker got the Quaffle past Betty, and the Gryffindors moaned in disappointment. Gwen slowed down her search and looked grimly at her teammates. James called a timeout.

After Madam Hooch called the team back into the air, the Gryffindors fought with new enthusiasm. They had tasted the cup and weren't about to give it up. James scored against Christopher; the score was now 100 to 40. Gryffindor was awarded a penalty when Christopher, in retaliation for his earlier assault, elbowed Sirius in the eye. Lucinda and Geoffrey had to physically restrain Gwen from rushing at Christopher as James got the shot past him, making the Gryffindors once again seventy points in the lead.

And then, everyone's heart stopped as the Ravenclaw Seeker dove sharply from his position near the Ravenclaw goal hoops; the Gryffindor supporters screeched as one for Gwen, who was still near the Gryffindor hoops, to turn around. The Snitch was fluttering about ten feet off the ground, right smack in the middle of the pitch. Gwen was soon hurtling towards the ground, gaining on the Ravenclaw Seeker every second. … They were level….

"YES!"

Cheers exploded from the stands as Gwen rose out of the dive with the tiny Golden Snitch clutched tightly in her palm, face flushed with exertion and her victory. And then Sirius grabbed her and kissed her. James hit both of them with the force of a battering ram a second later; the rest of the team copied him, tears streaming down their faces, and they slowly moved towards the ground in a huge bundle.

Lily, Remus, Peter, Dorcas, and Mary Katherine sprinted down the stairs and onto the field as quickly as they could. By the time they were on the ground, the seven team members were on the shoulders of the hysterical Gryffindor supporters, being carried slowly towards the place where Professor Dumbledore stood with the Quidditch cup. Lily's heart felt like it was going to burst as James took the cup from Dumbledore and held it aloft before passing it to Gwen, who was sobbing unrestrainedly onto Sirius's neck. James searched the people, looking for someone, as Lily fought fiercely through the screaming crowd, trying to get to him.

"Get out of my _bloody_ way, I'm Head Girl! _Excuse me_!" she yelled, and finally James spotted her; he untangled himself from the people holding him aloft and elbowed his way through. She flung her arms around him when they finally found each other, and when he kissed her in the middle of the roaring crowd, she knew that it just didn't get much better than this.


	8. Chapter Eight

A/N: This is the end of Part One. I had originally planned to write Part One and Part Two before HBP, but because of time constraints, this is the last from this story that you will be reading until after July 16th. But do not fear - I shall return! Mad laughter

Chapter Eight

_Life and love are life and love, a bunch of violets is a bunch of violets, and to drag in the idea of a point is to ruin everything. Live and let live, love and let love, flower and fade, and follow the natural curve, which flows on, pointless. _

_-D. H. Lawrence_

The Gryffindors' ecstasy at their amazing victory lasted into exam week, despite the seventh years' horrible N.E.W.T.s. Lily celebrated with the best of them after the match (a party that went on well into the night) and joined in with the still excited chatter as they reviewed the match again on Sunday before hurrying off to the library to study for their first exam, Charms.

Charms was perhaps Lily's best subject, but she still wanted to review everything. She spent the day going over everything they had been taught in the _Standard Book of Spells, Grade 7_. Once she had completed all the small Charms that Madam Porter couldn't see, she packed up all of her books and hauled the lot back to Gryffindor Tower, where she could practice the bigger Charms. To her extreme annoyance, the common room was full to bursting with chattering students. Her blood boiling, Lily counted backwards from ten, itching to tell off the students, and calmed herself down as she found a table in the back and sat down. _If they want to fail all their exams, well, that's perfectly fine with me,_ she said to herself with forced calmness. _It's not your problem, Evans._

After an hour of being interrupted, however, the calming voice had started to lose its sway and the part of Lily that wanted to tear everyone limb from limb was gaining more power in her mind. She was clutching the book in her hands without seeing the page, trying desperately not to lose control, when someone called, "Lily! C'mon, let's go to dinner!"

It was James. She looked up; he was trying to get to her through the crowd of students leaving the common room. And, without warning, a long-dormant feeling sprung up within Lily: extreme annoyance with James Potter. _He hasn't studied at all, has he?_ she thought furiously, staring at him. And he was probably one of the loudest people in the room as she was trying to get some work done. Why didn't he have more respect?

"Lily, we're going down to dinner. Want to come?"

"No, thank you," she said, jaw clenched, as she balled her hands into fists under the table. She was longing to lash out at him, ask him why he wasn't studying so she could yell at him. Hell, he would probably do _better_ on the exam than she would! That's how it _always_ was, wasn't it?

"Are you all right?" he asked, looking puzzled.

For a supposedly clever boy, he was being awfully stupid at the moment.

"Yes, James, I'm fantastic."

"Oh, okay, then," he said, still looking confused. "D'you want me to bring anything up for you?"

"No, I'll manage," she said through gritted teeth.

"Sure?"

_Can he not take a bloody hint?_

"Yes, I'm positive."

"Okay, then…. See you in a bit."

He was one of the last to leave the common room, and Lily felt a rush of irritation towards her other friends for not coming up and asking her to go to dinner with them too. Did no one remember fifth year when she didn't eat at all and had to go to the hospital wing? They were probably too obsessed with the stupid Quidditch game to think about their other, non-Quidditch, friends who wanted to do well on the exams…_stupid Quidditch_….

Lily turned back to her books with a scowl. Fine. She would laugh when they all failed.

For the whole first week of exams, Lily was the first to get up in the morning and the last to leave the common room at night without fail. She didn't speak to her friends practically at all, knowing she would end up doing something rash, but she was hurt that they didn't even attempt to draw her out either. She had never felt so stressed out in her life, and was bitterly disappointed with her Defense Against the Dark Arts exam. During it she had been so distraught over the written part, which had taken place that morning, and over the Potions exam the following Monday (which she was sure she would fail miserably), that she had failed to come up with a happy thought and thus her Patronus had become nothing but a silvery mess. She immersed herself into her Potions over the weekend; thankfully, the Quidditch high everyone had been on was wearing off, and the common room was almost totally silent.

Lily was at the same table she had been at for the entire week on Sunday night, bent over her notes, eyes moving rapidly through them. She didn't realize James was talking to her until he waved his hand in front of her face.

"Earth to Lily!" he said, smiling. Her head snapped up and she glared at him, annoyance sparking quickly. Dorcas, Gwen, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Mary Katherine were all looking at her with concern from a huddle behind James.

"What?" she snapped. She looked around at them, her mood rapidly becoming very foul. "Do you _need_ something?"

They looked at each other quickly. Lily guessed that they had been talking about her; her temper rose even more.

After a pause, James seemed to reach a decision. "Right, c'mon Lily, we're going for a walk," he said firmly, taking her arm.

Lily jerked it out of his grasp. "I need to study," she hissed.

"No, no, you need a break, Lily," he said, crouching down so he was at her eye level. "I miss you. Come on, let's get out of here. I know you need a break from this rubbish."

Then she lost it.

"You _know_ I need a _break_? I bloody do not need a bloody break! Some of us have to _study_, Potter!"

James froze when she spat his last name at him and he rose slowly to his feet, brown eyes clouding quickly.

"Ever heard of it?" Lily continued, hardly knowing what she was saying. "It's what the peons have to do! Not the brilliant James Potter, who can bloody _walk _into an exam and make a three hundred percent without even _looking_ at his notes! What I'm wondering is how you can even _get_ to the exam with that huge _head_ on your shoulders!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, his voice deadly quiet.

She stood up. She was slightly aware that everyone in the room was staring at them, but she didn't care. A wild recklessness had taken her over. "You know what it means! You're so _arrogant;_ I haven't even seen you pick up a book to study! One day your stupid luck is going to _run out_, and guess what? I'm going to LAUGH!" His face blanched to the color of parchment before slowly becoming tomato-red. She had made him quite livid and took a perverse pleasure from it.

"I thought we had got past my _arrogance, _Lily," he said, voice rising with unbridled anger.

"You might've – I never did, because it's still bloody _there_! Just a second ago you told me I needed a break. How _dare_ you presume to know what I want?"

"I was trying to help!" he cried in exasperation. "Help you! But you're too stubborn and pigheaded to take it, I guess!"

"Oh come _off it_, Potter! Everyone knows you just wanted a snog!"

There was a shocked silence in which James stared at her, breathing heavily, and she met his eyes boldly. And then he exploded.

"How dare _you_ presume to know what _I _want, Evans?" he yelled, throwing her words back into her face. "Bloody hell, sorry I tried to _help_ you! See if I _ever_ do it again!"

"I don't _need _your bloody help!"

"Fine!"

"_Fine_!"

They both stormed away from each other, Lily stomping up the steps to her dormitory and James up to his own room. Lily flung open the wooden door and made a beeline for her bed, upon which she fumed numbly for about a second before bursting into tears. Gwen, Dorcas, and Mary Katherine had followed her up at a safe distance, and they seemed relieved that Lily wasn't ranting anymore as they sat down on her bed. Lily swallowed her pride and let herself cry onto their shoulders as they murmured soothing things to her. When Lily had finished sobbing, she pulled back and wiped her very wet face on her bedspread.

"It's all right, Lily," Gwen said soothingly, rubbing her back. "Don't worry, dear, it's all right-"

"It's not all right!" Lily moaned suddenly, tears coming back into her puffy, stinging eyes. "I went stark-raving mad down there!"

And she burst into tears again. She knew that she had just been baiting him, irking him on purpose because she was a jealous, selfish prat who didn't care about anyone but herself-

"Did I really accuse him of just wanting a snog?" she gasped, tears flowing down her cheeks. They looked at each other uncomfortably.

"Well, yes," Dorcas said hesitatingly.

"Oh, Merlin, and he _believed_ me?" she wailed, looking at them with desperation before burying her head into her pillow.

"Erm…."

After a few moments of silence, during which her friends started to wonder if Lily had suffocated herself, the redhead raised her head. "Do you think he hates me?" she whispered, looking at her three friends in complete and utter horror with bloodshot green eyes.

There was a slight, almost imperceptible pause before the three other girls denied it forcefully, but Lily caught the silence and its meaning; she then cried until she had no more tears left. Tired out from sobbing, sleep, merciful sleep, came quickly.

Lily was a miserable wreck the next day. She had woken up in the middle of the night and not fallen back asleep for several hours, dwelling on her and James's huge row. She hadn't meant a word of it, but did James know that?

It turned out he didn't. He was just as angry as he had been the night before and Lily was much too stubborn to apologize to him as he glared at her over breakfast. She tried desperately to make herself feel even a slight bit of anger towards him, but it was next to impossible and made her heart sore to try. She didn't know how she made it through her Potions exam, but somehow she did and was sitting at her normal table as she studied for Care of Magical Creatures later that evening. James kept sending her unmistakable daggers with his eyes as he sat in his usual corner with his friends, laughing rambunctiously and pointedly not studying.

"Just apologize, Lily," Gwen said, catching her as she looked over at him for the hundredth time that evening. Gwen was sitting with her friend, trying to go over her own notes, and was sick of Lily's alternating tuts of impatience and sighs of heartache. "You did sort of attack him last night. He's certainly not going to make the first move."

Lily's temper flared. "Oh, so it's my fault now, is it?" she shrieked, not bothering to lower her voice.

"Shut up, Lily, you know that's not what I meant," Gwen snapped, and Lily glared at her for a long moment before deciding she couldn't afford to make another enemy.

"I know," she said wearily, green eyes dropping back to her notes.

Gwen softened. "Don't worry, Lily, it'll all straighten out."

But as Saturday, the day they would leave Hogwarts for the last time, loomed closer without any movement from either side, no one was sure about that anymore. Lily had got to the point where she couldn't hear James's name without smashing something or bursting into tears, depending on her mood. Still, she tortured herself by squeezing everything she could out of her friends about him.

"He's still angry, then?"

"Yes, Lily, he's still angry."

"Oh. Did he mention me at all when you were over there?"

"No, Lily, he didn't mention you at all."

"Oh. Did he look upset, then?"

"Yes, Lily, he looked quite upset."

She knew she was driving Mary Katherine, Dorcas, and Gwen mad, but she couldn't help it. She felt like her heart was breaking in two whenever she saw him, though she couldn't gather up enough courage to swallow her pride and apologize. And James, as he had done nothing wrong ("It was self-defense, Lily," Gwen had informed her irritably countless times), wasn't about to talk to her.

Things were looking very dismal as Wednesday dawned. Lily felt numb the whole day; how she got through her last exam, she never knew. She was becoming desperate, and as she watched James in his usual spot with his celebrating friends after they had taken their last exam, his despondent face (which was a very welcome change from the cold looks and deadly glares) gave her a tiny glimmer of hope. He was obviously hurting as badly as she was.

She turned away from him, not wanting to be caught staring, and looked down at her lap. She was surrounded by a chattering, celebrating crowd, but she felt very removed from them all. The noise of their happiness seemed to dim as Lily carefully, almost hesitantly, explored her feelings about a James-less existence. She hadn't known what to expect for this summer (she wasn't even thinking about the autumn yet, when she would know whether her applications to St. Mungo's had been accepted or not), but she had been positive that it would involve James in some way, shape or form. As she sat there, she realized that James Potter, a boy she had once hated with every fiber of her existence, was now invaluable to her and her life. From that, as she continued exploring, she came to one simple yet horribly complicated conclusion: she couldn't live without him.

Emboldened by her sudden realization, Lily jerked her head up and sought him out again, determined to apologize and have this whole thing mended – after all, this was practically her last chance. But she felt her heart plummet as she noticed he and his fellow Marauders had left the common room.

"Where's James?" she heard herself asking; it came out a bit sharper than necessary, but her friends didn't seem to mind.

"He went to nick some food from the kitchens," Dorcas said after a pause, looking at her with wide eyes. She, Gwen, and Mary Katherine were staring at Lily as though she were a very valuable and breakable piece of pottery that could shatter at any second.

"I'm sure you could – could catch him," Mary Katherine said hesitantly. "If you hurried…."

Lily sighed. No, she didn't want to apologize in front of all the Marauders. She decided that it was one thing to apologize to James directly and quite another to make herself swallow her pride and humble herself in front of others. She shook her head. She could tell her friends wanted to pry, to find out whether she was going to close the breach or not, but she ignored their curious stares and thought rapidly. _Now_ what was she going to do?

For the next two nights, Lily lay awake thinking about James until an unseemly hour. It wasn't until her last night at Hogwarts, however, that she actually did something about it.

That night, as per usual, she couldn't make herself go to sleep with that horrible feeling in her stomach – the feeling that if she didn't try now, the opportunity would slip away and never return. It was magnified ten times on that particular night. She was hot and sticky in the summer heat, and no matter how much she tossed and turned, she couldn't get comfortable. She was also vaguely aware that this was the last night she would ever spend as a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but at the moment, that took second place to her other problem.

After a long time grappling with her feelings, Lily finally gave in and, gathering up her courage, did the only thing that she could think of.

She jumped out of bed quietly and stole towards the door. It was half past three in the morning, and she was positive her fellow Gryffindors were asleep. She quietly opened the door, blessing it for not squeaking, and hurried down the spiral stairs. Once at the bottom, she practically sprinted for the boys' staircase and took the stairs two at a time; she knew that if she stopped to think about what she was doing she would never go through with it.

When she arrived at the first door, she cursed her stupidity. It was pitch black, and as she had left her wand in her room, she couldn't see the plaque next to the door that would tell her what dormitory it was.

"For the love of Merlin," she muttered to herself with exasperation as she pressed her nose against the plaque, desperately and vainly trying to see what number was printed there. But it was impossible; she could barely see her hand before her face, much less an inscription on a block of wood.

And so, she decided just to open the door and look around.

The first door she opened she was able to close again immediately; it had had about six beds in it, when the room she was looking for should only have four. The next room had three, the following five. Lily was panting as she hauled herself up another staircase and opened another door.

This room looked promising. It had four beds, and – yes – she could see the moonlight reflecting off a pair of familiar glasses on the nightstand next to the bed closest to the window. She made a beeline for it and, as she did so, felt her heart rate increase drastically. She couldn't believe what she was about to do.

She pulled back the hangings and saw, to her immense and utter relief, that the boy asleep inside was indeed James. She thanked her lucky stars and beamed at his sleeping form for a moment before stopping to think about what she was doing. She didn't even know what to say – and she didn't want to wake him up. How silly, this was all such a ridiculous idea –

And yet…well, she certainly didn't have a better plan.

So, she carefully pulled the hangings back a bit more, enough for her to slide through, and hesitated a moment before sitting down. James stirred – woken up by the sudden weight at the bottom of his mattress – opened his eyes, and stared at her. It sent a shock through her system, as she hadn't ever seen him without his glasses on.

"Lily?" he whispered questioningly, squinting badly at her. Lily hastily reached for his glasses and presented them to him as he sat up. He pushed them on hastily, still staring at her. She flushed mightily as the sheet dropped away and she discovered he wasn't wearing a shirt. She forced herself to look at his face, however, and swallowed hard. He grabbed his wand from beneath his pillow and lit it; they both squinted in the sudden light.

"Hi," she whispered back, pulling her legs up onto his bed and folding them beneath her. He cast a quick Silencing Charm and asked in his normal voice, "What're you-"

"Hang on a minute," she told him, taking a deep breath. "I'm going to talk for a bit, okay?" He nodded in acceptance, looking at her warily.

"So, I'm an unbelievable idiot," she began, and took another deep breath. "I attacked you without reason, and I'm sorry, James. Really sorry. And I'm sorry again for not apologizing quicker. It's just – you're right, I am pigheaded, and it took me this long to swallow my stupid pride and set things straight. I didn't mean anything I said, and I take it all back. You're _not _arrogant, you're one of the most thoughtful people I've ever met in my life, and I just get so jealous of you, James, because you can get such brilliant grades without even trying – or so it seems. And I _know_ you didn't just want a snog – I was being completely terrible and I didn't even know what I was saying. It was still awful, though, and don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm just really sorry and…." She realized she was rambling and trailed off. "I just, James… I realized something. I realized that I can't operate properly or function or work at all right.…" _Oh God, Lily, just spit it out! _

"I suppose I'm trying to say that I can't…"

As the silence stretched out and she flushed more than she ever had flushed before in her life, he smiled slightly at her, eyebrows raised. "You can't…"

"I can't – I can't really…live…without you," she confessed in a very small voice.

The silence between them seemed to go on for ages as Lily waited, hardly breathing, for him to say something.

And then he grinned.

"Took you long enough, Evans."

Before she knew what she was doing Lily had launched herself at him, propelling him backwards into the headboard, which his head met with a dull _clunk_, but neither of them cared. Their lips met, sending tingles all through Lily's body, and she threaded her fingers through his hair, which was messier than ever from sleep. He pulled hers down from the bun she kept it in when she slept, and suddenly they were enveloped in a dark red curtain.

Lily couldn't form a coherent thought, but she did know one thing: he had never kissed her like _this_ before. It was as though he was pouring all of his feelings for her – feelings that hadn't faded over their brief separation, but seemed to have intensified – into her. She felt a sudden wetness running down her cheek, and realized at the same time James did that she was crying. He pushed her back from him gently and looked at the silver tear before gently brushing it away and kissing the spot, and then her eyelids.

"James, I-" Lily began, not really knowing what she was saying, her voice breaking as more tears ran down her cheeks.

"Shh…." He silenced her by kissing her soundly and taking her in his arms. It was there that, finally, Lily fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.

The next morning, fate would have it that Sirius was the first to awaken in the boys' dormitory. A jolt of excitement rushed through his system as he realized that today was his last day as a student. Today was the beginning of the rest of his life.

He jumped out of bed and flung back the curtains to James's bed, planning to wake him up with a loud bang of some sort, and stopped dead, mouth hanging open in shock.

Lily Evans was in bed with him.

Her head was resting on his chest – his _bare_ chest – and her long, dark red hair was spilled out around her, catching the early sunlight like fire. James' arm was encircling her and his mouth was hanging open slightly, glasses crooked on his nose.

Sirius let the sight soak in for a moment before doubling over in badly suppressed mirth. He rushed over and poked both Peter and Remus awake, pointing over to James's bed and making frantic hushing gestures and noises. They both beheld James and Lily in the same way Sirius had: shock, then laughter.

"Get your camera!" Sirius mouthed to Peter through his hilarity, and Peter rushed to his trunk, pulling his camera out of its neatly packed depths and handing it quickly to Sirius. Sirius snapped a photograph, causing the camera to expel a large purple cloud of smoke, and then leaned over the two sleeping students. He took a deep breath before yelling at the top of his lungs, "WAKE UP, SLEEPYHEADS!"

They jerked awake instantly. It took a moment for them to process the situation with their sleep-muddled brains, but once they did, Lily leapt out of bed as if it was on fire, coloring to the roots of her hair, and James let out a strangled sort of yell. They both tried to explain the state of affairs at the same time.

"No, no, it's not what it looks like-"

"We just slept-"

"She came in to apologize last night-"

"I'm still in my nightgown-"

Peter, Sirius, and Remus were practically on the floor they were laughing so hard. They were very obviously not listening to their friends at all.

"Oh, would you lot _please_ grow up?" Lily finally demanded, her temper running short from embarrassment. She snuck a look at James; to her immense displeasure, she saw his mouth was twitching and he looked very much like he wished to join in with his friends.

"C'mon, Lily, you've got to admit it's funny."

It was funny, but there was absolutely no way she was ever going to admit that to him. She took a deep breath, made a conscious effort to ignore Sirius and Peter (as Remus, thankfully, had got himself under control), and said calmly to James, "Can I use your Invisibility Cloak?"

He dug the cloak out of his trunk and kissed her before giving it to her. They exchanged one glowing glance that said everything before she slipped the cloak on, called, "See you on the train," with as much dignity as she could muster to Sirius, Remus, and Peter, and exited the dormitory, their laughter ringing down behind her. It was a bit hard going down the stairs, as countless boys were pulling their trunks down to the common room, but she managed to do it without attracting any attention, and she rushed up the opposite staircase. She got to her dormitory and breathed a sigh of relief, closing her eyes gratefully as she shut the door behind her and pulled off the cloak.

"Well, well, well."

"Look what we have here, ladies."

"If it isn't the dormitory hopper."

Lily's eyes flew open in dismay; her three roommates were sitting on Dorcas's bed, which was directly opposite the door, and they were smirking evilly at her.

_I'm never going to live this one down._

Lily, James, and Remus entered into a strangely subdued prefects' compartment later that morning. Many prefects were going up to a fifth year named Johnny Prewett and offering what looked like condolences. Lily went over to Lauren and asked her curiously what was going on. Lauren looked grim.

"His father's gone missing. He's just got the news."

Lily felt her stomach sink as she looked over at Johnny Prewett. His face was pale and he was looking lost, as though he couldn't quite grasp where he was and what he was doing. She and Lauren watched as James went over to the boy and sat down next to him, talking to him quietly. Lily felt tears surface in her eyes; of course James would be able to help him.

She took a deep breath, trying to get herself under control, and counted the assembled prefects. Everyone was present, and as the train jerked to life and started on its way back to King's Cross Station, Lily called for order.

"Right, you know the drill. You may stay in the prefects' compartment, of course, but all of you must remember to patrol the halls occasionally to make sure all is well. If you return to different compartments with your friends, please make sure they behave correctly. Once the train arrives at the station, make sure everyone has their belongings and the luggage racks are cleared before exiting the train yourself. It might be the end of school, but we are still supposed to set examples for our fellow students. Now, does anyone have any questions?"

There were none; Lily nodded around at them all. "Very well. I hope you all have a lovely and safe holiday. Thank you for being so cooperative this year." She smiled, feeling her heart tug as she looked around at them. She didn't necessarily like all of the prefects, but they had all been first-rate.

"Let's give Lily and James a hand!" Lauren called suddenly, and led them all in a round of enthusiastic applause for their Head Boy and Girl. Lily smiled, blushing, and hastily sat back down. She glanced over at James; he was still sitting with Johnny, and he was smiling, albeit sadly.

After the applause had died out, several prefects exited the compartment to go rejoin their friends, but a good number stayed behind. Lily and James were supposed to stay in the compartment at least until midday, and so, after the plump witch with the food cart came by the compartment at about one o'clock, they went with Remus to find the compartment where Gwen, Sirius, Peter, Mary Katherine, and Dorcas were seated.

"This is it, then," Gwen said quietly after they had all settled into the compartment, and a silence fell. Not a tense silence, but a reflective silence. Lily wondered what the others were thinking; she was thinking about how this train ride would be if she hadn't darted in the middle of the night to the boys' dormitory. James wouldn't be seated beside her, and if he was, he wouldn't be holding her hand. He wouldn't have caught her eye with a mischievous, knowing grin as he had over breakfast that morning and caused her face to light up like a lantern. She wondered how often they would get to see each other from now on, and her stomach filled with apprehension. Surely they could work something out. He would be studying to be an Auror, a feat that took three years, and she would be at St. Mungo's learning to be a Healer. What if they just drifted apart? What if he met another woman who was training to be an Auror and…?

_No. No. I won't let it happen_, she thought fiercely, unconsciously gripping James's hand tighter. _I won't._

"You all right?" James whispered to her, frowning slightly.

Lily swallowed and forced herself to nod. "Yes, I'm fine."

His frown grew deeper. "Hmm. Why don't I believe you?"

Lily smiled. "Really, don't worry. I'm fine. I'm just going to miss this, you know."

He accepted her excuse reluctantly, and they settled into silence again. It was broken a short time later by Sirius, who couldn't stand it, and so several games of Exploding Snap, chess, and Gobstones broke out amongst them. Lily favored her book instead, though it was quite hard to concentrate with the bangs, shrieks from the Gobstones, and fierce egging on of the pieces in wizard's chess. Lily abandoned her book when Remus challenged her to a game of chess; she had never had the opportunity to play him, and found that their abilities were an almost perfect match, all though Remus was as quiet at the game as Lily was loud.

After being beaten narrowly by Remus after an hour and a half, Lily returned to her book. She tried to savor the moment, for who knew when they would all be together again, and it seemed to her that they arrived at King's Cross with alarming speed. They grabbed their trunks and assorted baskets and cages and filed out of the train. As they were exiting, Sirius bouncing his trunk down the stairs to the platform ahead of them, Lily suddenly turned to James with a frown.

"Where's Sirius going, James? He doesn't live with his parents anymore, does he?"

James nodded, suddenly grim. "He's staying with us for a bit before buying his own place. One of his uncles left him a good deal of gold when he died a while back, and he's going to use that." He scowled. "Wish he'd just stay with us, though. Wouldn't be any trouble."

Lily smiled, touched by his generosity, and then said suddenly, "I want you to meet my mum and dad."

His expression, before he could master it, was so full of horror that she burst out laughing. He had to grin at himself, but still he looked very uncomfortable.

"Now, Lily, d'you really think-?"

"Oh, James, you'll have to meet them sometime," she said, still chuckling as she heaved her trunk onto the platform. She stood back and watched as he did the same. "They don't bite, I swear."

She pulled him forcibly towards the barrier, ignoring his weak attempts to dissuade her, and nearly shoved him through it.

"_Ouch_ – Lily-"

"Where's that Gryffindor courage, eh?" Lily asked gleefully, ignoring his futile efforts to find his mother and instead dragging him over to where her parents were standing. "Mum! Dad!" she squealed, dropping her trunk and rushing towards them, still holding on to James. She gave them two breathless hugs before turning to her blushing boyfriend. "I want you to meet – this is James Potter, Mum and Dad. James, these are my parents, Bob and Chrissie Evans."

Mrs. Evans's eyes flicked to her daughter's in scandalized surprise, wagging her eyebrows suggestively, before holding out her hand to James. Lily winced, blushing terribly and praying James hadn't seen, as her mother shook his hand firmly. "James, what a pleasure to meet you. I've heard so much about you from Lily."

"It's nice to meet you too, Mrs. Evans."

Mr. Evans seemed to be sizing James up as he grasped his hand. "Well, James, I must admit, Lily has always led us to believe you were a bit of a rebel."

"_Dad_," Lily moaned, covering her face with her hand. To her surprise, James and Mr. Evans started laughing.

"You know, I was a bit of a trickster in my day," Mr. Evans was saying fondly through his chuckles, still firmly holding James's hand. "It attracts the ladies," he said in a mock-whisper, winking at James, who grinned delightedly.

"It hasn't failed me yet," James said, and both started laughing again.

Lily found she was smiling, half amused, half embarrassed beyond belief. Mrs. Evans had her arm around her daughter's shoulders and squeezed her tightly before whispering, "You didn't tell me how handsome he is, Lily dear."

Lily frantically hushed her mother, blushing again, but James hadn't heard; he and Mr. Evans had entered into a lively conversation about the various pranks that the magical world and the Muggle world had to offer. Mr. Evans was explaining the concept of a whoopie cushion to an incredulous and amused James.

"You plant it in someone's seat, you see, and when they sit down on it, the air comes out and it sounds like the person's just had-"

"Bob, really," Mrs. Evans said, motioning to Lily. "You're embarrassing her."

"_Mum_." Lily hid her head in her hands again.

"What, darling, you're blushing! I just wanted to-"

"Jamie!"

They all turned as one to see a tall, thin witch with graying red hair rushing towards them. James hurried towards her and enveloped her in a hug; now it was Lily's turn to be nervous. Mrs. Potter's face was so like James's that it was impossible not to realize they were related. Her brown eyes, however, were framed by deep shadows and her face was pale and thinner than her son's. Those tired eyes lit when James motioned to Lily, and she hurried towards her, beaming.

"I have heard so much about you, Lily," she said, taking Lily's hand in hers. "You are even prettier than Jamie described."

Now it was James's turn to blush, and Lily grinned. "Thank you, Mrs. Potter. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"You too, dear, you too," she said, still smiling widely. She had James's charming, infectious smile, Lily noticed.

Mrs. Evans cleared her throat, and Lily started, tearing herself away from examining Mrs. Potter and turning to her mother. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Potter, these are my parents, Bob and Chrissie Evans. Mum, Dad, this is Mrs. Potter."

"Katharine," Mrs. Potter said, shaking Mr. and Mrs. Evans's hands warmly. "So nice to meet you both."

"And you, Katharine," Lily's mum said graciously.

Mr. Evans beamed at both Potters. "James and I were just discussing various pranks we have played," he said.

Mrs. Potter looked at her son fondly, reaching around to hug his shoulders. "He's a bit of a rabble-rouser, I'm afraid. But he's a good boy."

"Oh! Lily, I've just thought of something – why don't we invite James to come to the wedding next Saturday?" Mrs. Evans said suddenly. "Sarah said you could bring someone with you, and I don't want there to be an extra space. What do you think?"

Lily clenched her jaws. "Mum, James doesn't want – it's a Muggle wedding-"

"I would love to come," James said cheerfully, and Lily bit the inside of her cheek to keep from stopping him. He would have to meet all of her stuffy relatives and endure Petunia and Vernon! If he didn't break up with her after going through that it would be a miracle!

"Lighten up," he murmured, coming close to her as their parents talked excitedly. "It'll be fun."

"No, it won't," Lily said through clenched teeth. "Honestly, James, you don't want to-"

"I do, I really do," James said with a spark of mischief in her eyes. "I've wanted to meet your sister for so _very_ long."

"But – but James doesn't have a tuxedo!" Lily said desperately to the parents; there was a pause, and then Mrs. Potter cleared her throat.

"Actually, I believe his father has a Muggle tuxedo from a – a party we went to years ago. A bit of a costume thing for the Ministry."

A very awkward silence reigned for a few moments, in which the bustling noises of the students greeting their parents and getting their luggage together seemed to be heightened. Mrs. Evans then said quietly, "Lily told us of your – your loss. You have our deepest condolences."

Mr. Evans made similar murmurings; Lily blessed her parents for their tact as she watched Mrs. Potter smile at their words and compose herself.

"Thank you. And you all must come to our home for dinner one night," she said brightly. "Sometime very soon."

"We would love that," Mrs. Evans said eagerly, and all the adults beamed at each other. Lily squeezed James's arm.

"Wonderful! I will be sure to owl you," Mrs. Potter said. "And what time should James arrive for the wedding?"

"Hmm. It starts at five o'clock – perhaps around four thirty?" Mrs. Evans said, looking thoughtfully at her husband before turning back to James and Mrs. Potter. "I won't be there, but Bob will take them."

Just then, Sirius came bounding up to their group and embraced Mrs. Potter tightly. She laughed and kissed him on the cheek. "Sirius! How did your exams go, dear?"

"Ah, they went," Sirius said dismissively, grinning, as he turned to Lily's parents. "You must be Lily's parents. I can tell where she gets her good looks," he said, winking at Mrs. Evans as they all laughed.

Lily smacked him lightly on the arm and said, "Mum, Dad, this is the incorrigible Sirius Black; Sirius, my parents, Bob and Chrissie Evans."

"A pleasure," Sirius said solemnly as he shook both of their hands.

"They have just invited James to a wedding next Saturday," Mrs. Potter said to Sirius, a smile playing about her lips.

"I see. Well, who wouldn't leap at the chance to be the lovely Lily's partner?" Sirius said charmingly.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Enough, Sirius, enough," she said, laughing in spite of herself.

"Well, we must be off, boys," Mrs. Potter said, motioning to James and Sirius. "It was so nice to meet you all. I'll be sure to owl you."

They exchanged parting pleasantries and then they all seemed to turn as one to look at James and Lily, who blushed.

"Hmm, Mrs. Potter, have you said hello to Mr. Bones yet? He's just over here…." Sirius asked suddenly, winking at James and Lily as he steered Mrs. Potter in the other direction.

"We'll just wait over there then, shall we?" Mrs. Evans said to her daughter, looking at the two of them meaningfully as she and Mr. Evans swept off. Lily shook her head and turned to James, who was grinning.

"Oh, stop. That was the most embarrassed I've felt in ages," she said, but smiled at him all the same.

He sobered slightly and reached up to touch a strand of dark hair that had escaped from its confines at the back of her neck. "I'll see you in a week, then?"

"I suppose so," she said quietly.

"I'll be counting the days," James said, his grin returning. "It'll be just like the old days before you knew I existed…. Mooning over you night and day."

"Don't flatter yourself, Potter," Lily said, grinning up at him. "Sirius won't let you moon. You'll forget about me while you dash about on that blasted broom all day."

"Well, what about you? Will you do any mooning for me?" he asked, feigning a wounded look.

Lily grinned. "Once again, don't flatter yourself, Potter." She looked around quickly before pressing a quick kiss to his lips. The look in his dark eyes as she pulled back made her want to leap back into his arms, but showing a great deal of self restraint, she stepped back and squeezed his hand. "Don't be late."

"I won't," he promised, and looked at her mischievously again. "I'm trying to think of what poems I should send to you this week. I wrote loads, you know."

Lily's jaw dropped and she laughed incredulously. "You wrote _poems_ about me?"

"Oh, yes. Ever since you broke my heart in third year," he said, wiping an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye.

Lily shook her head and kissed him quickly again – she couldn't resist – before walking in the direction that her parents had gone, a silly smile adorning her face. She looked back over her shoulder; he was still standing there, staring after her, and she waved. He returned the gesture and she continued walking, feeling lighter than air.

End of Part One


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